Honeydukes
by Without permission
Summary: Their fights have gotten too far and now Harry and Draco face one sweet punishment together. But the hell happens when Draco turns insane and starts advancing on Harry? SLASHINESS plus my horrible attempt at humor COMPLETED!
1. FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!

Disclaimer: Don't own Harry Potter, sadly lol  
  
Summary: Harry and Draco end up getting an odd (not really........maybe) punishment for fighting for like the seven hundredth time, they must work together in Honeydukes! YUMMY CANDY plus slashiness! (wink wink)  
  
This idea was starting off small but then it was beginning to nag me into typing it up so, here it is, this is also my pathetic excuse to test me humor skills which I probably don't have lol

* * *

Chapter One: Fight! Fight! Fight!

* * *

"Prick!"  
  
"Self centered!"  
  
"I am not!"  
  
"Yes you are!"  
  
"Well then you're an ass smelling fucker!"  
  
"Second next to you!"  
  
Hermione and Ron both watched in utter shock as their best friend and enemy started tearing each others limbs out, wands askew.  
  
"So," Ron said blankly, "how did this happen again?"  
  
"No idea," replied the bushy haired Gryffindor.  
  
"Should we pull them apart?"  
  
"Why? They look like they're having fun."  
  
"Riiiiiiiight, should we just call the professors or something?"  
  
"McGonagall?"  
  
"Yeah, sure."  
  
"Once again, I'm surprised that you're not cheering Harry or even IN the fight but...............let's go then."  
  
Harry raised a fist and swung it across Draco's face causing him to stumble and fall over, nearly slamming his head first on the ground if he didn't stretch out his hand to stop the sudden crash.  
  
The blond quickly kicked the raven haired boy, sending him to the floor too.  
  
By now the students were leaving for their next class but started to crowd around the two fighting, some shocked and worried, others cheering the fight on.  
  
"Filthy bloody muggle lover!" shouted Draco, standing over Harry and kicking down on his stomach nearly knocking the wind out of the other boy.  
  
"Fucking gay fag!" yelled Harry, nearly choking the words out. He stood up and shoved the Slytherin harshly to the ground.  
  
"FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!" the crowd kept cheering, gradually getting louder and louder. Colin Creevey happened to be in the crowd and was clicking away madly with his camera.  
  
"Kick him in the stomach Harry!" he shouted.  
  
"SILENCE!" the cheering students almost instantly shut up, a few running off. Professor McGonagall walked through the still crowded hall and found Draco and Harry at each others throats.  
  
"Jeeze they're still at it?" Ron muttered to Hermione.  
  
The deputy head pulled out her wand and muttered something that got Harry and Draco to suddenly jump away from each other almost by force.  
  
"What happened?" McGonagall said murderously.  
  
"No idea, they just started fighting," shrugged Ron.  
  
"For no reason!? Again!?"  
  
"Well they were shouting insults at each other in the beginning," said Hermione, looking at her raven haired friend a bit guiltily.  
  
"These fights have GOT to stop, does detention not go through both your heads?" the professor looked angrily at the Gryffindor and Slytherin who were glaring at each other. "Are you two listening to me?"  
  
"What professor?" Harry said through gritted teeth.  
  
"Ugh! I can't STAND these fights. Granger, Weasley; get on to class while I deal with these two."  
  
The two Gryffindors gave their friend one last guilty look before leaving.  
  
"You two come with me," McGonagall turned and walked away, the two enemies walking behind her, muttering insults at each other.

"Asshole."

"Cock sucker."

"Bite me!."

"Your mother!"

"How dare-"

"SILENCE!"

"...............Shit head."

"Suck my balls Potter, I could care less."

"Yuck!"

* * *

"Careful, carefully," Albus Dumbledore kept muttering, tongue sticking out in concentration, he was playing exploding snap. "Perfect," he muttered as he picked up two more cards to finish the pyramid. "Mwahaha."  
  
The knock on the door startled him making him jerk and make the pyramid explode.  
  
"Noooo!" he moaned, "I was just bloody there!" the knock on the door came again. "Come in!"  
  
The door opened and McGonagall walked in followed by the Gryffindor and Slytherin.  
  
"Headmaster-oh my............"  
  
"What?" there was a silence and he easily heard silent cracklings and the smell of fire, he looked down and gasped. "ACK!" the tips of his beard were on fire, slowly growing larger.  
  
He hurriedly lifted the end of his beard towards him and blew on it quickly; the fire went out in an instant.  
  
"There, no harm done," he said cheerfully, sweeping away the remnants of the exploding snap game from his desk with his arm. "So, what brings you all here?"  
  
"They've been fighting again," McGonagall said, a bit taken aback at how Dumbledore put out the fire.  
  
"Again?" whined the headmaster, he turned to the glaring duo, "boys, do you not understand? Peace and love will always prevail." He made a peace sign with his hand.  
  
Their angry faces turned blank. "Er............what?" Harry raised an eyebrow, confused.  
  
"Oh sorry, I was reading this muggle interview from the seventies lastnight-anyway! Why'd you bring them to me Minie?" he turned to McGonagall who blushed angrily at the nickname.  
  
"They need a better punishment, obviously detention, even with SNAPE, never stops their fights."  
  
"Oh," he looked a little blank then turned back to the sixth years, "why do you two always fight? Is it some kind of fetish?"  
  
"NO!" shouted the Slytherin, "just the sight of him makes me want to tear him apart!"  
  
"Same here!" the Gryffindor glared menacingly at Draco. Both ignored the fact they'd agreed on something.  
  
"Well separating you both didn't work last time," Dumbledore muttered, tapping his chin with his finger in thought, "never did, really."  
  
"So what do you propose?" McGonagall asked a bit worriedly.  
  
"They should work together!"  
  
The room went silent, the two youths looked horrified.  
  
"Fucking no," Draco said in a low voice, narrowing his eyes at his headmaster. "You think of something else or-"  
  
"Or what? Letter your father like the good spoilt brat you are?" sneered the Golden boy.  
  
"At least I HAVE a father!"  
  
Harry stood up, hands balled into fists.  
  
"BOYS!" the room went silent again. "Thank you, and no, I won't think of something else since my mind is empty at the moment."  
  
"More like all the time," muttered Draco.  
  
"What will they have to do to together?" McGonagall asked, glaring at the blond.  
  
"I believe Honeydukes is looking for help."  
  
"Honeydukes?" Draco questioned, "fecking no."

"Why Honeydukes?" McGonagall asked. "Are they looking for helpers?"  
  
"Yes, there was an ad on the Daily Prophet."  
  
"Why?" Harry eyed the man he usually trusted.  
  
"Well that'll be your punishment; um............I suppose you can both work in the weekends, including on Hogsmeade weekends."  
  
"How long?" the steel eyed teen asked suspiciously.  
  
"The rest of the year."  
  
"ARE YOU BLOODY NUTS!" the teens yelled.  
  
"Temporarily, yes. If Huneydukes will take you in-"  
  
"Oh GOD I hope not!" the Slytherin looked mortified.  
  
"Then you'll begin your work this weekend, I'm guessing, and you'll get paid for it as well."  
  
"Paid?"  
  
"Yes, you didn't think you'd work for nothing did you?"  
  
"Paid, for working?"  
  
"Of course. But only if you and Harry work well together."  
  
"................Bloody no."  
  
"Either that or expulsion."  
  
Draco thought through it, frowning gradually. "Fine," he muttered furiously.  
  
"Well then. This meeting's over, have a nice afternoon."  
  
The professor walked the two teens out of the office, the three a bit shocked at the punishment.  
  
"Oh yeah, I'm good," said Dumbledore, throwing his hands behind his head, leaning back and crossing his legs on the table, "WLAAAA!" the chair had fallen over.

* * *

Um, ok, my humor sucks (sighs) plus the chapter went by horribly quickly. Anyway, REVIEW PLEASE! 


	2. Mierda

Disclaimer: moi no own Harry Potter, although if I did.........heheh.........

Thanks for the reviews! (jumps around)

**Lara**: I've always pictured Dumbly making a peace sign so I finally put it in this story lol

**Swiftrunner**: Cool..........wait so the Honeydukes thing hasn't been done before? Oh well, and yeah soz, this is me first attempt at humor (looks sheepish) hee

**Lillei**: Thank you!

**HOnEySky**: here's your chance to review first lol! I'm not really sure if this chappy is gonna be too funny though (shrugs)

ON TO CHAPTER!!! Oh and I guess the warning here should be that there's some sexual actions (shrugs) I dunno if it's graphic or not (shrugs again) And I dunno the names of the owners of Honeydukes so I just made them up.

* * *

Chapter Two: Mierda

* * *

"We are SO sorry man," said the horrified Ron at the Gryffindor common room.  
  
"It's not definite though," Hermione said, although she sounded a bit unsure, "Honeydukes didn't say anything."  
  
"Yeah, besides, Quidditch practices are usually in the weekends, even if I get the job then I'd have a good argument about Quidditch," the raven head's spirits rose.  
  
"Harry you make it sound like you're a lazy dumbass."  
  
"I'm not lazy!"  
  
"Whatever, let's just hope Honeydukes won't accept."  
  
"Or else I'm blaming this whole thing on you guys."  
  
"You shouldn't have insulted Malfoy in the beginning," muttered Ron.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Nothing oh dear sir."  
  
"..................Ron are you on drugs?"  
  
"Might as well be."

* * *

"Things like these can only lead to sex."  
  
"WHAT!? Draco looked at Pansy incredulously. They were in the Slytherin common room sitting by the fire on one of the leather couches.  
  
"Obvious isn't it? I mean you and Potter are always at each others throats more than usual, it's only natural that you two are trying to ignore your hormones."  
  
"That's........................revolting."  
  
"No really, if a person looks at the two of you fighting closely, it's like you're both trying to touch each other or something."  
  
"That did NOT happen today."  
  
"Maybe not, but other times...............heheh."  
  
"...............What?" he looked at his friend suspiciously.  
  
"Hey Blaise!"  
  
The jet black haired boy looked up from his Arithmancy essay. "What?"  
  
"Isn't it true about Draco's fights with Potter?"  
  
"What's true?"  
  
"That it's more like touching than fighting."  
  
"Most of the time," he shrugged before returning to his essay, Draco gawked at him.  
  
"You have _got_ to be _kidding_ me!"  
  
"If you think on it, it really is true, ask anyone, you'll get the same answers," grinned the Slytherin.  
  
"WHY HAVEN'T YOU FUCKING TOLD ME!?"  
  
"I thought you knew."  
  
"How can I believe you?" his eyes narrowed.  
  
"The fight a few weeks ago, the one right after Transfiguration, you exchanged a few insults then WHAM it's like you both trying to dominate the other, touching each other, then Potter comes out with a groan, followed by yourself."  
  
"I don't remember that, I was pretty sure I punched him in the bloody balls."  
  
"That's not what it looked like," she said in a sing song voice, "your hand may have been in a fist but it looked more like rubbing that punching."  
  
Draco couldn't stop the light red tinge crawling up his cheeks. "What proof do you have?" he nearly growled.  
  
"That Creevey kid's taken pictures of some fights; I bought a few copies," she started to grin again, "some _very_ interesting ones."  
  
"Liar."  
  
"You don't believe me?" she kept her grin and took out her wand, "accio photos!"  
  
Draco froze as, a few seconds later; photo graphs flew out of the girls dorms, landing neatly on the grinning girls' hand.  
  
"Let me see those," he said angrily yet nervously, hand outstretched, shaking slightly.  
  
"If you're brave enough," she gave him the photos, amusement in her eyes.  
  
He lowered his eyes to the photo and in an instant they widened in shock.  
  
The first photo had him 'punching' Harry on his uh (ahem)_ manhood_, except that it actually did look more like rubbing, and the golden boys face wasn't contorted in pain, it was flushed with-  
  
'PLEASURE!?' Draco thought, paling more than he already was. He shakily flipped to another picture. 'Oh............JEEZE!'  
  
He remembered that fight. It happened right before Care of Magical Creatures. The picture showed him on top of Harry who was on the ground, hand around the boys' neck and another hand raised in a fist. Harry had his hand around Dracos' neck too, trying to get him not to punch him.  
  
At first nothing seemed wrong, but once he looked closer his eyes widened in horror. He realized where he had sat on Harry, and that their faces weren't fully looking angry, more like flushed and maybe even bliss?  
  
He skimmed through the other photos, gradually blushing, even though he had no idea why.  
  
"You know," Pansy said thoughtfully, "that Creevey kid wouldn't do badly as a pornographic photographer, right?" she looked at her friend but he had fainted from shock.

* * *

"Hmmm," Annabelle frowned slightly as she read through the letter, "what do you think, dear?" she handed the letter to her husband, Hank.  
  
"I don't know............it'd be funny to have the Boy Who Lived and Draco Malfoy working here just because of a fight."  
  
"Silly really, but we DO need the help."  
  
"Especially on tourist season and when the Hogwarts students come here."  
  
"Should we let them work here?"  
  
"What if they start fighting here? What if there are children here at the time?"  
  
"Well their payments depend on behavior. If they start fighting then they won't get paid, if it's insults then their pay is split in half."  
  
"So we should hire them?"  
  
"I reckon we can give it a shot, but this is a load of rubbish really, what kind of punishment is this? They'll be surrounded by sweets."  
  
Hank laughed at his wife. "Well then let's give them a chance and see how things turn out."  
  
"All hell will thunder here."

* * *

A reeking smell reached Draco's nose, he grumbled and turned away from the smell but the stink followed him. He pushed it away with is hand and felt cloth. A few sniggers and giggles broke out.  
  
"Wha?" he opened his eyes, "OH MY GOD!!!" he shot up and jumped away when he saw a pair of smelly socks, nearly all yellow, hovering over his face.  
  
The sniggers and giggles turned into an outright laughter, Pansy was rolling around on the floor, laughing her butt off, even Blaise, who was usually the calm one, was laughing out loud too, along with a few other Slytherins who were watching.  
  
"WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR!?"  
  
"My...........g-go-ha-d!" laughed Pansy, tears streaming down her eyes. Draco glared at her and everyone else.  
  
"You may not want to know who O-OWNS those socks," Blaise tried to say calmly, not succeeding fully.  
  
Draco shakily looked at the still floating socks; they were very large and thick making the stench even worse.  
  
"Hey, have you guys seen my socks?" Goyle walked out from the boys dormitories barefoot.  
  
The blond went green. He ran as fast as he could to the bathroom, his dinner rushing back up his mouth.

* * *

"Look at it this way," Ron said as he beat Seamus again at wizards chess, "if you get the job then you'll be in a place of heaven, mate. Sweets all over the place, do you think you can sneak me in some sugar quills?"  
  
"Oh! And those new gum balls with the cherry flavored fillings that lasts for days!" Hermione suddenly caught herself and glared at the red head, "Ron! Harry might not get the job and it's a_ punishment!_"  
  
"I didn't see you complaining when you asked for the gum balls," he crossed his arms.  
  
"Oh shush it!"  
  
Harry sighed and ignored his friends squabbling. He stared into the fire, half hoping he'd get the job now that he realized he'd be working in a store full of sweets that would last him years.  
  
But if he _did_ get the job then that would mean that Draco would too, which would make everything worse.  
  
'But it's still a fucking weird punishment,' Harry thought as he remembered all of the other detentions he had gotten because of Draco. 'Dumbledore's lost it from head to toe, bastard even turned into a hippie for a second.'  
  
His mind wandered off to the past fights he had with the Slytherin. Something didn't seem right with the fights. Most of them were brutal beyond words but others seemed, tender?  
  
The Gryffindor shook his head and stood up. "I'm going to bed."  
  
"What?" Hermione stopped fighting with Ron, "it's only eight o'clock," she laughed lightly.  
  
"So? I can be tired can't I?"  
  
"Well, whatever, g'night."

* * *

"AND DON'T EVER DO THAT TO ME AGAIN OR YOU'LL HAVE ALL YOUR ORGANS, INCLUDING YOUR _SKIN_, TORN OUT BY MY BLOODY BARE HANDS!" Draco yelled before slamming the door to his dorm shut.  
  
He stormed across the room, grabbed a pillow and screamed into it with all his strength before falling flat on his bed, tired.  
  
The blond could still hear laughter from outside, and the confused voice of Goyle, saying that the smelly socks had been washed.  
  
'Think of something else,' Draco thought as his mind kept replaying the smell of the socks.  
  
The thought of his punishment came to him in full force, he groaned miserably when he remembered the photos Pansy had shown him.  
  
What was more horrifying for him was that he found them all very interesting, in an oddly arousal way.  
  
'NO! Think of something else, besides and the socks and besides Potter!' Draco shouted in his head, closing his eyes and shaking his head as he tried to erase the photos from his mind.  
  
It was no use, no matter how hard Draco tried, his mind kept drifting off to Harry repeatedly. At one point he forced himself to think about naked women doing erotic things but even then his thoughts returned to Harry.  
  
"FUCKING HELL!" Draco screamed in his pillow again.  
  
'Give up, you know can't resist,' an evil little voice hissed in his head.  
  
"Shut up!"  
  
'So what if you like the bloody Boy Who Lived? It's not like everyone will be against you, what with Voldy gone and all.'  
  
"Did you not hear me before? GO AWAY!"  
  
'God, how immature you are, and you're already nearly a man. Tsk tsk, poor Draky poo's got an infatuation on Harry Potter.'  
  
"Leave me alone!"  
  
The door opened and Pansy's head popped in, "Draco? You ok? We were only joking."  
  
"GO AWAY! BEFORE I TEAR YOUR BLINKING BRAINS OUT!"  
  
"Oh how mature," she said sarcastically, but she left anyway.  
  
'Draco and Harry, sittin' in a tree K. I. S. S. I. N. G.'  
  
"SHUT UP!"  
  
"First comes love, then comes marriage-"  
  
"ARGH!"  
  
'Then you two are fucking in a baby carriage!'  
  
"...............That made no sense whatsoever, plus wouldn't that be uncomfortable?"  
  
'.....................Yeah you're right, but you're still lusting over the Gryffy Wiffy.'  
  
"Quit the nicknames, please," Draco moaned, trying to suffocate himself with the pillow over his head.  
  
'Just give up, at least your not fawning over Millicent.'  
  
"Don't give me nightmares. This is great; I'm having a conversation with myself."  
  
'I know, fun eh?'  
  
"Shut the bloody fuck up."  
  
'No. At least you made a good choice though, you know since Harry-'  
  
"What happened to 'Potter'?"  
  
'I can say his first name if I want! Anyway, you DO know that nearly half or more of the school's falling in love with Harry, right?'  
  
"So?"  
  
'And you have the rest, which is what? Forty eight percent or something?'  
  
"Does it look like I care?"  
  
'You dumbass.'  
  
"Fuck off."  
  
'I will NOT 'fuck off' but I KNOW you want to fuck Harry senseless.'  
  
"Ugh!" he turned on his side, the pillow still over his head.  
  
'Aha! You're giving up!'  
  
"Just for tonight, tomorrow I'll beat his bloody brains out."  
  
'Do you realize what you just said?'  
  
"Yes, I am well aware of what I said."  
  
'What did you say then?'  
  
"I said I would beat Potter up tomorrow."  
  
'That only proves that Pansy was right you fucking dolt!'  
  
"Huh?"  
  
'She said that you two fight because you're both trying to ignore your hormones, you're obviously lusting over Harry and you say you'll beat him up tomorrow!'  
  
"Oh. Well whatever."  
  
'Dumbass.'  
  
"Shut up, I'm going to sleep."  
  
'Heheheh.'  
  
He didn't like the way the voice in his head snickered but drifted off to sleep anyway.  
  
---  
  
Silk bed sheets slid joyfully against Dracos' bare skin, but even that couldn't compare to the touches the other boy was giving him.  
  
His hands were sliding up the blonds inner thighs, caressing his erection before gripping it and pumping it as he licked the Slytherins' hard nipples, making the silver eyed boy groan at the touch as his back arched.  
  
The raven head licked lower, both his hands straddling Dracos' hips as he licked his erection from the balls all the way to the top and then taking him whole in his mouth, sucking and licking.  
  
The blond kept moaning and groaning, arching his back gracefully again, his head sinking in his pillow slightly, enjoying every moment as Harry kept sucking harder and harder until he came into his mouth, and swallowed all of his cum.  
  
The Gryffindor grinned and licked his lips before kissing the blond passionately, running his tongue against the Slytherins' tongue, wrestling with it before it trailed down to lick and suck Dracos' neck.  
  
His talented hands trailed up the blonds' legs again, spreading them before injecting a finger in his entrance making Draco gasp.  
  
---  
  
The boy gasped softly and realized he was barely getting any air. He opened his eyes and was welcomed to half darkness. The pillow was still on him, but only covering his right eye and half of his mouth  
  
He was sweating profusely, and he needed to have some business to take care of.  
  
'Thank god for separate dorms,' Draco thought, sitting up.  
  
'Yep, thank god, or they would have heard you cry Harry's name out in your sleep.'  
  
'You AGAIN?'  
  
'The one and only.'  
  
'Don't you have anything better to do?'  
  
'Like what? If I left then you'd be unconscious.'  
  
'Oh............what do you want?'  
  
'Nothing, but you'd better take care that lil business soon, that erection must be throbbing.'  
  
Draco looked down at his pants, there was a tent made by his own erection, his uh.........inner voice was right, it was throbbing painfully, especially in the covers of his boxers and pants.  
  
"Great," he muttered as he gingerly lowered his pants and boxers. "Just great."  
  
'Yeah, you got yourself an erection from a wet dream with the Golden Boy,' the inner voice started cackling.  
  
'Shut up.'  
  
'Just do what you have to do.'  
  
He winced slightly as he gripped the throbbing manhood but still letting out a soft groan he tried to hold back.  
  
'Right, now think about Harry doing this to you.'  
  
'WHAT!?'  
  
'Hey if you do it then you'll get to breakfast before it's over.'  
  
'You have GOT to be kidding me! YOU'RE COMPLETELY PERVERTED!'  
  
'Thank you, now; imagine him taking you whole in your mouth, sucking the living daylights out of you.'  
  
'This is stupid,' but Draco was blushing lightly as visions started to go through his mind, 'stop! I can't think about that! It's gross! It's disgusting! It's revolting!'  
  
'And yet you like it.'  
  
'Oh shut up!'  
  
'Just accept the damned images, unless you don't want breakfast.'  
  
'I can live with that.'  
  
'What about classes. You know you won't be able to go to Durmstrang now that you're almost finished with Hogwarts.'  
  
'Shut up.'  
  
'Just pump yourself and imagine it's Harry sucking your bloody cock!'  
  
Draco blinked and a bunch of visions started flowing into his head, he couldn't ignore it and his erection was throbbing painfully harder.  
  
He imaged Harry licking and sliding Dracos' size into his mouth, sucking hard. The blond groaned loudly at the visions and as he pumped himself faster, gripping harder as he threw his head back a little, eyes closed, visions of Harry still in his head.  
  
He cried out the Gryffindors' name and he felt himself come, he felt the sticky liquid slide down his fingers. Sighing still breathing quickly, he took his wand from his bedside table, muttered a spell and all the cum disappeared.  
  
"Shit," he muttered, still trying to ignore the new feeling.  
  
'Or as the Spanish say, mierda.'

* * *

(blushing lots) ok then, um....dunno where this perverted chapter came from heheh...........review please? 


	3. Hired

Disclaimer: Hiiii!!! I don't own Harry Potter!!! (suddenly looks depressed)  
  
WHOA! Thanks for the reviews!

**Lillei**: lol thanks

**ironic-humour**: thanks (smiles and jumps around) yay it was funny!

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**GeminiEmerald**: wow really? thank ya!

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**shorty-girly**: (blinks) what's munted?

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**oreo**: yay Dumbly was funny!

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**Isis-mystic**: thank you!

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**Swiftrunner**: humor's getting better? woohoo! yeah, Draco's going crazy (nods) BLAME HIS INNER VOICE lol

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**jess**: I'll try not to be embarrassed (toothy ass smile)

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**Robin the bird**: thank ya!

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**S.Malfoy**: I was doing dry humor??? COOL!

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**Zelphie**: sweet tender moments.............heehee HOPEFULLY SOON!!

Ok, I dunno if I should say ask this here but whatever, ok, me smutness may suck ass, hee my last story I had no clue WHAT I was doing, so am I improving now???

A/N: ok me sort of fixed that lil part with the radio and Ron it's not a big change though so don't worry.

* * *

Chapter Three: Hired (obviously)

* * *

Harry woke with a bit of a start. He wanted to scream in fright but didn't, instead he tried to calm down and ignore what he had just dreamt about.  
  
'No way, hell no, yuckies!' he pulled a face and shuddered, trying to ignore the fact that he got hard from the wet dream.  
  
There was a yawn from the bed next to his. He grabbed his wand from the bedside table and put a silencing charm on the bed.  
  
'Today is gonna be crucially horrible,' he thought as he started to take care of business.

* * *

"Draco?" Pansy looked at the blond a bit blankly.  
  
"Huh?" he looked up from his plate.  
  
"You ok? You're really quiet."  
  
"I'm just thinking, I CAN do that you know."  
  
"Amazing," she said sarcastically, she looked around the table, "where's Blaise?"  
  
"I dunno," Draco shrugged, "what do I look like his stalker?"  
  
"Oh shut up and tell me what's wrong."  
  
"Nothing is wrong!"  
  
"Liar, liar, ass on fire."  
  
"That would be painful.................."  
  
"So tell moi what's wrong, or else I'll start with the pet names."  
  
"No."  
  
"Aw come on Draky-Poo."  
  
"No."  
  
"My Ickle Dragy waggy."  
  
"Eww-no."  
  
"Come on; tell cousin Pansy what is on your ickle itty bitty mi-"  
  
"Shut up!"  
  
"Then tell me what's wrong! Or else I'll say it out loud, really loud!"  
  
"Ok fine!" he looked around the Great Hall fearfully, his eyes fell on Harry who was having the similar tiff with his friends.  
  
"Well then?"  
  
He looked back at her and sighed unhappily. "I think I'm going insane."  
  
"What?"  
  
"If you tell this to anyone that you'll expect that I'll have all of your organs torn to pieces."  
  
"Ew! Ok fine I promise."  
  
He leaned closer and lowered his voice. "I need your help. I think I'm falling in love with the stupid Pothead."  
  
"Who?" she looked at him confused then realized what he meant and gasped happily as she clapped her hands and jumped on her seat. "HOW ADORABLE!"  
  
"SHUT UP!"  
  
"Oh right sorry."  
  
A few people looked at them curiously but looked away at Dracos' death glare.  
  
"Why do you need my help?"  
  
"I don't want to fall in love with him! Can you get me to fall OUT of love?"  
  
"Nope. You two are too cute together so I refuse, besides, any potion would rub away in a matter of time so there."  
  
"....You're evil."  
  
"But when did you realize it?"  
  
"From a stupid wet dream, and my inner mind that seems to have a mind of its own."  
  
"Oh poor dear."  
  
"You're such a mother."  
  
"Merci. But I can help you get him to fall for you."  
  
"Eh?"  
  
"Potter's a bit on the shy and gullible side right?"  
  
"Yeeaah..........what's your point?"  
  
She sighed. "You dumbass," Draco was immediately reminded of his inner voice. "My point is that he can be easily seduced, duh!"  
  
"What!?"  
  
"Isn't it obvious? Your fights with him are like your trying to get into each others pants, he probably already fancies you even though he doesn't know it, you just have to uh............help him realize it," she grinned mischievously.  
  
"What've you got on your mind?" the blond looked at her suspiciously.  
  
"Phew!" Blaise plopped down on his seat, wiping a bit of sweat from his forehead. "G'morning!" he started piling his plate. His two friends looked at him a bit surprised.  
  
"Where've you been?" Pansy eyed her friend.  
  
"What? Oh! Nothing, just around, I figured since Draco was so mad about those pictures that I'd get the Creevey boy to stop."  
  
They looked at his appearance, he looked as if he quickly put on his clothes in three seconds, and his hair was a complete mess.  
  
"You don't look like you've fought him," Draco raised an eyebrow.  
  
"I never said I fought him," Blaise grinned at he raised his orange juice to his lips. Pansy and Draco both looked at him in shock then turned to the Gryffindor table and spotted Colin sitting down, flustered and out of breath.  
  
"You're kidding me right?"  
  
"Hm?" the other boy glanced at him before taking a bite from his toast.  
  
"You, and HIM? My god!"  
  
"He is kinda hot," Pansy said thoughtfully as he kept looking at the Gryffindor, "what with his hair all messy like that as if he'd gone through a mind blowing shag-"  
  
"Pansy!" the blond looked at his friend aghast.  
  
"Well it's true. So anyway, about Potter, we're gonna start small."  
  
"Hm? What are you talking about?" Blaise looked at the two other Slytherins.  
  
Draco shot out from his seat, lunged towards Pansy by jumping over the table and landed on her harshly making them both tumble down. "You have got the BIGGEST MOUTH!" he shook her violently but instead got laughs out of her.  
  
"Calm down before this scene becomes bigger than it already is!"  
  
Draco looked up and saw nearly everyone facing him with shocked faces. He got off of Pansy, turned, jumped over the table again and sat back down on his seat as he dusted his shirt and pants. "FUCK OFF!" he shouted at the stares as he picked up his orange juice.  
  
Pansy got herself up and sat back down, dusting her skirt before returning to speak with the other Slytherin. "So, 'bout me plan."

* * *

Harry could not let the shock wash away from his face when he saw Draco jump over the table and back again. "Did that just happen?"  
  
"Yes apparently it did," said an equally shocked Ron, "look at that, Ferret Boy finally cracked."  
  
A flurry of owls suddenly swooped in, all carrying parcels or letters from whoever had sent it.  
  
"I want to listen to the radio," Harry said out of no where.  
  
"Harry what are you talking about?" Hermione looked amused and puzzled at the same time, "you can't use any electric equipment here there's too-"  
  
"Haha that's what you know," he stuck out his tongue at her, "I found a nifty lil spell that got it to merge with magic so there, haha."  
  
"Then why aren't you listening to it here?"  
  
"Because I was afraid someone would start experimenting with it," a letter landed on his head and fell into his cereal. "Great, my cereal's ruined," he took it out and opened it, he paled rapidly. "Oh fuck!"  
  
"What?" He handed the letter to Ron who read it out loud, "'Dear Mr. Potter, we're pleased to inform you that you have been hired along with Mr. Draco Malfoy as employees for Honeydukes. We understand that this is a punishment that will last the whole year so your payments will depend on your behavior and how well you work together. You and Mr. Draco Malfoy will begin this Saturday at ten o' clock in the morning. Congratulations.'" Ron suddenly burst out laughing.  
  
Harry banged his head on the table and was stopped when Hermione's hand grabbed his head. "Look at the bright side; at least you'll get paid."  
  
"And you'll be working in a candy store............YOU LUCKY BASTARD!" Ron shouted realizing Harry's position.  
  
"Now about those gum balls," Hermione closed her Arithmancy book and folded her hands looking very business like.

* * *

Draco gawked at his letter and fell back from his chair with a loud clatter and thump. Blaise and Pansy looked down at him.  
  
"I'm going to hell aren't I?" he said weakly.  
  
"With a hot guy too...............actually you're going to heaven," Pansy looked thoughtful again, "bastard, and I just realized how fucking sexy the Gryffindor Golden Boy is too!"  
  
"Care for a switching spell?" Draco offered, still on the floor.  
  
"Nah, it wouldn't feel right now wouldn't it?" she grinned down at him, "so anyway, 'bout ma plan."

* * *

Um...............ok? Review please? 


	4. Getting Ready

Disclaimer: No own lol

THANKS FOR THE REVIEWS!

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**Robin the bird**: I'm not exactly revealing the plan by words, more like discription or whatever lol, hope you'll like the plan though!

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**thedarkside45**: yay my humor doesn't suck! (dances) yes and maybe Draky will get more wet dreams of our Gryffindor hot ass

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**HOnEySky/Dracomine**: well if you still want to be the first reviewer for chappy four hurry and review quickly lol

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**Lillei**: yeah I know I just fixed that lil part on chappy three (sweatdrop) me forgot to do me research

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**Inylan**: my smuttiness is good? yay! I must be getting better at it! along with me humor too! woohoo!

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**Kikirini-chan**: yeah! Draco/Harry 4 eva and eva!!!!!! Please don't kill me (looks nervous) heres the new chappy uheheh

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**skittle426**: maybe I should make Dumbly do the peace sign a few more times (ponders) heehee

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**Swiftrunner**: glad you liked some of the weird quirkes! yeah, Pansys' plan, I hope you'll like it 'cause it'll sometimes come out written and other times come out in description to what Draco does to our Harry lol hopefully her idea will sound.........interesting lol

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**PotionsPet:** heehee I sorry I fixed the radio part though, me forgot to research lol

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**Isis-mystic**: glad you like me Pansy in da story!

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**FlameArchanist**: cool! I wrote adorable smut! woohoo!

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**Lyndsay-Marie**: soz this chap won't have them working together BUT IN THE NEXT CHAPTER THEY WILL!!!!

Anyway yeah, I fixed that lil error with Ron and the radio so lol yeah. I forgot what else to say so just read on! REEEAAAAD OOOON

* * *

Chapter Four:

* * *

"Ok you got your tie fixed, cologne to the right smell and uh......yeah, suit's wrinkle free, hair's perfect, dick in place-"  
  
"PANSY!" Draco yelled, "would you quit worrying!? It's just the first fucking day! Of work! Not a date!"  
  
"Well it's with the Griffy so it's pretty much a date," she crossed her arms.  
  
"Forget it, this is just overdoing it," he undid his tie with one hand and the suit with the other, "I'll go in my regular clothes," he walked towards his ever so endless closet and randomly grabbed pants and a shirt that, even to his surprise, matched.  
  
"Nice choice," Blaise complimented, "too bad it's FALL!"  
  
"Huh?" He looked at his choice of clothes, scowled and went back in his closet, "this is such a bitch...and I'm acting like a bloody school girl!"  
  
"Aww isn't he _cuuute_!" Pansy said in a motherly way.  
  
"I know you didn't just say that," his voice came echoing from the closet.  
  
"Say what, dear?"  
  
"Thought so," there was a pause of silence and he walked out, "there, now I won't freeze my ass to death."  
  
"Um, Draco," Pansy tried not to laugh, "You're wearing your pajamas under your winter coat."  
  
"Wha?" he looked in the mirror, scowled again and stormed back in the closet.

* * *

"I'm gonna die, go to hell, and be stuck with Voldemort for the rest of eternity," Harry moaned miserably as he made his way to the common room.  
  
Hermione had just arrived in the common room and spotted Harry. "You're_ not_ going out like that are you?" she nearly gasped.  
  
"And I'm gonna get me organs fried and-" he looked at the bushy haired girl, "since when do you care about what I wear?"  
  
"Since now, look at you, you look like you've been living in the streets ever since birth!"  
  
"What?" he nearly whined as he looked down at himself, "it's just a job."  
  
"Yeah, it's a JOB, you can't go wearing those old things, look at that," she motioned her hand to this shirt, "there's three tears, on the armpit, another near the stomach and one near the collar lining. And your jeans, faded, ripped at the hems, and the zipper looks like it'll give away."  
  
Harry sighed and sat on his favorite couch. "So what am I supposed to wear? Some are worse off than these."  
  
Ron nodded in sympathy. "I feel ya mate."  
  
Hermione took out her wand almost lazily, "has charms class ever taught you anything at all," she said exasperatedly.  
  
"Sometimes," the two said in unison.  
  
"There's the color changing spell, repairing spell, and that sizing spell."  
  
"Oh," Harry blinked, "so, use them on my clothes."  
  
"Stand up," the boy sighed and stood up; Hermione pointed her wand to the shirt, "Repairo."  
  
Harry jerked a little when the spell hit him, the holes in his shirt knitted themselves back together. Hermione repeated the spell to his jeans.  
  
"Ok," she kept the wand pointed to the other boys' jeans, "what size do you want them to be?"  
  
"So they can breathe."  
  
Ron looked at his best friend confused. "Breathe? Wouldn't they need a mouth for that?" he looked at his own pants, "oh wait! The fly, that would be their mouth," he unzipped the fly, "exhale," he zipped it, "inhale."  
  
Hermione and Harry watched mouth agape and dumbstruck as the red head kept repeating the process. They glanced at each other with their eyes since the rest of their bodies were frozen in shock, both thinking the exact thing, how dumb could Ron get?  
  
"Inhale, exhale, inhale, ex...hale..." Ron realized the silence, looked up and quickly zipped up his pants as his face turned red, "uh, heh! Sorry you had to uh...see that."  
  
"Someone please modify my memories," Harry said weakly. Hermione shook her head out of her own little perverted thoughts and turned back to the raven head.  
  
"Ok, so, what size did you want your pants to be?"  
  
"To bre-baggy!" he shot a fearful glance at Ron who was still red in the face.  
  
"Ok," the Gryffindorette pointed the wand to the boys' pants, they watched confusedly as she muttered a bunch of things under her breath before a small blue spark hit the Golden Boys' jeans.  
  
"Ah," Harry sighed in relief, "comfy, can you turn them black?"  
  
Hermione started to look a bit pissed but said the spell and got the jeans black.  
  
"With a big pocket."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"I'll need it! Please?" he made a pout complete with puppy dog eyes that no one could resist except maybe Snape and the late (thank almighty god) Voldemort.  
  
"Alright fine," she tried to sound irritated but added the extra pocket to the boys' jeans. "Happy?"  
  
"Yep, accio radio!" there was a pause and a CD player came flying into the raven heads open hand.  
  
"What is that?" Ron looked at it curiously, "that's not a radio."  
  
"Oh, it's a CD player and a radio," he said as he pocketed it, "I just got into the habit of saying it was a radio."  
  
"............Oh."  
  
"And what's this NIFFTY lil spell you got to get it to work in here?" Hermione crossed her arms.  
  
"A bunch of spells put together to make the Herespaldas spell."  
  
"The what?" Ron gawked at her, "I never heard of it, Ron shut your mouth you're gonna start drooling." Said boy snapped his mouth shut and frowned at her.  
  
"It's the disguising spell along with the energy and deflecting spell. Heheh I'm smart," his said proudly as he put on the headphones with Ron looked at curiously.  
  
"Right, sure whatever. Why are you bringing it to work?" Hermione asked, trying not to sound irritated for not knowing such a spell.  
  
"So I won't have to hear Malfoys' drawling voice while I work, come on," he said, walking towards the portrait hole.

* * *

"There!" Draco said a little too happily that he sounded crazy, "I'm dressed properly, I'm not gonna freeze, go to sleep, dance, have sex or ANYTHING with these type of clothes!"  
  
Blaise and Pansy raised their eyebrows as they nodded their approval. "Good," the Slytherin girl nodded, "very......normal."  
  
"Took like twenty-seven changes to get to this though," Blaise nearly muttered, he noticed Dracos' glare, "IT'S GOOD! It's good."  
  
The blond looked at himself in the mirror and started fixing his hair before he froze when he realized what he was doing. "I've turned into some sort of infatuated rabid fangirl," he said miserably.  
  
"Don't worry, remember, start small or you'll torment the poor boys' mind," Pansy raised a finger in warning.  
  
"Take me to my death."  
  
"That's the spirit!" they grabbed him by the arms and nearly ran out of the Slytherin dorms happily.

* * *

Snape looked at Dumbledore incredulously. "S-Sir?"  
  
"Ah Severus! Beautiful day isn't it!" said the bearded man happily as he stood next to him on the exit towards Hogsmeade. "The sun is shining, birds chirping, squid eating its fair share of fish."  
  
The potions teacher looked up and down at the headmaster, aghast to see that the man was wearing sandals and sunglasses with circle lenses. "Why? Why are you WEARING those SANDALS?"  
  
"Do you not know of the animals they kill to make leather shoes or shoes at all? It's a waste Severus, that documentary really changed my life."  
  
"Animals? Documentary?"  
  
"The animals that are killed to make clothes and food! It's inhuman man!"  
  
Snape kept gawking at the man, his voice and language had changed completely.  
  
"Dumbledore?" Harry looked at the headmaster in the same manner as Snape, "are you alright?"  
  
"Splendid! You should read that documentary, changed my life, it did."  
  
"Uh......right? What are you doing here though?" he glanced at Hermione and Ron, both gawking at Dumbledore.  
  
"What the FUCK!?" everyone turned to face the laughing Slytherin Prince.  
  
Harry felt a light blush burn his cheeks when he saw the boy. He was in a black shirt that was almost tight but you could sort of make out the muscles it was covering, there was a thin white sweater underneath the shirt and his deep black pants were loose and held a long thin chain that connected from the waste belt to the pocket. All in all the clothes fitted him very well, like they belonged for only him. It took a lot of strength to make Harry turn away.  
  
'So now what? Am I gay?' he wondered. Draco noticed Harry's light blush and smirked before turning back to Dumbledore and laugh again. Everyone noticed the little pause and glance that he made, Ron and Hermione looked at the raven head curiously but turned back to the headmaster. Pansy and Blaise merely grinned.  
  
"Mr. Malfoy! Good, you're all here," the old man turned hippie said cheerfully, completely undented by Dracos' laughter. "Just needed to tell you dudes something."  
  
'Dudes? Oh Merlin whatever happened to the irritatingly calm headmaster,' Harry thought a bit despairingly. 'Damn! Ever since I killed that dumbass of a Dark Lord everyone's been acting crazy!'  
  
"Try and be peaceful together, with the peace that you'll have you'll both reach righteousness, man."  
  
'He CANNOT be Dumbledore,' Harry sighed but continued to listen.  
  
"Oh and Professor Snape would like to say something too," Dumbledore pointed behind him where Snape stood.  
  
Everyone turned to the greasy haired man who had his arms crossed. "No duels with wands or else you'll make such a mess that you'll be stuck working in Honeydukes until the next three years."  
  
"You may go," the headmaster made way for Harry and Draco, "and remember peace and love with conquer all!"  
  
Harry could have sworn he heard some sort of guitar/harp play. 'Those were the dumbest advices I ever heard in my life!' he hadn't realized Draco walking behind him.  
  
'Nice ass,' the blond thought as he watched Harrys' rear with a grin. "Very nice."  
  
"What?"  
  
"I said something?"  
  
"Of course you idiot!"  
  
"What did I say?"  
  
"'Very nice.'"  
  
"Your ears are over waxed."  
  
"Insane bastard," he muttered, walking faster.  
  
"PROUD OF IT!"  
  
"Ye-what?" Harry turned to face the blond who looked immensely happy for some scary reason.  
  
"I said," Draco whispered into the boys' ear, "Proud of it." His breath heating up Harrys' ear and making him shudder. He could feel the Slytherin grin but to his horror he felt the boys' tongue dart out and lick his ear for a split second before the Slytherin walked on like nothing had happened.  
  
'Holy hell,' the Gryffindor stood stalk still in shock, 'oh no!' he felt last mornings wet dream come in his head, 'don't think about that Harry, control yourself-DON'T LOOK AT HIS ASS GODDAMNIT!'  
  
He tried to regain his composure and continued to walk on. "Fag," he muttered at the blonds' back.  
  
"So are you."  
  
'Lord have mercy and let me die!'

* * *

sorry if this was short and not even at Honeydukes (cries) but I want the first day to be fully in one chapter, I promise it to be longer and funnier, hopefully. Oh and sorry if I was being sterotypical on hippies! Review please? (looks a bit nervous) 


	5. Slave Labor

Disclaimer: don't own (cries till apocalypse)

THANKS FOR THE REVIEWS!

**Isis-mystic**: I wonder if a Dumbly hippie _has_ been done before (mind wanders off)

**Shadow Psi**: Thank you!

**DraculUnknown**: wow really? COOL! yeah the zipper thing came out at random in my head so I just wrote it lol

**Inylan**: heehee thank ya!

**Swiftrunner**: good luck with the exam! Ron was about to drool in shock over Hermione 'cause she didn't know the spell that Harry was talking about (gasp) OMG! lol yes! HARRY AND DRACO 4 EVER!!!!!!!!!!

**Falcon Zanbandia of Nightmares**: lol thank you, glad you like me hippie Dumbly!

**Lyndsay-Marie**: hope this is amusing

**Lillei**: I am lol

**HOnEySky**: lol hope you're first to review this! good luck!

**YamiYumes**: yep, I'm continuing! lol

**Nichole08**: yay you reviewed this! thanks it's my first attempt at a full story humor (looks sheepish)

**Wino**: lol thanks

**Robin the bird**: hope this chapter's long enough!

**Kikirini-chan**: ack! MONKEYS!!! (starts running around) AHHH! here's the new chapter lol

**AvyOwl**: yay it's funny! thank you!

Ok the moment some/most/all of you have been waiting for! it's the first day and I threw in a few things so I dunno if it makes sence or not lol anyway, onto chappy!

* * *

Chapter Five: Slave Labor

* * *

"What is that?" Draco looked at Harry curiously as they walked towards Honeydukes.  
  
During the walk Harry had put on his headphones, mostly because he wanted to erase the memory of what the blond did to him on their journey to Hogsmeade.  
  
"Hello? Potter?" Draco tapped the boy on the shoulder.  
  
"What?"  
  
"What is that around your head?"  
  
"What?" he didn't want to stop listening to his favorite song.  
  
"What is that around your head are you deaf!?"  
  
"Whatever," he shrugged and continued to look on ahead past the small shops.  
  
"Can't you hear me? POTTER!!" he yelled close to his ear.  
  
"AHH!" the Gryffindor jumped covering his ears, "god, no need to shout, asshole," he lifted one side of the headphones so he was still listening to the song in the other ear.  
  
The blond looked like he was about to explode. "What is that _thing_ around your _head_?" he said in a murderous low voice.  
  
'Easy there dimwit, remember Pansy's plan,' the inner voice said in Dracos' head.  
  
Harry watched a bit fearfully as the Slytherin Prince suddenly calmed down. "You're right."  
  
"About what?" the raven head backed away a little.  
  
"No not you."  
  
The Gryffindor looked around, barely anyone was outside. He looked back at Draco and backed away even more.  
  
"So what is that thing?" he pointed to the headphones.  
  
"It's a CD player."  
  
"A what?"  
  
"A _CD player_, it plays _music_," he spoke as if he were teaching a three year old, "_see?_" he stopped the CD and opened the player where a red disk lay.  
  
"That's a muggle device isn't it?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Ugh!" he turned back to walking. "Filthy."  
  
'Disturbing person...we didn't fight at all! Holy shit! I think I might be on crack!' Harry suddenly pondered the idea, 'yeah I might be.'  
  
Another idea occurred through him and he ginned evilly as he played the cd again and took off his headphones.  
  
'Ok, I have to calm down; muggle stuff can't be that bad right?'  
  
'I bet they're interesting, damn you and your Malfoyish ways! You bastard! You muggle hater! You sex addict!'  
  
"I'm not a sex addict!"  
  
Harry blinked and tried to hold back his laughter as he held the headphones closer towards Dracos' head.  
  
'I didn't say that out loud did I?'  
  
'Yep ya did ma boy! And yes you are a sex addict, heheh, ever since you started noticing Harrys' hot bod you couldn't stop think about having sex with the-"  
  
'Ok I get it-' "AH!" he felt something being put quickly and forcefully over his ears. He tried to run but two strong hands grabbed his arms nearly making him fall. 'HOLY SHIT!!!! I'M GONNA BE MUGGED! POSSIBLY RAPED!! MOST LIKELY MURDERED!!!'  
  
"Calm down," he heard Harrys' voice near his ear, laughing lightly. The blond suddenly froze in shock, their bodies were so close together and he liked the heat radiating against the other boy.  
  
'Oh shit. Don't get hard, don't get hard,' he chanted in his head trying to ignore how close they were, 'too bad we're not naked-NO STOP IT! HEAD OUT OF GUTTER NOW!'  
  
"Just listen."  
  
"To what?" he instantely hated himse for sounding wimpy.  
  
"You don't hear anything?"  
  
"Just you."  
  
".........I will try to ignore the fact that your voice was soft, here let me see," he looked down at his cd player, "oh, sorry it was on pause." He pressed the play button and the Slytherin jumped in surprise when music suddenly banged into his head.  
  
"What the hell?" he tried not to look disappointed when Harry let go of him and continued to walk, pulling Draco along because he still had the cd player. "What is this?" he lifted one side of the headphones like the Gryffindor had before.  
  
"It is music, have you heard of it?"  
  
"Shut up and quit sounding sarcastic!"  
  
"It's trust company."  
  
"A company?"  
  
"Not an _actual_ company, it's a band."  
  
"Oh," he frowned slightly as he kept listening to the music, "I never heard anything like this before."  
  
"You're kidding right?"  
  
"No. Unlike you, I have TASTE in music."  
  
"You do realize that muggles can make music too."  
  
"Yes but I thought they did it like us. I had no idea they did barbaric music."  
  
"It's not barbaric...why are we being civil?"  
  
"Why do you care?"  
  
"Just wondering, usually we'd be pounding the shit out of each other."  
  
"Yeah sure whatever. So this is the only type of music that muggles can do?"  
  
Harry sighed. "Who dumb could you get? Of course they don't only do that type of music! They do hip hop, pop, rock, classical, and other stuff! Damn that's sad of you."  
  
"Shut up, we're here."  
  
"Where?" The Gryffindor turned to where Draco was looking, "oh."  
  
There it stood, the glorious store that was Honeydukes, the big mama store of all sweets, the-ok whatever.  
  
The two teens walked inside. The store seemed a lot more peaceful since it was empty; the shelves stuffed with sweets made it seem like heaven.  
  
Harry immediately spotted a few large jars full of the gum balls that Hermione was begging him to get for her. 'They do look good...long lasting taste that lasts for days...different flavors...mm-mm! I wonder what flaver Dr-' he was interrupted by his thoughts when he felt his headphones being rammed back to him.  
  
"Ah good, you're both here, and on time too," Annabelle walked towards them.  
  
"You must be Mrs. Honeydukes, a pleasure to meet you madam," Draco said politely as he shook the startled woman's hand after giving it a small peck at the knuckles. Harry gawked at him.  
  
'Insanity level, one hundred percent, oh well who gives?' the blond thought amusedly.  
  
'I'm scared for you now.'  
  
'Shut up.'  
  
"NEVAAAAA!!!!'  
  
"Well," Annabelle looked slightly flustered. "Let's start with the ground rules before we start with anything."  
  
At the time Hank arrived with a list in his hand. He was frowning at it in confusion then sighed. "Not again!"  
  
"Hank, the uh, new employees have arrived."  
  
"Huh? Oh, hi there," he joined his wife as he folded and pocketed the list. "Where are the uniforms?"  
  
"Uniforms?" Draco paled.  
  
"Yes," Annabelle began, "you'll be starting your work in the basement, when you've both or one of you have gotten better at it then you'll be promoted to a higher job."  
  
"Oh, but what are these uniforms?"  
  
"Well you wouldn't want to dirty your clothes when you work down there would you?"  
  
"No!"  
  
Harry tried to stifle a laugh. "What are the rules?"  
  
"Simple, work civilly together, there's absolutely NO stealing the candies, and no cursing, at least not in front of us or any one else here," Hank said the last rule almost desperately.  
  
"Guess that means I'll have to _buy_ the gum balls," Harry hung his head low miserably, he hadn't brought any money with him. 'Hermione's gonna _kill_ me.'  
  
"You already know about the payments I trust."  
  
"Yeah, old hippie-I'm mean-DUMBLEDORE told us," Draco said almost mockingly, he earned a nudge in the ribs from Harry. "Ouch! Bastard!" he hit him back.  
  
"Boys! Please! We're trying to make this as easy as possible for everyone's sanity," Annabelle said pleadingly.  
  
"Oh sorry, my sanity was buried six feet underground yesterday," the Slytherin said cheerfully. Harry's glare suddenly looked startled and he backed away like he had before.  
  
Mrs. Honeydukes glanced at her husband then found her voice again. "Uh...follow me I'll show you to your working spots."  
  
They followed her to the back of the counter where they went through a door and down the stairs to the basement. There were candles flickering lazily as they floated in the air. Harry looked a bit confused because he didn't remember seeing them the last time he had been there when he came through the secret passage.  
  
"Here are your uniforms, well they're aprons really," Annabelle laughed a little before pointing towards two hooks on the wall near the stairs. Harry and Draco's names were over each hook indicating which one belonged to whom.  
  
The two teens picked up the aprons, the blond frowned at it slightly, it had Honeydukes' logo written cross the top.  
  
"Today you'll just move the boxes in order for us to walk around and keep things organized," Mrs. Honeydukes said motioning towards the wooden crates scattered all over the place.  
  
"Why didn't you do it? Ow!" Draco glared at Harry for stepping on his foot; the raven head merely stuck his tongue out at him and missed the slight blush that appeared on the blonds face. 'Don't think dirty thoughts Draco, PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER DAMNIT!'  
  
"We were planning on doing that but we were too busy with the customers and the mixed orders from Zonkos," the older lady shrugged.  
  
"So you get their stuff and they get yours?" Harry asked.  
  
"Yep," there was the tinkle of a bell and opening then shutting of a door, loud arguing voices of Hank and another man could be heard, "oh dear, that'll be Franklin, why don't you begin your work while I try to sort things out." She muttered a few other things under breath as she walked up the stairs.  
  
The Golden Boy and Ice Prince pulled on their aprons/uniforms and looked at the numerous boxes of sweets half heartedly.  
  
"This is your entire fault," Harry muttered as he walked to the boxes.  
  
"My fault?" Draco nearly burst, "you started the fucking fight!"  
  
"So what? You could have just ignored me," he lifted a crate with clenched teeth because of the weight and put it on top of another one. "Jeeze! They're heavy!"  
  
Draco sat down on a box and watched amusedly as Harry kept moving the wooden crates around. 'Why DIDN'T I ignore him that day?'  
  
'Dunno, maybe you were nuts before I even started talking to you. You're one weird cat.'  
  
'You are such an ITCH!'  
  
'Mwahahahaha! Well aren't you gonna get to doing Pansy's plan?'  
  
'In a minute. I need to stare a little more.'  
  
'Fangirl, that's what you are.'  
  
'FanBOY.'  
  
'........AHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!! Yep! You were definitely crazy before I even got to you!'  
  
'Oh well.'  
  
Harry noticed the staring and felt uncomfortable. He looked over to the Slytherin and started fuming. "MALFOY!"  
  
"What?"  
  
"GET YOUR LAZY ASS UP!"  
  
"You work today and I'll work tomorrow."  
  
"Hell no, get your fancy ass over here and help me!"  
  
The blond looked rather taken aback at the term 'fancy ass' but stood up anyway, sulking a little. He took out his wand and pointed it to a crate. "Leviosa," he drawled. Nothing happened. "Leviosa!" Still nothing, Draco looked from the crate to his wand with intense horror.  
  
"We can't use magic."  
  
"Why didn't you tell me!?"  
  
"Because I just found out now so ñeeeee," he stuck his tongue out again. Draco blushed lightly and tried to push images out of his head.  
  
"That just proves that you were dumb enough not to think of using magic in the first place!"  
  
"Whatever, at least I didn't embarrass myself with saying the spell over and over-"  
  
"Shut up!" to his surprise Harry laughed then returned to the crates. 'Well, I guess Pansy was right,' he felt a smirk crawl across his face then turned to the pile of crates.  
  
-Hours pass-  
  
Both boys were now breathing a bit heavily at moving so many boxes yet making little progress even though their bosses told them they were making good progress.  
  
"Fucking hell!" Draco shouted angrily, "this is slave labor I tell you! Slave labor!!!"  
  
"Shut the hell up!" the raven head wiped a few beads of sweat from his forehead and turned to another crate. They seemed to be getting heavier every time they lifted another one.  
  
"I need fuel," the blond lifted the lid from a random box and grabbed a pack of sugar quills.  
  
"Draco no!"  
  
He stopped in mid air with tip of the quill close to his mouth. "Did you just call me by my first name?"  
  
"I did? Oh well-we're not supposed to steal any candy!" he took the sugar quills away from the Slytherin and put them back in the box. Draco pouted but closed the box before banging his head on it. "Stop! Jesus Christ you insane idiot!"  
  
He stopped with his head still lying on the box and sighed. "This is the most outrageous punishment I've ever had," he said, his voice muffled against the surface of the box.  
  
"Dumbledore's gone all hippie what else did you expect?" the Gryffindor turned back to the crate he was about to get before stopping the Slytherin.  
  
"A pile of money."  
  
"You're already filthy stinking rich, why do you need more money?"  
  
"I said it at random."  
  
"Whatever."  
  
Draco sighed again and lifted a crate. "Oomph! Oh shit," he said through clenched teeth, barely breathing. The box was very heavy, there were whirring sounds inside and he stumbled backwards. "Shit, shit, shit!"  
  
"Whoa hey, wait stop-STOP! No, no, no, no, NO!" Harry tried to back away as the blond stumbled dangerously closer. He felt the cool wall hit his back and he tried to slide away quickly.  
  
"SHIIIIT!!!!" the box steered over sending the blond backwards and hitting his back against the wall of crates. The box fell loudly on the floor and Draco slid to the floor, all pooped out, the poor boy. "Too heavy," he managed to breathe out.  
  
Harry looked at the crate; it looked different from the other ones. It had the word Fragile written on all the sides and the word Zonkos written as well. "It's not for Honeydukes."  
  
"That was pointless! I didn't even read what it fucking said! Ow I think I over used my arms, ow my back ow, ow, ow," he reached a hand to his back, arching slightly before leaning over making a few cricking sounds, the blond sighed in relief, "ooh that felt better."  
  
Harry tried hard to not blush or get hard. He took a few steps back and sat on the evil heavy crate. 'Why is it so hot down here?' he thought absently as he watched Draco stretching his back.  
  
"It's too hot here," the boy said as if hearing Harry's thoughts, he instantly took off the apron and both of his shirts. The raven head blushed brightly as he found his eyes wander around the blonds exposed pale skin. Well toned muscles, slightly sweaty, begging to be touched.  
  
'Crud,' he was getting hard as dirty visions started rushing through his head, 'get your head out of the gutter _NOW!_' he quickly stood up and walked away hiding behind a few piled up boxes.  
  
Draco watched him go, noticing the slight bulge growing in the other boys' pants. He grinned and was about to go over to him but was interrupted with the door opening and Annabelle walking down to them. 'God why? WHY!?' he thought angrily, cursing at her intrusion.  
  
"Ok, your shift is done-Mr. Malfoy put your shirt-shirts back on please!"  
  
He glared at her but put on both of his shirts, he stood up holding the apron.  
  
"Mr. Potter what are you doing over there?"  
  
"Huh? Oh! I got tired," he was blushing harder.  
  
"Oh, well then, you've done a great improvement, and you both haven't torn each other apart so no deduction today. Same time tomorrow boys."  
  
"When do we get paid?" the blond asked as he hung up his apron.  
  
"Next week."  
  
"What else do we do when we're done with the crates?" Harry asked as he braved himself to hang his own apron next to Draco.  
  
"Oh it won't be finished; orders come in everyday so until your promoted it's just moving crates."  
  
Both looked like Quidditch would be canceled forever.

"Ok then, what's with the zero magic here?" Draco asked.

"The person who owned this place before us used some kind of deflecting spell to push away any magic down here, well just in this basement."

"Life sucks," Harry sighed.

* * *

"So how'd it go?" Ron asked as Harry stumbled in the common room.  
  
"Like hell....I think I'm gay."  
  
There was a small silence before Hermione giggled. "Harry you ARE gay. Where's my gum balls"

* * *

"So?" Pansy nearly jumped off the sofa when she saw Draco enter the common room. "Find out anything?"  
  
"You were right," he collapsed on the couch nearly squashing the girl, "he was getting hard when he saw me take off my shirt."  
  
"Who wouldn't? Ok so now it's time to move on to step two!"  
  
"Oh sorry I already did that."  
  
"Uh what?"  
  
"When we were on our way to Hogsmeade, he seemed shocked but I guess he was trying to ignore it."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"He showed me what a cd player is though."  
  
She cocked her head to the side curiously. "CD player?"  
  
"Muggle device that plays the oddest music in the world."  
  
"Ah."  
  
Blaise sat down on a separate couch, completely out of it. His two friends stared at him a bit blankly. "What happened to you?" Draco almost laughed.  
  
"Busy day. Studies, library, Quidditch practice, Colin, the usual."  
  
"......I didn't need to hear that last part."  
  
"Oh well, too bad for you."  
  
"Anyway, I guess we'll just have to skip to step three," sighed the Slytherinette.  
  
"How many steps are there?" Blaise asked curiously.  
  
"About as much to get Harry and Draco together."  
  
"Oooh I almost forgot about that. How was work?" he said lazily as he lay on the couch as if it were the beach.  
  
"Slave labor," the blond hissed, "horrible ugly slave labor!"

* * *

Was it funnier? Oh well, review please!" 


	6. Day Two

* * *

Disclaimer: (still crying) I don't own Harry Potter!!!!  
  
OMG thanks for the reviews!!!

**afichika**: lol yeah I figured they wouldn't know a clue about muggles lol

**Shinigami's Kiss**: he is proud to by a fanboy!!! LOL

**athena321**: I just put random things together that's how I update quickly lol HURRY WITH THE NEXT CHAPPY PLEASE!

**Inylan**: ah yes, trust company (starry eyed)

**Isis-mystic**: anything I want? (grabs everything including the bloodflavored lollipops)

**Nichole08**: thank you! here's the new chapter!

**trickymidnightdreamer**: just updated lol

**Lena18**: its original! WOOHOO!

**Lillei**: this chappy's not very long, i think, oh well

**Eternal Spark**: lol Drakie sugar bums, well there's something in this chapter that has to do with his bum

**HOnEySky**: step three right here! Maybe you'll be the first reviewer now (shrugs) sorry you couldn't be the first one in the last few ones

**Lyndsay-Marie**: lol, more hippies coming our way! AHHH! lol

**Xandriya**: hope the ending's enough action for now

**hopelessromantic2006**: heehee, I'm beginning to hate myself for letting Mrs. Honeydukes interupt (sweatdrop)

**Shadow Psi**: yep, lol

**JesPaiTha**: lol thank you! the idea of him falling off his chair already made me fall off my own! I felt perverted when I wrote chappy two (looks sheepish) lol happy stick

**From Heavan to Hell and Back**: oh fuck! I'm always doing these things! Sorry, yeah I got it from Paradise Kiss, I forgot to credit it at the ending of the chapter, fuck I'm so stupid! (slaps her forehead numerous times) I'm not gonna get in trouble for that am I?

**Kikirini-chan**: here's the update! (wonders what consequences would have been)

**Swiftrunner**: Happy belated birthday! 2 exams? ouch

**sexAy-iranian23**: ok I'll do that, soz you got confusled!

**thedarkside45**: lol thank you!

**DraculUnknown**: Dunno, maybe Harry IS going insane lol

**Al**: thank you!

ok if anyone hasn't read Paradise Kiss (Jp comic book thing) then go read it! Tis good! And that line that Draco thought in the last chapter was from the book!

'blah' = Harry's thoughts

_'blah'_ = Draco's thoughts

**_'blah'_ = **Draco's inner voice thoughts

* * *

Chapter Six: Day Two

* * *

"That should be enough," Hermione said as she dumped a bunch of sickles on Harry's lap the next morning.  
  
"Enough? I could buy the whole thing and I'd still have money left over!" the raven head exclaimed.  
  
"So? That's the idea dumbass," she said cheerfully before opening a Tranfiguration book.  
  
Ron moved his seat a bit away from Hermione nervously. "Uh, right, yesterday you said you thought you were gay, why?"  
  
"Because he is," the bushy haired girl said absently earning a frown from Harry.  
  
"Well?"  
  
The Gryffindor sighed and put down his buttered toast. "It's nothing really, just that Malfoy's acting really weird lately."  
  
"How?"  
  
"We were civil yesterday, all we did was move crates and we didn't fight."  
  
To his surprise Ron put his hands together as if in prayer, and said a mute thank you to the ceiling.  
  
"It's about time you've gotten to be civil," Hermione said, still reading her book, "ouchies! Damn! Fucking hell!" she yelled as she gripped her finger.  
  
"What's wrong with you?" Harry went back to eating his toast.  
  
"Paper cut," she said waterly, "owyyyyy!"  
  
Once again Ron moved his seat farther away from the girl.

* * *

"It's torture," Draco kept ranting on, "I mean there isn't even a lunch break, and that basement! UGH! It's damp sweaty! I don't understand how-"  
  
"Draco, babe," Pansy cut through like some kind of movie agent, "you just have to put up with it for a few days, once the plan will be finished, it'll be worth it."  
  
"I like to see you try to lift heavy crates around."  
  
"I'm too lazy for that. Anyway, you will not believe what you missed yesterday."  
  
"...What?" he looked at his friend uncertainly.  
  
"Old spectacles over there," she nodded her head towards the staff table where Dumbledore sat, "got a bunch of students to read that documentary from the seventies, he actually got them turned into hippies!"  
  
"What's a hippie?"  
  
She sighed as if she had been explaining things over again. "They were from the sixties or seventies, I'm not really sure, probably the sixties, but anyway. A hippie is a freedom fighter/peacemaker. That uh craze started because of the wars and stuff. Honestly Draco, when will you ever attend Muggle Studies."  
  
"When I find the interest," he replied dully. He looked around the great hall and realized there was something different. A few students from Ravenclaw were dressed almost like Dumbledore, some even had on sandals. Half of the Hufflepuffs were in the same state; the blond blinked and shook his head to be sure he wasn't imagining things when some gave him peace signs. No one from Gryffindor were hippies, yet.  
  
"Oh my bloody god," he breathed, "I'm stuck in a loony home!"  
  
"You should hear them when they talk," Pansy laughed a little, "they sound like they're speaking riddles it's hilarious."  
  
"Hello my favorite people," Blaise said as he plopped on a chair next to Blaise. "How's vida?"  
  
"What?" Draco looked at his friend, afraid he turned into a hippie too.  
  
"How's life, you know, vida=life."  
  
"So far, just horny, I had a wet dream so naturally I got hard which meant that I had to wank off-"  
  
A Slytherin first year spit out her pumpkin juice and nearly choked.  
  
"Excuse me, why were you listening?"  
  
"I wasn't listening! All I heard was 'I had to wank off'!"  
  
"That would require listening."  
  
"Whatever."

* * *

"I'm _so_ sorry dears," Annabelle looked completely embarrassed, "I can't believe I forgot!" she gave the two Hogwarts boys a schedule sheet, "I was supposed to give you that yesterday but I must have forgotten because of Franklin coming over."  
  
Draco looked at the sheet it said the time of when lunch break would come and when the day would begin and be over. It took everything in his power to keep him from exploding.  
  
"Thanks, now I don't have to worry over starving," shrugged Harry, also trying not to explode.  
  
"I'm really sorry boys."  
  
"So it'll be the same today? Moving the boxes?"  
  
"Not really, you'll have to help us move around the Zonkos things, we'll leave them out on the doorstep, Hank will come over with the our stuff and we bring them downstairs."  
  
"Oh, ok then," Harry seemed to be relieved to be doing something more than just making room in the basement.  
  
"Why are we getting mixed orders?" Draco asked, trying to stall time.  
  
"Some prankster's doing it," Annabelle sighed, "he's been doing it to other stores."  
  
"Oh well why-"  
  
"Come on Malfoy."  
  
"But-"  
  
"The faster we get it over with the easier it'll be to make space downstairs."  
  
He sighed in defeat, much to everyone's surprise, and followed the raven head downstairs.  
  
"I hate you."  
  
"I love you too."  
  
The blond was about to say 'really?' but realized the other boy was just being sarcastic. He sent him a sneer and lifted a Zonkos box. "Fuck! It's heavy!" he managed to say, stumbling a little.  
  
"Not again," sighed Harry, "hang on," he grabbed the other half of the box; Draco sighed in relief as half of the weight was lifted off of him. They carefully walked up the stairs and left the box outside on the doorstep before returning back to the basement.  
  
"We're being civil again? Is apocalypse coming already?" Harry said lightly as he and Draco lifted another box.  
  
"Who gives a _fuck?_ At least things are going by faster."  
  
"True," they walked up the stairs with the box, "but it's still scary."  
  
"So? Life's like that," they dropped the box on the door step and picked up the Honeydukes boxes that were recently put there, they were smaller and lighter so they didn't have to hold one together.  
  
"Too many scary things are happening now," Harry shook his head, "and I thought Voldemort was supposed to be scary."  
  
"What are you talking about?"  
  
"Dumbledore's turned into a hippie, we're not fighting, Hermione's becoming obsessed with those new gum balls, Colin's with Blaise."  
  
"And people are turning into those hippies, funny year, this is," he laughed lightly and because of that he lost his footing on the stairs and fell, "oomph! OW! ACK! EEK!" he went all the way down as his bum hit every step like some human bouncing ball while still holding the crate. Harry's face kept contorting with pain in every hit.  
  
SNAP! Once Draco hit the bottom step it broke in two. The raven head couldn't help but burst out laughing hard.  
  
"Aw fuck my arse!" the blond said painfully as he gently caressed his very sore bottom, "pain, oh pain!"  
  
"Oh my goodness, Mr. Malfoy are you alright?" Annabelle rushed and nearly tripped on the broken bottom step.  
  
"My arse is in crucial pain what do you expect!"  
  
"Come on," she moved the box he was still holding and helped him stand up. "Sit down for a while," she helped him sit on a crate.  
  
Harry, who was still laughing, had to rest his head on the wall with an arm as a pillow between the wall and his forehead. Annabelle rushed upstairs to help Hank unload his truck (do wizards have them?) of all the Honeydukes boxes.  
  
"Oh laugh all you want," Draco said nastily to the laughing raven head. "Big ass laugh!"  
  
"That was hahahaha!!! Just too fucking fu-ha-nny!" the Gryffindor managed to say; "you truly _are_ the bouncing ferret!" he fell to the floor crying in laughter.  
  
Draco blushed lightly at the memory of fourth year. He frowned and gritted his teeth as fury started to build up inside him.  
  
_'**THE PLAN THE PLAN!!!!!!! YOU FUCKING UNEDUCATED BRAT!!!!'**_  
  
_'Uneducated!? I'll have you know that I've-'_  
  
**_'Yeah sure fine whatever just don't hurt the guy! Remember the blasted plan!'  
_**  
He calmed down and watched the still laughing Harry. The pain in his ass was starting to ebb away and he was pretty sure he'd get a bruise. _'Crud.'_  
  
**_'Poor little Dragon'  
_**  
_'Shut up.'  
_  
**_'My boy, you're insane, I'll never shut up.'_  
**  
Harry was still shaking in laughter when lunch break arrived but at least he wasn't laughing so loud that the underworld could hear him.

* * *

"Mwahahaha! Mwahahahahahahaaa!" cackled Pansy as she rubbed her hands together.  
  
"Shut your trap woman! I'm getting a headache!" bellowed Blaise as he covered his ears.  
  
"Oh sorry," she giggled, "I couldn't help it, anyway, step three should be coming around sometime soon," she looked down at the bowl on the table. It had a sheet of glass as a lid, securing the silver liquid inside. The bowl seemed to play like a TV, only it showed where Draco and Harry were.  
  
"What's step three?"  
  
"You'll see."  
  
"Why are you so intent on getting them together?"  
  
"Because they're hot and nearly everyone in this school alone wants them together."  
  
"Oh," he looked down at his watch, "They'd better hurry I have a half hour left."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"I'm going to see Colin."  
  
"Oh, so how goes the relationship?"  
  
"All good, we're still gonna keep it a secret though."  
  
"Oh right, your dad?"  
  
"Hell yeah! And besides, we like having to keep things secret."  
  
"Ah."  
  
"Oh look, they're back to working."  
  
"Heheh, sit back and watch the show ma friend!"

* * *

'Wow these are good,' Harry thought as he chewed on one of the gum balls Hermione was begging him to buy. Upon the first bite he felt the cherry filling fill his mouth, he was still chewing on the gum and the flavor still hadn't left. 'Shit this is good enough lunch for me any day.'  
  
He walked downstairs, ready to carry another box upstairs. Draco was still on the same box but had a few sweets on his lap, most already consumed.  
  
"Your butt can't still be sore can it?"  
  
"I fell down what felt like an eternity of steps of course my arse still hurts."  
  
"You shouldn't have laughed then."  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
"Yeah, you were laughing, that's what caused you to fall."  
  
"I lost my footing!" he nearly yelled indignantly.  
  
"Well you should have watched where you were going," he received the finger, "oh that's smart."  
  
"Fuck off, let me be with my pain."  
  
"You have to help me you fag!"  
  
"Oh like you're not one either."  
  
"I'm-wait, you're gay?"  
  
"Huh?" he was caught off guard, "no!" too late, he hesitated.  
  
"Right sure, HA! Ginny owes me a galleon!"  
  
"You're going to steal the last piece of money she has?"  
  
"Shows what you know, she has a job too so she's got plenty of cash."  
  
"And what's her job? Begging?"  
  
"No," Draco gawked at him for not fuming, "bartender every Saturday at the Three Broomsticks. She started a few weeks ago."  
  
"Bartender? Weird."  
  
Harry nodded as he attempted to blow a big bubble with his gum, once it grew the size of half his head it popped, he pulled it back in his mouth and attempted again.  
  
"Let me have a piece of gum."  
  
The Gryffindor shook his head after the second bubble popped, "Hermione will kill me."  
  
"Please?"  
  
"It's just gum."  
  
"Exactly."  
  
"No."  
  
"Fine," the Golden Boy looked at the smirking Slytherin uneasily, "I'll have to get some myself."  
  
Harry stepped aside thinking that the blond was going to go up the stairs. He paled slightly when the boy walked to him instead. He kept backing away until his back unhappily touched the wall of crates.  
  
"Hey if you want money I don't have anymore left."  
  
"I want gum, not money," there was a glint in his eyes and Harry started to get a little afraid.  
  
"Y-you could take some from one of the boxes."  
  
"We're not aloud to steal any candy," he grinned, still coming closer, their bodies pressed together slightly, "I have no money to buy it, I can't steal it, you won't give me some so I'll have to get it myself."  
  
Harrys' eyes widened when their lips met, he couldn't believe how soft Dracos' lips were, he tried as hard as he could not to melt into the sudden kiss. He gasped when the other boys' tongue licked his bottom lip. Draco took his chance and slid his tongue in the raven heads mouth, exploring it before taking what he wanted.  
  
'He-I-what-oh fuck!' even in his thoughts he was stuttering. Their kiss ended and Draco grinned cheekily at him before he blew a bubble. Harry's eyes were still wide in shock; he slid down the wall, hands over his mouth.  
  
_'Heheh, I always get what I want,'_ the blond smirked and turned, nearly hitting himself against the support beam. _'Haha! I didn't get hurt again!_ He turned to the crates and tripped out of no where.

* * *

Review please!!! 


	7. Unexpected Storm

Disclaimer: nope, I don't own Harry Potter sadly.........hey I stopped crying!

OMFG THANKS FOR THE REVIEWS!

**afichicka**: lol thanks!

**athena321**: Dunno how long Pansy will watch, she'll probably give them some privacy. Soz you got writers block, that sux! You've got one more day and I've got my weapons ready if you don't update! lol

**Lea**: thanks!

**Nichole08**: update...NOW!

**Robin the bird**: THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN LAST CHAPPYS TITLE! Draco the Accident Pro!

**Inylan**: the idea just popped in lol

**Eternal Spark**: your review was very intertaining lol I sound like an adult! I had _fun_ reading your review lol

**sexAy-iranian23**: thanks and your welcome!

**hopelessromantic2006**: yay! (dances horribly) lol, there won't be much action in this here chappy sadly.

**Kikirini-chan**: (looks at weapons fearfully) HERE'S THE UPDATE!!! lol

**Falco Zanbandia of Nightmares**: he gets hurt again lol, yeah it'd be fun to be in the story, CURSE REALITY!

**Legolas Sundance**: Modern humor? COOL! The action will come in the next action though.

**Sakura Harusame**: really? 'Cause neither did I, my crazy side took over at the time lol

**HOnEySky**: I gawked when you said 14th reviewer and went 'damn! that many!' glad you're not mad about it though (smiles and jumps for no reason)

**Shui-Wing0**: lol thank ya!

**Isis-mystic**: trying to get gum that way would be lots of fun, lol

**Lunadeath**: oh, so muggle radios/cd players would work there too? Oopsy...again

**The future Mrs. Ja rule**: (gawk) wooow long 'hahhaha's was it really that funny? YAY!

**Lyndsay-Marie**: I wonder if Harry will get dominate....hmm....

**thedarkside45**: yay! thank you!!

Man I can't believe all the feedback I'm getting for this (sniff, takes out tissue and blows nose) thanks guys!

Not much action for now though, next chappy, lots!

* * *

Chapter Seven: Unexpected Storm

* * *

Weeks passed by and Draco didn't repeat the stunt he did that day to Harry. So far they still hadn't fought which was something that they were both getting used to. The prankster was still on the prowl because the Honeydukes and Zonkos orders kept getting switched. Since the two teens were so civil with each other they made a silent vow to just call each other by their first names, now! Onto today!  
  
Hermione sighed happily as she chewed on her gum and proceeded to blow a bubble, which Ron popped.  
  
"HEY! I was trying to make it really big!" she complained childishly and she recovered the remnants of her gum back in her mouth.  
  
"You've been chewing on those gumballs all week," the redhead whined, "and you _never_ share!"  
  
"So?" she blew another bubble and moved away from the boys' finger. It popped again, "it's really good, addicting too."  
  
The Gryffindor sighed and banged his head against his chess board. "I can't wait until Harry comes back, I'm bored."  
  
"Suck on your own dick then," shrugged the brunette.  
  
"Wha-EW! GAG! YUCK!!!" Ron pulled a face and shrank away from his friend. "What you on!? Drugs!?"  
  
"Yep, this is my drug," Hermione grinned as she pointed to her gum. The redhead sighed and returned to banging his head on the chessboard. A clap of thunder made him jump slightly. The two Gryffindors looked at the window with surprise as heavy raindrops the size of eggs (ok maybe not), hit like bullets against the windows.  
  
"Where did that come from?" blinked Ron, standing up. The window burst open and a strong wind blew in with the rain nearly sending Ron back on his seat.  
  
Hermione quickly took out her wand and said a spell, the redhead barely heard her through the noisy wind and rain. The window instantly closed sending a relief of warmth back to Ron once the wind was cut off.  
  
"Holy shit," breathed the Gryffindorette, "I don't think Harry will be able to get back here through that."  
  
"Oh great, now I'm stuck with you," Ron banged his head on his chessboard again.  
  
"Don't worry; we're going to have lots of fun!" Hermione said cheerfully.  
  
"I'm afraid...I'm very afraid."

* * *

"I'm trusting you with the store, alright, I'll be back as soon as I can," said Annabelle as she put on her cloak.  
  
"Don't worry, it looks like it'll rain so I bet no one will come over to buy something," shrugged Harry.  
  
"Well, okay, I still can't believe Hank broke his leg at Zonkos," she muttered before disapparating.  
  
Harry sighed and sat on a chair behind the counter, his legs crossed on the counter. He grabbed a sugar quill and sucked on the tip.  
  
"She left?" Draco asked, coming up from the basement. Harry nodded. "CANDY TIME!" he shouted grabbing as much sweets he could before piling them on the counter.  
  
"Hm, plan on buying sir?"  
  
"No, I plan on eating it all," he grinned, popping a gumball in his mouth.  
  
"Ah, so sir, the idea of Azkaban doesn't scare you?"  
  
"Not at all because Azkaban wouldn't arrest a shop lifter, especially if he's a teenager."  
  
_ "Riiight."  
_  
Thunder screamed through the sky followed by heavy drops of water, hitting the windows and walls like bombs.  
  
"HA! What did I say? I DID rain!"  
  
"Nice going weather boy, now how do we get to Hogwarts without getting soaked?"  
  
"Deflecting spell?"  
  
"Wind?"  
  
"Warming spell?"  
  
"How will we see the school? I can barely see the store in front of this one and the storm just started."  
  
"Uh...eat a lot of carrots?"  
  
Draco sighed. "We're stuck here! Alone, with no adults...PARTY!!!"  
  
"With who? There's nobody here but you and me!"  
  
"Oh. Well lets just pig out on candy for now."  
  
"I don't want-" he was interrupted but the sound of muttering from the basement, "did you hear that?"  
  
"Hear what?" he blew a bubble.  
  
"That noise, Draco, someone's in here," he whispered fearfully making the blond tremble. He burst out laughing making the Slytherin furious.  
  
"YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!"  
  
"But really, someone's here," he took out his wand and opened the back door, it was dark downstairs, the candles had blown out. "Lumos," the tip of his wand lit up. He and Draco walked down the stairs.  
  
The sound of the creaking steps echoed off the walls making everything seem scary. Draco held onto Harry's arm in fear. "If you tell anyone I was afraid I'll rip your dick off."  
  
"And what? Use it as a dildo?"  
  
"I'd rather have it attached to you for that."  
  
"Right you......is there something you need to tell me-what was that?" he saw a shadow back away, he pointed his wand at it but the light only revealed a crate.  
  
"Fuck, I'm getting too scared now," his grip on Harrys' arm tightened.  
  
They reached the fixed bottom step and kept close as they looked around the basement. Nothing was found.  
  
"Maybe it was a rat," Draco suggested.  
  
"How could a rat speak, or mutter for that matter?"  
  
"I'm out of here," he turned around and bumped into someone, "oh so- so-so..." his voice left him as he looked up at a very tall man.  
  
Draco weakly raised his wand at him.  
  
"Why are you stuttering?" Harry turned and paled when he saw the man.  
  
_**'Shiiiiit! That is one uuuugly man!'  
**_  
_ 'Shut up and make my mind think of a spell!'  
_  
_**'Don't worry, he can't hurt you,'**_ the man raised his wand at them, **_'ok he can. RUN SHITHEAD RUN!'  
_**  
The blond let out a scream and ran out of the way only to slam his head on the support bream. He swayed and saw stars. "What da...beau'ful lil stars."  
  
"Stupefy!" Harry shouted stunning the man; he grabbed Draco's hand and pulled him past the falling body. Draco was barely moving at all. "DRACO MOVE YOUR FAT ASS!"  
  
He came back to his senses, "fat ass!?" Both shot up the stairs like no tomorrow and closed the door quickly, hitting it with as many locking charms they could think of.  
  
"Did you kill him!?"  
  
"No I stunned him."  
  
"WHY DIDN'T YOU KILL HIM!?"  
  
"Oh right like I know the killing curse!"  
  
"Then how the fuck did you kill Voldemort!?"  
  
"I used the levitating charm."  
  
"A levitation charm," he said dully.  
  
"Well you see it's levitates things-"  
  
"I know what it does! But I don't understand how that even KILLS!"  
  
"There were sharp objects around!"  
  
"This is great! I'm in a storm, with the Boy Who Just Won't Die and some crazy lunatic in the basement! I'm out of here," he stampeded towards the door.  
  
There was snap/cracking sound from outside. Both boys' looked out the window and watched in horror as half of a tree broke off due to lightening, and fell to the ground blocking the door.  
  
"NO!!!" the Slytherin shouted as he tried to open the door, it wouldn't budge even when he used as many spells he could think of.  
  
"Holy fuck," breathed Harry.  
  
"...WE'RE GONNA DIE!!!"  
  
"At least we have food."  
  
"FOOD!? That's the least of my worries! What about the killer in the basement huh!?"  
  
"He probably isn't one."  
  
"Probably!? He had his fucking wand pointed to us! Are you bloody blind!?"  
  
"Hey! Aw man...ow...I ain't no killer...ah! Ouch jeeze!"  
  
The two stepped back with a jolt as the man apparated before them, rubbing the back of his neck in pain. They quickly raised their wands at him.  
  
"WHOA! Hey! Don' stun me again! I said I ain't no goddamn killer!"  
  
"Then why'd you point your wand to us?" Harry asked.  
  
"Well wha' would you do if you had a wand pointed to yeh? I was jus' defenden me'self! Besides; I just came for some food."  
  
"In a candy store?" Draco asked shakily.  
  
"Wha? You expec' me to go to some fancy ass restaurant? Give me a break I'm poor as fuck!"  
  
"Oh," Harry lowered his wand, "sorry sir."  
  
"Sir? No kid I ain't no _sir_, the name's Getcher," he straightened up seeming close to maybe seven feet. "Hey, is it okay if I don't pay? 'Cause I really don' got no cash," he emptied all of his pockets and Harry could have sworn he saw a moth fly out.  
  
"Uh, yeah, sure, go ahead."  
  
The man quickly pocketed as many sweets as he could get inside the endless count of pockets in his shabby old cloak.  
  
"Well, thank you good sirs!" he saluted to them, "now I won't starve, for now heh. Now if ya may, I'll just be on ma way!" he disapparated leaving the two teens stunned.  
  
"This event, never happened," Draco managed to say. Harry merely nodded.  
  
"Holy..." the shop was nearly empty of all sweets. Harry scratched his head, "reload?"  
  
"Yes please," they dashed to the basement.

* * *

Pansy tapped the bowl with her wand, frowning in confusion. "That's weird."  
  
"AW AND IT WAS GETTING GOOD TOO!" Blaise whined as he sat back on his chair. "Why'd it go black like that?"  
  
"I don't know, must have been the storms interference," she kept tapping the bowl. "They were tricked."  
  
"Tricked?"  
  
"Harry and Draco, they were tricked by that Getcher person."  
  
"I know, he took nearly everything from the shop that was hilarious!"  
  
"That man can't be poor. If his cloak is that old and shabby then he'd look it too wouldn't he?"  
  
"Yeah, so?"  
  
"His teeth were clean and straight, and that dirt on his face looked fresh plus he doesn't look like he was starving at all!"  
  
"Oh. Oh well, shit happens."  
  
"Fucking hippie."  
  
"I AM NOT!"

* * *

Draco dragged a crate over to a barrel; he opened the lid and dumped in Berty Botts Every Flavored Beans inside the barrel. "You wanna know what really stinks? You were promoted to the cash register and I wasn't, I swear I was about to owl my father!"  
  
"Why? Because you weren't near the money? You barely worked in the basement that's why you weren't promoted."  
  
"Ugh, like I need to work like a slave, I'm Draco Malfoy, I'm not meant to be a slave!"  
  
"Too bad for you," he refilled the jars with gum balls. "Jealous Ferret."  
  
"I heard that!"  
  
"So?"  
  
"Anyway, do you really think my ass is fat?" he tried to look at his bum.  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
"When we were running up the stairs, you said 'Draco move your fat ass!' So is it fat?"  
  
"No it's fine, too fine actually," he realized was he said and nearly gawked in shock, "forget you heard that."  
  
Draco smirked. "Why? I'm flattered!"  
  
"Shut up."  
  
"Harry Potter likes my ass! Oh what news!" he said in a high pitched voice with his hands together as he batted his eyelashes. He received a jelly slug smacking his face. "What the fuck!?"  
  
"Haha! You deserved it!" Harry said almost nastily, biting into his own jelly slug, "If I eat too much of these I'm gonna have slugs growing out of my own stomach-OW! THAT HURT YOU SKINNY SHIT!" he caressed his shoulder after a chocolate bar hit him.  
  
"So?" the blond laughed, "ACK!" he shielded himself with his arms as gumballs came flying towards him, it barely hurt though, "oh you want to play it that way huh?" he grabbed Berty Botts box, tore it open and threw the jelly beans at the other boy.  
  
"Bring it on fancy pants!"  
  
It turned into an all out war. Candy fillings smearing everything; chocolates, gumballs and lollipops acting as bombs, grenades and bullets. Draco used two barrels as his barrier and Harry used the counter as his own.  
  
"So it comes to this," Harry whispered dramatically to himself as he held his trusty jelly slugs in both hands, "I am at my last ammo and will brave myself at this last battle with one Draco Malfoy," he jumped over his barrier "TO GRYFFINDOOOOR!!!!"  
  
Draco jumped on the barrels with Cockroach Clusters in his hands. "TO SLYTHERIIIIIIIIIIIIIN!!!!"  
  
Harry fell to the floor laughing his ass off. Who could blame him? Draco had his shirt tied around his head.  
  
"Oh SHIT!" the raven head laughed. "Ferret boy, you're nuts!"  
  
"Nuts for nuts!" he was half glad Harry barely heard him, _'fuck! Even when he's laughing he's hot!'  
_  
_**'True, oh so bloody true.'**_  
  
"THE SLYTHERIN PRINCE HAS WON!!!" he bombarded the Golden boy with the Cockroach Cluster.  
  
"Evil," Harry managed to say, weakly throwing his jelly slugs at the enemy. "Making me laugh like that!"  
  
"Yep, moi is a genius," he patted the shirt on his head then looked around the shop. "Our shift must be over by now."  
  
Harry nodded calming down and sitting up. Now that he done with all his laughing he found himself staring the other boys' exposed torso for the second time in his life.  
  
The lighting on the rain shaded the boy perfectly, almost hiding the muscles yet detailing them at the same time; The Gryffindor found himself getting hard. 'Man I'd give anything to suck on those-'  
  
"Hey Pansy? You can get us out of here right?"  
  
Harry blinked and tried to calm his happy broomstick, "I'm not Pansy."  
  
"No duh, Pansy! I know you're there, quit playing around."  
  
The raven head looked around, the Slytherinette was no where to be found. He raised an eyebrow at the blond who looked a little worried.  
  
"PANSY! Come on don't scare me like this."  
  
He picked up a chocolate bar, unwrapped it and ate it.  
  
"Pansy? DAMN!"  
  
"Curses!" he played on, taking another bite.  
  
"Shut up."  
  
"Aww is ickle Drakie whaky mad at not contacting Pansy wansy?"  
  
"Yes, very."  
  
"Does Drakie whaky need a huggy wuggy?"  
  
"Not right now."  
  
"Why were you calling her?" he finished his chocolate and settled on chewing gum. "She's not even here."  
  
"Obviously, she's at Hogwarts."  
  
"Then why did you call her?"  
  
"We put a spell on each other so we could communicate at far distances."  
  
"Oh...why the walky talky?"  
  
"Walky wha-none of your business!"  
  
"Whatever," he shrugged, blowing a bubble.  
  
"Now we're stuck here until the storm's over."  
  
His bubble popped, "so? It should be over soon," he looked out the window; it was still pouring down hard.  
  
"Soon!? It's pouring hell out there!"  
  
"You know? I like you better when you were crazy, you worry too much."  
  
"Thoughts can make a man go mad."  
  
"I thought it would make them smarter."  
  
"No, it's just this obsession I've been having."  
  
"Of what? Insanity?"  
  
"No, just on a guy."  
  
"Oh, natural."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Well I had an obsession with Wood for like three years, that's why I wanted to win every game, so that he'd be happy."  
  
"Oh. Wait, you're gay?"  
  
"I thought we went over that already."  
  
"I thought you were joking!"  
  
"Nope," he blew another bubble, "'ey! Could you trip or accidentally hit your head on something? I need a laugh."  
  
"How could you think of that when we're stuck here!"  
  
"Stuck?"  
  
"Yeah, trapped like little mice! At least until the storm's over."  
  
"Oh, cool whatever."

* * *

ok, soz there was like zero action but I promise there'll be lots in the next chappy! (hint hint). 


	8. One Loco Chapter

Disclaimer: Don't own (looks very sad and pouts)

THANKS FOR THE REVIEWS!!!!!!!

**The future Mrs. Ja rule**: (blink blink) wow...so many 'hahahahas'...again...thanks!

**Inylan**: thank you! My action here sucks but I tried...

**Nichole08**: heehee I tried with the action, the opinion's left to you lol

**thedarkside45**: updating...now!

**Lillei**: dun dun dun! chappy here! lol

**Swiftrunner**: really? (gawks) WOOHOO! Yay! ok, calming down lol

**hopelessromantic2006**: yup Drakie has gone cookoo!

**Amanda Star**: wow really? cool! I should do more humor in future stories lol ack my action in this chappy sucks! Oh soz, I dunno if you got my email but it just fucked up and said there was and error (cries)

**DracoScrewer**: ah yes the candy fight, I couldn't resist it was stuck in my head to the point of driving me crazy lol

**xXxIce.PrincessxXx**: me sozzy, I forgot to say in the beginning of the last chapter!!! See my first upload of the chapter screwed up, I had twelve beautiful pages of the chappy but when it was uploaded (cries) TWO PAGES ONLY SURVIVED!!!! THE HORROR!!! (keeps crying) so I had to redo the next ten pages!! Ouch...I can still feel the pain in my fingers ouch...anyway, I can understand why you got lost because I was trying to recollect what I wrote in the last chappy so (shrugss) soz

**bastian blair**: yay! thank you!

**Eternal Spark**: Can there ever be a time when I won't have fun reading your reviews? Probably never, lol thanks!

**Psi**: um, I think you submited a review like three times....all hahahas like The future Mrs. Ja rule...scary lol thanks!

**Lyndsay-Marie**: soz if my um smut scene might not be good...I tried but oh well lol

**HOnEySky**: yeah they kinda scared me too lol

**sexAy-iranian23**: ack! Pitchfork!...what's a pitchfork?...oh wait...oooh....AHHH!!!! (runs) I tried the action but I'm not sure about the results...oh well

**Shui-Wing0**: yay you like me 'Mione and Drakie and Harry! lol

**Kikirini-chan**: a striptease from Draco and Harry? woohoo!!! lol Here's da update

**DraculUnknown**: dunno about the disapointment...but enjoy the show!

**Heather-Hezzer-and-Honaluki**: updated lol hahaha...weird laughing...weird...lol

**HpDeVoTeE**: He forgot I guess 'cause he was in the candy war with Draco, or becuse Draco was there, lol I just completely forgot about that lil trap door thing (hangs head) oopsy

**Isis-mystic**: heehee my bad, me forgot about the trapdoor

**magicalme32**: new post...here!

**Chang Wumei**: yay! glad you're liking the story so far!! (jumps around) lol, ouchies you almost cracky your ribs (blinks)

**KaylieAysel**: there's something behind the guy, Pansy's on it, she's the new um...Sherlock Holmes!...hmm....I'm getting an idea for a chappy lol

So anyways, um I guess the **warning** here should be that there's sex here...ah whatever, soz if you guys were waiting long but I was working on this book I wanna publish...yeah....onto ficcy!

'blah' = Harry's thoughts

_'blah' =_ Draco's thoughts

__

**_'blah' = _**Draco's inner thoughts

* * *

Chapter Eight: One Loco Chapter

* * *

Hermione blew a bubble, it popped, she recovered it and blew a bubble again which popped as well. Blaise and Pansy watched her blankly.  
  
"Are you gonna keep doing that?" Pansy asked, the girl nodded, "right then."  
  
"You're lucky, I had to put up with the snapping and blowing all fucking day," Ron said wretchedly, he looked it too because his hair was ruffled and there were faint dark circles under his eyes. "She wouldn't let me go to sleep, it was horrible."  
  
"I was very hyper. Why'd you bring us here anyway?" they were in the Great Hall, barely no one was there so they shared a table together.  
  
"Harry and Draco are trapped in Honeydukes," Pansy said plainly.  
  
"We know."  
  
"No really, there's a tree blocking the exit."  
  
"So? They can always get through the trap door in the basement."  
  
"Trap door?"  
  
"Yeah, there's a tunnel from here that leads to Honeydukes-ouch!" the brunette glared at the red head who nudged her in the ribs.  
  
"You're not supposed to tell anybody," he muttered angrily under his breath.  
  
"Too late, secrets out," Blaise sneakily grabbed a gumball from Hermione's pile on the table. Ron gawked at him while the Gryffindorette looked slightly offended.  
  
"Excuse me, you could have asked!"  
  
He shrugged and chewed. "You'd have said no."  
  
"Jackass."  
  
"Mop head."  
  
"Balls in your mouth."  
  
"Oh, thank you."  
  
"You guys!" Pansy caught their attention, "we're getting off the subject."  
  
"What was the subject?" Ron scratched his head lightly and earned a scary glare and twitch from the girl, "oh_ that_!"  
  
"Right," she folded her hands in a business manner, "when the storm's over they'll still be trapped. What do you suggest we do?"  
  
"Leave them there," shrugged Hermione.  
  
"What?"  
  
"I think they have a thing for each other-"  
  
"They do...oh! Brilliant! I completely forgot about that!"  
  
"Exactly."  
  
"Wha? What are you talking about?" the clueless Ron looked at both girls.  
  
"You wouldn't understand, it's just raging hormones," the bushy haired girl said dramatically.  
  
"Hey!" he said looking a bit hurt and confused. "I'm a teenager too, unless you haven't noticed. My hormones rage everyday-oh...oh god you girls are disgusting!"  
  
"Like I said, you wouldn't understand."  
  
"Well I guess the plan's over," Pansy shrugged.  
  
"Plan?"  
  
"Yeah, to get Harry to like Draco, of course we were just gonna make Harry SAY he liked our boy but now that the storms come," she gave dramatic sigh, "any future steps of me plan will never be played."  
  
"What were those steps?" Hermione eyed the other girl suspiciously.  
  
"Oh you know, get them together alone in a room with a BED so they can confess to each other and just shag but their already alone...in a store, with no BED!" she pouted before also snatching a gumball from Hermione's pile.  
  
"HEY!"

* * *

Harry sat on his chair with his feet up on the counter. He was lazily playing a harmonica he conjured up an hour ago. Draco lay on the wooden floor; he used his apron and shirt as a sort of beach blanket to lie on so he was still half naked. The store was still a mess; both teens were just too lazy to clean the store tsk tsk tsk.  
  
The storm was still raging as hard as before, it was creating small floods outside, but nothing too dangerous.  
  
"Hey," Draco cut through the raven head's music, "did you bring that cd player of yours?"  
  
"Nope, why do you think I'm playing the harmonica?"  
  
"Right, right...waaa! I wanna get out of here!"  
  
After a pause Harry slapped his forehead angrily. "I am such an IDIOT!"  
  
"So true."  
  
"Shut up," he got out of his chair and rushed down the basement with the blond staring after him in confusion.  
  
"What the BLOODY HELL are you doing?" he got up and went down as well.  
  
The raven head was pushing away a few crates. "We could have used the tunnel!"  
  
"What tunnel?" Harry lifted a trap door on the floor, _"oh!"_  
  
"Come on," he was about to go in then stopped in horror.  
  
"What?"  
  
"THAT SHITTY SMELLING CAT LOVING SICKO!!"  
  
Draco stood next to Harry and looked down the trap door, all he saw was an endless pit of darkness. He took out his wand and pointed to the hole, "lumos," the light didn't even reveal anything in the dark hole.  
  
"He took out the stairs!" the Gryffindor burst out angrily as he kicked the trapdoor shut.  
  
"Nox," he put his wand away and sighed, "well, at least we're not soaking outside and who the bloody fuck are you talking about?"  
  
"Filch! His unbathed deformed ass blocked out the last way for us to go back to Hogwarts!"  
  
"Oh..." realization hit him but he still wasn't angry, _'hm, well who COULD be mad if you're trapped alone with Harry?'  
_  
"UGH! This sucks beyond anything!" he stomped upstairs quickly followed by the blond.  
  
"Oh would you _just calm_ down!" he whined, closing the door, "at least you could be grateful that we're not out there," he pointed out the window.  
  
"I want my cd player," the Golden Boy pouted as he fiddled with his conjured harmonica.  
  
"Quit acting like a baby."  
  
"I am a baby see?" he started to suck his thumb and sat on his chair, his other arm hugging his knees as he rocked back and forth.  
  
"That's not being a baby, that's being insane."  
  
"Well you _are_ the professional," he looked up at the blond grinning.  
  
_'Oh my god is he sane right now?'_ the Slytherin thought blushing lightly at how the grin on the other boy made him sexy.  
  
"Uhm..." he tried to find his voice and control himself, "Y-yes! Of course I'm the professional!"  
  
**_'Aww, Drakie-Poo's gone all shy!'  
_**  
_'Am not!'  
_  
**_'Right, sure, whatever.'  
_**  
"Ok I'm not mad anymore...you ok? You look a little...emotionally disturbed..." Harry eyed him a bit fearfully and worriedly.  
  
"Huh!? Oh, no I'm fine just...just play your harmonica thing," he sat down against the wall.  
  
The Gryffindor shrugged and played his instrument like a prisoner in jail. After he finally calmed down Draco soon started humming to the tune (think, blues style).  
  
_"We're trapped in a shop,"_ he started to sing, he paused for Harry to put in a beat, _"a Honeydukes shop,"_ another pause for another beat, _"we're really bored and-I'm-getting-horny."_ He actually did now that he was looking up at the other boy.  
  
Harry choked and stopped playing. Draco smirked when he saw the slight bulge growing underneath the boys' jeans.  
  
"Go on, continue playing this is fun."  
  
The Golden Boy blinked, blushed lightly but continued playing, soon calming down as he closed his eyes.  
  
_"So here we are now,"_ pause for a few beats,_ "stuck in a sweet shop,"_ pause again, _"because of a storm man-I'm-getting-real-hard."_ Harry blushed again but continued to play the harmonica. _"We're both all alone,"_ he stood up but the raven head didn't notice. _"With nothing to do,"_ he walked closer, _"so just say the truth and-we'll-shag-like-bunnies!"  
_  
"Draco!" Harry stopped playing and opened his eyes, blushing harder when he saw the boy standing right over him.  
  
"Yes?" he grinned, gracefully sitting on the other boys' lap. The raven head seemed lost for words; he could feel the blonds' erection against his own growing one, "something wrong?"  
  
"W-what are you doing?"  
  
"Nothing, just sitting in the comfiest seat in the store," he grinned when Harry blushed harder. "Or better yet, universe."  
  
"A-are you feeling o-ok?"  
  
"I should ask you the same question; you're stammering your butt off. What's the matter? Not used to having someone on your lap?"  
  
"Uh...sort of," 'shit, shit, SHIT!' he repeated in his head.  
  
"Well get used to it," he whispered in Harrys' ear. He couldn't take it anymore, fuck the plan, he was too horny now.  
  
"O-oh my go..." the Gryffindor trailed off when he felt the Slytherin lick and kiss his neck soothingly. "What are you doing?" he managed to say.  
  
Draco grinned and looked at him in the eyes. Harry could see the lust in them, causing sanity to slip away from him.  
  
**_ 'Are you sure you wanna do this on a chair? That's pretty uncomfortable.'  
_**  
_ 'Shut up.'  
_  
**_'All right shithead.'  
_**  
"Relax, Harry," he leaned closely to him, "I'm not gonna kill you," he grinned at the blushing boy, "why would I?"  
  
"Y-you seem the type-" he stopped when Draco leaned in closer until their lips nearly touched, his erection was throbbing.  
  
"Well I'm not," he darted his tongue out and licked the other boys' soft perfect lips. Harry gasped; it sent chills up his spine and he arched his back slightly.  
  
The blond merely grinned and crashed their lips together, sneaking his tongue in the other mouth. The taste from the gumballs was still there causing him to deepen the kiss. Harry, although shocked twice at this sudden move, eagerly kissed him back, their tongues wrestling for dominance.  
  
His hands traveled up the blonds' smooth bare back, one hand already on his head, enjoying the soft blond locks against his fingers, he pulled him closer, making their heat radiate against each other. Draco trailed his hands under Harry's shirt, feeling his well toned muscles and warmth.  
  
The Gryffindor let out a soft moan from the back of his throat by the touch.  
  
Draco grinned and began to kiss the other boys' neck again, pulling the shirt up higher, his slender fingers caressing Harrys' now hard nipples and earning another moan from him.  
  
"Why are you doing this?" the raven head breathed.  
  
"Remember the guy I said I've been having this obsession with?" the blond asked, pulling the shirt off of Harry, the other boy nodded, dazed but slightly curious. "It's you."  
  
"Oh," much to the Slytherins' surprise Harry seemed to be taking things quite easily. "That explains why you stole my gum."  
  
"Yep," he continued to ravish the raven head, "hmm...you taste good," he grinned, knowing Harry was blushing brightly.  
  
He rubbed himself against the Gryffindor, both groaned at the relief and pleasure. But their pants were in the way, so Draco ripped them off not a care in the world at how his expensive pants were being thrown in the mess of sweets on the ground. The blond rubbed their erections against each other harder, louder groans escaping from them.  
  
He licked his way down, tracing the muscles on Harry's body before he reached his destination. The Golden boy gripped the edges of the chair as his manhood was taken whole by the warm wet mouth of Draco. He let out a moan as the blonds' talented tongue caressed the base. He arched his back and threw back his head as the other boy bobbed his head up and down.  
  
"Oh god...DRACO!" He cried out once he came. The Slytherin kept sucking, milking him to the last drop. He licked his lips and grinned at the panting Golden Boy.  
  
"My turn."

* * *

"Maybe that guy you were talking about is the prankster," shrugged Hermione, popping another gumball in her mouth.  
  
"That's what we thought," said Pansy. They were still in the Great Hall.  
  
"This thing has good music," Ron said, listening to Harry's cd player.  
  
"Ron...where did you get that?" Hermione looked at her redhead friend curiously.  
  
"He let me borrow it," he shrugged, pushing one ear phone up, "I wonder who's the singer-oh his name is...Linkin Park? What an odd name."  
  
"It's not the name of the singer it's the name of the band," Blaise said, blowing a bubble from the gumball he stole from the Gryffindorette.  
  
"Oh...how do you know about muggle bands?"  
  
"Colin told me, he listens to that kind of stuff too."  
  
"Oh...yay! Another good song!" he jiggled a bit hyperly (that a word?) as he kept listening to the radio.  
  
"Let me hear," Hermione leaned over.  
  
"Uh-uh, you go on and blow your gum," he pushed away sticking out his tongue at her. She sighed, grabbed a gumball and stuffed it in his mouth before grabbed the unused ear piece and sticking it in her ear.  
  
Pansy and Blaise watched in shock. "You know," she finally said, "I don't think they even care about Harry."  
  
"Of course we do!" the two Gryffindors shouted indignantly.  
  
"But he's stuck in a store, besides, there's a trap door, he'd be an idiot not to use it," shrugged Hermione.  
  
"What if it's been blocked?" Ron blew a bubble, enjoying very much the taste of the gum he was given, "jeeze no wonder you wouldn't stop chewing this stuff!"  
  
"If it's been blocked then they're stuck. But oh well since they have the hots for each other heheh, and they've got food there, they won't die."  
  
"You perverted freak!"  
  
"Thank you."  
  
"We have to find that guy who's pretending to be homeless," frowned Pansy, "I bet you anything he's the prankster."  
  
Ron slammed the table with his fist in agreement. "Right on!"  
  
"Have you gone all hippie!?"  
  
"...For a minute yes...forget you even saw that."  
  
"Oh you won't believe what he did with his pants a few weeks ago," giggled Hermione leaning close to the two Slytherins.  
  
"YOU WOULDN'T DARE!" bellowed Ron ears red in embarrassment.  
  
"Try me!"

* * *

"Oh god...you're so good," Draco breathed, his nails digging into the raven heads back as he went in and out of him in hard quick beats.  
  
They had somehow ended up on the floor behind the counter. Sweaty and naked, crying and moaning in undying pleasure.  
  
Harry licked and sucked the boys' neck, giving him numerous hickeys on his pale skin. They kept going in the same beat until they both came at the same time, spilling their cum everywhere...well at least not literally...  
  
Draco looked out the window then buried his head in Harry's neck to muffle his shaking laughter.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Storm's over, how ironic is that?"  
  
Harry looked out the window, the storm had left and the sun began to shine. "I don't get it," he said cluelessly only making the other boy laugh harder.

* * *

Ack! Ack! ACK!!! I tried the best I could...well maybe not BEST, but I tried (cries) Ahhhh!!!! I'm still a bit...new at this so...yeah...soz if this took a while to get up! Review please?


	9. A Mystery?

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter (burp) 'scuse me...

OMFG!!! THANKS FOR THE REVIEWS!!!!!

**YamiYumes**: heehee I know, but thanks!

**Mimi**: yeah there's a trapdoor in Honeydukes, I just forgot to add that...

**afichicka**: lmao! Sign your ass? where's the sharpie lol thanks for the review!

**xXxIce.PrincessxXx**: Really? Which Giver fic?

**Shui-Wing0**: lol, new chappy's here lol

**coriander**: wow really? Well here's da new chappy!

**Isis-mystic**: lol, yeah thank god heehee. Glad you like me 'Mione!

**Heather-Hezzer-and-Honaluki**: yay! (dances happily yet weirdly) heeheehee glad you liked the song!

**Psi**: that's ok, yes me needs more sleep. I'm afraid this chappy might be like the last but...oh well I'll try and get more sleep and make the next chappy funnier! lalala

**Lillei**: yup they are lol

**HOnEySky**: woohoo they finally did it lol heehee me weird

**hopelessromantic2006**: yeah finally!

**Swiftrunner**: soz if this wasn't soon but here's the new chappy!

**Ryan's-heart's-desire**: (gawk) you kidnapped Tom Felton? (giggles) care to share? lol

**GeminiEmerald**: teehee thank ya!

**The future Mrs Ja rule**: here's the new chappy! yep me know the drill lol

**eminem4eva**: Hopefully they won't get in trouble...heehee

**thedarkside45**: thank ya!

**KaylieAysel**: ok me will stop crying now, (sits down and calms down then suddenly stands up) HURRY WITH THE NEW CHAPPY PLEASE!!! (hops around) You'll find out who put up the storm-aw damn I slipped it! oh well-in like the next chappy maybe lala

**Lyndsay-Marie**: yay! thanks!...well I have written a few lemon scenes but not much so I'm not sure if that makes me experienced in writing it but anyway enjoy the new chappy!

**Inylan**: yay! (dances along too)

**dracoqueen456**: I did the Colin/Blaise thing at random and 'cause I read a fic that had them as a side pairing...damn I forgot the name (cries) anyway, Harry/Draco getting married and having kids? Hmmm....who knows, we'll just have to see if they survive through school...lmao! I sound like JKR!

**sexAy-iranian23**: (blink and then shudders) Yep that's quite disturbing lol

**Eternal Spark**: Dude I'm like, always entertained by your reviews! I think I added a bit of that Ron and Blaise thing on this chappy...yeah...lol Dragon Cumballs!? Wow that would be sold out in a split second lol

**From Heavan to Hell and Back**: oh ok (calms down) lol

**soul kid**: lol, who could NOT love Drakie poo lol he's gonna kill me for saying that lol

**Chang Wumei**: lol thanks hope the rips heal from so much laughter lol

**Robin the bird**: They don't exactly get caught here but I'm not sure if this was overused (shrugs) oh well read on

**moe**: wow really? well here's the update!

**Nichole08**: my best....well my very best is in this weird HP fic that I haven't posted up yet but the lemon scene isn't between Harry/Draco, it's from this other pairing that I've started to like....yeah...weirdness....lol

**Kikirini-chan**: yay! High five! (slap!) lol I LUVD THAT MOVIE!! I SAW IT TOO! (jumps around) it's actually kind of funny to see Draco as a wimp though lol

**Ovens=friends**: lol thanks new chapter here!

**bobby**: yurp there's more chappys....'CAUSE HERE'S THE ACTUAL PLOT! lol me weird

anyway, soz if this took long but my evil sissy! blame her! hahaha! Ok I'm very hyper, not to mention giggly so g'on an' read da new chapitor!

* * *

Chapter Nine: A Mystery?

* * *

"Oh goody the storm's over!" Hermione jumped off her seat and grabbed her small pile of gumballs before running out of the Great Hall, "come on! We can go see them now!"  
  
"She's a jumpy little bunny isn't she?" Pansy said raising an eyebrow as she watched the other girl run out.  
  
"Yup," Blaise stood up and stretched, "aw man my ass fell asleep. Lets go then," he walked out rubbing his bum.  
  
"Where'd everybody go?" Ron looked around realizing he and Pansy were the only ones left.  
  
"Storm's over, we can go see Harry and Draco," Pansy stood up quickly followed by the Gryffindor who was still listening to the cd player. "Is that music really good?"  
  
"Yeah, here listen," he gave her an earpiece; she looked at it suspiciously before sticking it in her ear.  
  
"Cool," she commented after hearing a bit, "this is...Nine Inch Nails right?"  
  
Ron nearly gawked at her. "How'd you know?"  
  
"I have Muggle Studies, and I listened to a few muggle music myself."  
  
"Then why'd you ask if it was good or not?"  
  
"No reason," she shrugged, as they walked on out of the Great Hall she started humming to the song, "oh I know this one! It's Closer! I love this song!"  
  
Ron eyed her a bit fearfully. "You Slytherins surprise me...and scare me."  
  
"Heehee! Thank you!"

* * *

"Oh _shit_ Mrs. Honeydukes is gonna come here soon!" Harry stood up and pulled out his wand from his discarded jeans. Draco sat up a little, perched on his elbows and watching amusedly as the raven head shouted a bunch of spells causing the candies to clean themselves and hang themselves up against the shelves.  
  
_**'Come on blondie, you've had your fun now put on some clothes before- '**_ Mrs. Honeydukes apparated before them, **_'you, my insane buddy, are dead.'  
_**  
_'Oh fuck!'_ Draco quickly hid behind the counter, trying to put on his clothes as fast as he could.  
  
"Uh...Harry? Why aren't you wearing your shirt?" Annabelle asked looking at the Golden Boy a bit confusedly. Lucky for Harry and Draco, they were behind the counter and Mrs. Honeydukes could only see Harry from the waist up.  
  
"It got warm here during the storm," the raven head lied swiftly.  
  
"Oh, well I just came by to tell you that Hank's broken leg turned out to be pretty serious. He having delusions, the poor man," she sighed and paused for a few seconds. Harry felt a hand tapping his hand; he looked down and saw Draco holding up his shirt for him which he took in one quick move.  
  
"What kind of delusions?" he asked, putting on his shirt as fast as he could.  
  
"He says he got his broken leg because some tall man pushed him down the stairs. Says the man looked like he was poor," she sighed again, "well then...where's Draco?"  
  
"He's in the basement."  
  
"Still working? My, what a determined boy he is, I ought to promote him...anyway you-OH MY GOODNESS!" Harry and Draco froze, fearing she caught them, "there's a _TREE _blocking the door!" she rushed over to the blocked door. The two teens sighed in relief and tried to get dressed as fast as they could before Annabelle would turn around. "Hmmm...not so bad," she muttered, taking out her wand and fixing the blockade.  
  
"Where's my apron?" Draco muttered quickly under his breath. Harry looked around and spotted the uniform a few feet away from Annabelle.  
  
_"Accio apron,"_ he muttered pointing his wand to the discarded apron, it floated and flew across the room into his hand; he caught it and threw it down at the blond.  
  
"No wonder you both didn't leave," Mrs. Honeydukes turned around again, "I only came to see if you left or not. Anyway, I'm going to stay with Hank at St Mungo's until his leg, and hopefully mind," she muttered the last part, "have fully recovered, so you and Draco will have to watch over the store."  
  
"But-"  
  
"I know it's Christmas vacation by tomorrow but I don't know who else to turn to, I already asked a few friends but they seemed afraid," she started to look puzzled, "anyway, I hope you'll understand, I'll even give you both a raise. I'd better tell Draco."  
  
"No!" Harry quickly shouted before Annabelle could walk two steps, "you can't because he's...taking a nap!"  
  
"A nap? In the basement?" she laughed a little, "is he crazy? There's bugs and possibly rats down there. I'll go wake him up."  
  
"No!"  
  
"Harry _what_ is _wrong_?"  
  
"If you wake him he'll be really pissed, I tried to wake him up a few minutes ago and he nearly hexed me. He's been working _really_ hard," Draco raised an eyebrow up at the other boy.  
  
_ 'Yeah I've been working.'  
_  
**_'Head out of the gutter now!'_**  
  
_ 'That's a shock, considering you're the cause of me always having my head in the gutter.'_  
  
**_'So? You're about to get caught!'_**  
  
_'You worry too much.'_  
  
"Alright then," she looked through her purse, and took out two bags, "here, it's your payments," she walked over and dropped the payments on the counter. Fortunately she didn't look straight down to where Draco was busy zipping up his pants.  
  
"But it's Saturday," Harry looked at the woman in confusion, she let out a laugh.  
  
"My dear boy, it's Sunday! Eleven o' clock in the morning to be exact. Well then, see you in a week!" with a pop she disapperated. The two teens let out a loud sigh of relief.  
  
"I thought she'd _never_ leave!" the blond stood up and finished changing properly. "I wonder how much money I got," he picked up his bag and looked inside curiously.  
  
"Wow, so we stayed here all night..." Harry muttered before taking his payments as well.  
  
"Yup, it was fun while it lasted. Thirty galleons! This is an OUTRAGE! I deserve at _least_ seventy!"  
  
"Spoilt brat."  
  
"Thank you," he sat down on the chair with his legs crossed on the counter.  
  
"That's my move," the raven head raised an eyebrow at him.  
  
"Not anymore," he grinned, "I just realized, the fun's not over yet. With the Honeydukes gone for the week we'll be here alone."  
  
"Oh?" he walked over and sat on the blonds lap, grinning mischievously.  
  
"So we can do whatever we want."  
  
"Hmm, I like the sound of that," he leaned in and kissed the blond.  
  
Voices from outside could be heard. The door opened followed by the sound of the bell. The group who had come in suddenly stopped talking, Harry and Draco didn't even notice since they were so busy making out.  
  
"Oh they're _snogging_," Hermione said in a motherly tone, unable to stop the giggles from escaping her.  
  
"My lil boy," Pansy said proudly, hands together and sparkles of glee in her eyes.  
  
"...Wow...do you think they'd consider taking the jobs as porn stars or some...thing?" he slowly stopped when he saw the look on the others faces, "uh heh! Never mind."  
  
"Harry, a porn star...that's demented, mate," said the paling Ron.  
  
"MY GUMBALLS!" Hermione spotted the jars full of gumballs and rushed over, plainly planning to refill her stash.  
  
Upon hearing Hermione's scream Harry and Draco both separated in surprise. "Guys?" the blond eyed them, "what are you doing here?"  
  
"Hogsmeade weekend," shrugged Pansy.  
  
"This early?"  
  
"Yeah, got a problem?"  
  
"None at all Queen of the Weird."  
  
"That would be Hermione."  
  
"...Oh."  
  
"OH SHIT!" Blaise looked at his watch and paled, "I'm late! Bye guys, catch you later!" he ran out of the store like Speedy Gonzalez (lol did I spell that right?).  
  
"Why is he late?" Ron watched in amazement at how fast Blaise took off.  
  
"Colin," Pansy answered plainly.  
  
"Oh right I forgot," he turned back to Harry and Draco, "so what's been going on between you two?"  
  
"Nothing," they both lied, their blushes betrayed them.  
  
"Yeah, right. You two shagged like bunnies," Hermione said, stuffing her small bag with gumballs.  
  
"You're supposed to pay for that," the blond said dully.  
  
"Make me."  
  
"Actually Harry can, he IS the clerk after all."  
  
"So?"  
  
"Hermione you have to pay, how am I suppose to explain the disappearance of a bunch of candies to Mr. and Mrs. Honeydukes," Harry nearly whined.  
  
"Oh don't worry, the orders that your bosses made will keep coming, don't have a wedgy."  
  
"At least pay _something_."  
  
"Oh alright," she took out a galleon from her pocket and flicked it at him, "that should be enough."  
  
Harry caught it and sighed as he put the coin in the cash register.  
  
"Pansy, I couldn't contact you last night, what happened?" Draco looked over to the other girl.  
  
"I thought it was the storm, but the bowl of visions went black as well. It happened after that poor guy left."  
  
"Ok...that's weird...and that spell was supposed to work over storms too..."  
  
"You guys were tricked by that guy."  
  
"What guy?"  
  
"Ouch!" Ron glared at Hermione as he caressed his hand. Apparently he was trying to get a gumball but the brunette slapped his hand away.  
  
"Uh...that really tall guy who pretended to be poor," Pansy tried to get the conversation back to what was important.  
  
"HE'S NOT POOR!?" Draco yelled sending Harry to the floor in surprise.  
  
"Ouchies my ears," the raven head sat up rubbing his ears with the palm of his hands.  
  
"Sorry..."  
  
"Didn't you notice his perfect teeth and the fresh dirt on his face? He didn't he look poor either. He'd look like Ron-"  
  
"Hey! I'm standing right here you know!" fumed the red head.  
  
"Oh, sorry," she blushed in embarrassment much to Ron's surprise...and maybe fear.  
  
"And we let him leave too," Harry stood up frowning at himself, "what kind of clerk am I!" he yelled to the ceiling.  
  
"You're being a little over dramatic."  
  
"I know...so where is the bastard?" he let himself get pulled onto Dracos' lap.  
  
"We don't know. But after he left my connection to you guys were disconnected."  
  
"Why were you watching over us?" the Gryffindor looked at the girl suspiciously.  
  
"Oh...uh...that's not important now," she laughed nervously, the raven head turned to Draco.  
  
"Not important, at all!" he laughed nervous as well.  
  
"Uh huh..."  
  
"Right...so now what? How are we gonna catch the guy?"  
  
"I don't know," Pansy walked around the room, tapping her chin in deep thought, "he must be that prankster you were talking about before. So if there's a switch with Zonkos again, then he must be near."  
  
"You're a regular Sherlock Holmes," Hermione said, her mouth stuffed with gum, "mmm _so_ good," her face flush in delight, Ron looked a tad more afraid for his friend and did what he did best. He took a few more steps away from her.  
  
"Thank you," the Slytherinette bowed to her.  
  
"So...what? We've got a mystery or something?" Ron asked, a bit confused at who Sherlock Holmes was.  
  
"Sort of. The only mystery here is where the prankster is and who he is."  
  
"Can't we leave it to the Ministry of Magic?" Harry whined half heartedly. "I have plans this week!"  
  
"Yeah me too," Draco pouted, holding the Golden boy closer.  
  
"OH MY GOD THAT'S SO CUTE!" squealed Ginny. Everyone turned look at her.  
  
"The bell didn't ring...ok...that's weird," Pansy looked at the door then realized the bell had fallen because of Blaise running off earlier.  
  
"So you guys are a couple now? WOOHOO! WAIT TILL I TELL-" she was interrupted by a hand over her mouth, she looked up at Pansy.  
  
"You're not gonna tell anyone, this is gonna be a secret for a while," the older girl said almost sharply.  
  
The red head girl nodded and the hand was taken away. "But I'll keep a secret if you two do one thing for me," she grinned rather evilly.  
  
"We're not shagging you," the blond said bluntly.  
  
"No," she giggled, "just do a make out session," the two older teens looked at her in shock, "oh like you didn't know that nearly everyone wants to see the two hottest guys in Hogwarts have a snog!"  
  
"They think I'm hot?" Harry blushed but no more was said since his lips were captured by the Slytherin.

* * *

Ok then. Sorry again if this took long, my sissy and I slept over me aunts house and they don't have a computer (cries) and sorry if this was short too!  
  
One question though. This isn't the last chapter but do you think I should make a sequel?  
  
REVIEW PLEASE! 


	10. Who's in Who's Bed?

Disclaimer: (in a fit of burps) I (burp) don't own (burp) Harry (burp) fuck! Potter (buuuuuuuurp!) (blushes in embarrassment)

THANKS FOR THE REVIEWS!

**The future Mrs Ja rule**: lol the haha's again lol and yes me totally agrees with Ginny!

**Ryan's-heart's-desire**: heehee Harry/Draco as porn stars (blushes and nods) woohoo I get Tom Felton for Friday to Sunday...too bad it's Wednesday lol

**Nichole08**: ok (jumps around) don't worry the ending's not coming that quickly...I hope...The new story, you mean the one I said from last time? 'cause I wasn't really thinking of posting it lol, but another that I'm thinking of posting has the same pairing except the main one will be Ron/Justin (shrugs)

**xXxIce.PrincessxXx**: oh ok lol ack it's gonna be a while since I'll update on that story but anyway, here's the new chappy!

**Heather-Hezzer-and-Honaluki**: Yup, all crazy, I meant Draco to just be the crazy but it turns out 'Miones the most insane one lol

**Inylan**: ah ok, so I have to keep a few loose threads at the end of this fic then?

**Sakura Harusame**: wow really? COOL!

**moe**: yes he is....I'd say more about it but I kinda wanna keep it a secret and reveal it in the fic lol

**Morwen and the little one**: lol funny review and thanks for reviewing my other story (hops around) heehee. I'll try and sneak in some wild shagging! but it's not really in this chappy...sadly..

**Isis-mystic**: who knows...ah I'll reveal it in this chapter lol

**sexAy-iranian23**: lol, maybe I would do that...if I had the guts lol

**Shui-Wing0**: I sort of wrote the song, good doggy, sitting and waiting (pats head) ok that must have been disturbing lol

**darkangel666**: yay! Ok I'll make the sequel! lol

**Lyndsay-Marie**: (blushes) thank ya!

**Psi**: ten years? (gawk) wow I'll be twenty-five by then lol

**Lara Black**: Hippie Snape? (evil grin, rubs hands together) heheheheh the mystery character dude will be revealed...sort of soon heehee

**Jack Sparrow's Only Love**: thank you! here's the update!

**Eternal Spark**: LMAO! Man I'm never tired of yer reviews lol! hmm....should I put in a part in the fic with Harry and Draco contemplating the career as porn stars?

**JesPaiTha**: I do? Oh so then I don't update late then, cool!

**KaylieAysel**: things will get weirder believe me lol

**Kikirini-chan**: don't worry it WILL lead to a sequel...hopefully...I actually thought the Remus in the movie was kinda cute (blushes) heehee soz I have a weird taste in guys

**Chang Wumei**: I don't dislike them together but...(nervous) heehee...I already got them paired off with different random people, soz

**PotionsPet**: (nods in agreement) maybe I should make a show on that lil part in a chappy (taps chin, pondering)

Anyway, yay! thank you all reviewers! (sniff) I feel special, READ ON!!! (happy dance yet still horrible)

Todays thoughts:

'blah' = Harry's thoughts

'blah' = Pansy's thoughts

* * *

Chapter Ten: Who's in Who's bed!?

* * *

"Ow! Bitch!" Ron caressed his slightly red hand as he glared at his bushy haired friend who merely stuck out her tongue at him and continued to savor and protect her gumballs like that dragon Harry fought in fourth year. "Just one, pleeeaaassse?" the red head pouted.  
  
"No."  
  
"Evil."  
  
"Thank you."  
  
"Bitch."  
  
"You too, dickhead."  
  
Pansy sighed, sitting on the chair she summoned with her wand. She looked at everyone in the shop. There didn't seem to be any customers today, Ginny was still there, sitting in a chair eating popcorn watching Harry and Draco make out in pure delight.  
  
"I wonder what the hell Blaise and Colin are doing?" Pansy said carelessly, leaning forward with her elbow on her knee and hand under her chin.  
  
"I saw them running to some inn or something," Ginny said offhandedly, still munching on her popcorn and not peeling her eyes off the couple.  
  
"Inn?"  
  
"Yeah (munch, munch) they were running too (swallow), obviously they're gonna have sex (munch), as usual."  
  
"They never seem to get that off their minds. Are boys always horny twenty-four seven?"  
  
"Not really...at least Ron's not horny every second. Damn I wish I had a camera! Should have taken Colin's when he wasn't looking!"  
  
"Ron's never horny?" the Slytherinette blinked in surprise.  
  
"What?" said boy turned to them, "what about me?"  
  
"Nothing!" Pansy sat up straight, her cheeks flaring.  
  
"...You scare me...have you got a disease or something?" he eyed her.  
  
"Nope! None at all!"  
  
"Oh, well, whatever," he turned around and tried to get a gumball again only to be whacked in the hand by Hermione's fierce hand. "OUCH! SON OF A BITCH!"  
  
"Serves you right," Hermione huffed. She sat down on the floor and held her gumballs close to her. "mwehahahahahahah!"  
  
There came a few groans from the other side of the room and Ron paled when he saw the couple still making out. "When will they stop?" he moaned miserably.  
  
"When they and I am satisfied," Ginny said, stuffing her mouth with a handful of popcorn.  
  
"And that'll take forever," Pansy grinned, turning to the couple.  
  
Harry managed to get Draco's shirt off and was now trailing his hands against his skin while licking and sucking the Slytherins neck.  
  
"Mmm..._more_," the blond breathed, pulling the raven head closer, sneaking a hand under the raven heads' shirt. Ginny blushed but continued to watch.  
  
There was a thud, anyone who wasn't paying too much attention turned to the source of noise. Ron, the poor boy, had fainted.  
  
"I wonder..." Pansy imagined Ron saying what Draco just said and suddenly blushed brightly. 'Oh fuck! Don't get wet! Don't get wet!' Too late. 'Shit!'

* * *

"So, this will help us track down that prankster person?" Colin asked, hugging his boyfriend from behind.  
  
"Yup," he fiddled with a few glitches here and there. He had on a pair of goggles so his eyes were shielded from any random spark.  
  
"I still can't believe what he took though," the Gryffindor shook his head.  
  
"Me neither, but Grams ordered me to find him," Blaise shrugged, lifting his goggles, "I'm not even sure he knows what he stole," he laughed lightly.  
  
"So...this prankster, he's tall, NOT poor, what color hair did he have?"  
  
"Brown...I think...it's kind of hard to tell since the storm was the only light there."  
  
"Oh...brown hair," he muttered to himself, "did he look innocent?"  
  
"Yeah, I didn't recognize him until Pansy pointed out he wasn't poor. Why're you so interested?"  
  
"Dennis gave me this book on criminals."  
  
"What for?"  
  
"Dunno, he said something about, being careful in the world of the something else, I have no fucking clue what he meant by that. He must be sniffing crack when I'm not looking."  
  
"...Crack?....Ok then," he looked back down at the machine he created, "almost done, I just need to put in a few spells here and there...shouldn't be too hard," he lifted it and eyed every angle.  
  
It was a flat metal sphere with a black grid in the middle. There seemed to be nothing special about it, except the fact that it looked like an ordinary dinner plate.  
  
"So this book of criminals, there's someone in it that looked like the prankster?" he looked at the other boy who nodded after a few moments.  
  
"Yeah. Small paragraph about him though. It says he's wanted for murder and I guess burglary."  
  
"Uh...how many people did he kill?"  
  
"I dunno," he shrugged, "somewhere around maybe twenty or something. It said he did it for revenge or fun or something."  
  
Blaise gulped. "And here I thought I was just gonna get my Grams bra back."  
  
"Don't worry, we're not connected to him personally," he smiled sweetly, leaned in and kissed the Slytherin.  
  
Blaise smiled into the kiss. "Mmm...you taste like cherries," he licked his lips when they separated. Colin shrugged.  
  
"I stole a gumball when Hermione wasn't looking."

* * *

In the dark shadows inside the Hogs Head sat a dark hooded figure grinning to himself, trying to suppress his bubbling evil laugh.  
  
"Soon, oh so very soon," he muttered to himself before bursting out in evil laughter. "MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"  
  
"Shut the fuck up!" shouted someone in the pub. The stranger lowered his laughter into a small fit of giggles.  
  
He lifted his hand from under the table and cleaned his cum filled hand with a napkin.  
  
The man looked at the Daily Prophet grinning madly. "They're at Hogwarts."

* * *

The next day!  
  
Harry woke up to find himself wrapped protectively in Draco's arms. 'Aww! He's so bloody cute!' the raven head thought happily.  
  
The sunlight mixed beautifully with the blonds features, asleep he looked angelic and innocent, awake he was just plain ass hot.  
  
'How did he get here?' the Gryffindor thought idly, 'oh well!' he fell back asleep, burying his head in the Slyherin's neck.  
  
Just after he fell asleep Dean woke up blinking the sleep from his eyes and yawning his bum off cutely. "What the bloody hell," he was suddenly awake when he spotted the couple sleeping together. "Haha! Cute!"  
  
"I know I am," Seamus muttered in his sleep, Irish accent all the way. "Hey," he said, waking up, "ignoring the fact that I like this change, how'd you get in my bed?"  
  
"Wha?" Dean realized his location and nearly fell off the Irish boys' bed in shock.  
  
"Oh my god!" Seamus spotted the sleeping boys. "How adorable is that!?" he said, eyes glittering and hands put together.  
  
"Yeah, cute, whatever. What happened last night?"  
  
"...Who cares?"  
  
"...Ok!"  
  
"Now," he looked around the dorm, "where's Ronnikins and Nevilly-poo?"  
  
"Hell if I knew, I can't remember a fucking thing from last night, if anything happened then."  
  
"That's kind of scary man...oh well, that's life," with that said he embraced the other boy in a tight hug.  
  
"I need oxygen!" Dean managed to say, trying to break away, "hey...hey! No touching my ass!"

* * *

"Ah beautiful sunny day," Ginny sighed as she felt the sun warm up her face through the window. She turned on her side, planning to sleep more until she realized she wasn't the only person in her bed. She peered an eye open and gasped, jumping up so quickly that she fell off her bed. "Holy shit!"  
  
"Ginny?" Neville yawned, not opening his eyes but turning away from the sunlight, "what are yeh doin' in my bed?" he yawned.  
  
"_Your_ bed!? You're in _my_ bed you fat fuck!"  
  
"Your bed?" he opened his eyes and gasped when he saw he was in the girls dorms. "How'd I get here!? Ahh!" he covered himself with the bed sheets, he was shirtless. "Hey wait a minute! I'm not fat! I lost a lot of weight in case you hadn't noticed," he said indignantly, "fat fuck, honestly."  
  
"Well how the hell did you get here!? Boys aren't aloud here at all!" screeched the red head.  
  
"Well _excuuuuse me_ but I've got not clue in _hell_ to how I got here either."  
  
A pillow soared across the dorm and hit Neville in the head. "Shut up! You fight like an old married couple!" Parvati complained, "me needs me beauty sleep," she lay back in bed hugging Hermione, drifting off to sleep.  
  
"My gumballs, not yours...mine," the brunette muttered in her sleep. Ginny and Neville blinked.  
  
"Well that was random," the Weaslette said.  
  
"Tell me about it."

* * *

"Hmm...red hair...cute lil freckles...hot ass," Pansy murmered sleepily clinging to the body in her bed.  
  
"Mommy you gave me back my teddy bear?...Yay!" Ron mumbled in his sleep, snuggling closer to Pansy.  
  
"Hm?" the Slytherinette slowly woke up and gawked when she saw the red head cling to her like a security blanket.  
  
"Warm..." he muttered, "...wait a...what?" he woke up too and shot back when he looked at who he was hugging. "OH MY GOD!" he shouted before tumbling off the bed much like Ginny had.  
  
"Not so loud," Pansy whispered looking at her dorm mates worriedly, but they didn't wake up.  
  
"How did I get here? I do NOT remember drinking firewhisky or _anything_," he stood up.  
  
"Neither do I, keep it down before someone wakes up and reports you," she hissed quietly.  
  
"Huh? Oh," he lowered his voice, "how did I get here though? You didn't hex me or anything did you?"  
  
"Why would I? Someone put you here, I just don't know who," she frowned.  
  
"You're taking this rather dramatically."  
  
"I'm not supposed to?"  
  
"No it's just that you look like a horrible actress."  
  
"Oh thank you," she muttered sarcastically, she looked away from him, blushing lightly.  
  
"Why do you always do that!?" he quickly silenced himself and looked around the dorm, no one woke up much to his surprise, "wow, heavy sleepers."  
  
"Oh no," Pansy breathed when she saw Millicent shifting around in her bed, she quickly covered here nose and mouth with her sheets and motioned Ron to do the same.  
  
"Why do I-"  
  
"Just do it!" she ordered, her voice muffled by the sheets. Ron lazily covered half of his face with the sheets and sat on the ground against the bed, hoping Millicent wouldn't spot him, well at least not in a second.  
  
_Brrrrrrrrrrp!....Brrr...brrrrrrrrrrp!!  
_  
The Gryffindor's eyes widened. He pressured the sheets harder against his mouth as he tried with all his might not to explode in laughter. Pansy looked sick to her stomach and tried to look around for her wand while still having her nose covered.  
  
"Oh...my...damn," Ron said, his voice shaking suppressed in laughter.  
  
"Ugh! She's done worse, believe me," muttered Pansy once she found her wand, "blasted bean burritos, I have GOT to get her off that craze."  
  
"Wooo!" the blanket couldn't save him and he was now waving away the smell, "holy shit that is HORRID!" he fell into a fit of laughter and he tried to muffle it through the sheets.  
  
Millicent Bulstrode had done one nasty fart.

* * *

lol dunno what drove me to write that. Ok since most of you said I should make I sequel then I'll write one, I actually had an idea on the plot, yay! I finally thought of an actual plot then think one when I'm in the middle of the story lol! Review please!


	11. Invasion of the Hippies!

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter...HEY I SAID THAT WITHOUT BURPING WOOHOO- (burp)-crud...

THANKS FOR THE REVIEWS (cries)

**xXxIce.PrincessxXx**: Yeah I have MSN, sure, go ahead and add me lol-wait you're talking to me now, lol never mind heehee!

**Psi**: lol thanks!

**Shui-Wing0**: lol, so would this new chappy be like a new food treat?

**PotionsPet**: yup moi too!

**SlytherinGrlForever**: you're hooked? COOL!!! (dances terribly)

**Inylan**: who knows who spiked the pumpkin juice...(tries to look innocent)

**Morwen and the little one**: lol well since you wanted the shagging, Morwen, then I put one in here...yeah...

**Sowen**: glad you like it! Here's the update!

**The future Mrs Ja rule**: (blink) wow...that funny?

**Nichole08**: the mystery will still continue...I guess...or I might've let slip something in this chappy

**HOnEySky**: woohoo!! lol Hermione's gonna be a bit more crazy here

**Ryan's-heart's-desire**: the strange figure...will be revealed at the end of the fic...BUT I ADDED MORE H/DNESS HERE!

**speed2**: yay! thanks!

**sexAy-iranian23**: lol thank ya!

**KaylieAysel**: Herms/Parv was one thing that came out very randomly...but Parvati will become sort of useful in this chappy...but she won't know it lol

**oOWeasleyWizardWheezesOo**: wow you reviewed every chapter, THANK YOU! BIG HUG! lol and the fic won't be over for a while...I hope......

**coriander**: you wanted the sex, here it is....that sounded odd.....anyway...wow you have a craving for cherry gumballs?....great I have one too....

**reflectivelvet**: This chappy might be random...but it's also very weird lol enjoy!

**Kikirini-chan**: Draco'll be dominant in this chappy....did I just spoil you?

**LaraBlack**: lol how did the tests go?

**RootbeerFloat**: wow no improvements? cool!!!! (in Trelawneys voices) The questions shall be answered as the story continues....oOOo.....

**Chang Wumei**: They will shag...DracoDominant right?

**Moe..Again!!!**: oh, soz I meant circle instead of sphere, imagine it as a metal dinner plate with a black grid in the middle

**Lyndsay-Marie**: who knows....

**Heather-Hezzer-and-Honaluki**: yeah their experiments lol

* * *

Chapter Eleven: Invasion of the Hippies!

* * *

The Great Hall was filled with loud talk as a group of teens sat together on the Ravenclaw table. The only laughter there was from a certain red headed boy.  
  
"Alright, who the _fucking _hell thought it funny to put me in bed with Miss Gumball Addict over here!" Parvati screeched, pointing to the glaring Hermione.  
  
"Not mine," they all said at random times.  
  
"Oh man!" Ron laughed, banging the table with his fist, "you should have seen it!!! Heehahahaha! Millicent! She farted hahaha! Like a bloody bomb!"  
  
Pansy sighed and rested her face in her hand. "Every morning she always does that."  
  
"Seriously?" laughed Parvati, forgetting her anger from before, "why? Has she got something stuck up her arse or something?"  
  
"No, she's always sneaking in these bean burritos, it's disgusting."  
  
"Who put us in bed with each other?" Hermione asked, crossing her arms. Ron stopped laughing and gawked at her.  
  
"You spoke seriously...without that crazy face for gumballs! Thank you god! This bitch is back!" he received a slap across the face, "yeah, she's definitely back."  
  
"For a few minutes," she grinned, "gumballs," she sniffed before getting the conversation back to order. "Well? Does anyone know why we woke up with someone, in my case some_thing_," she eyed Parvati who glared, "in our beds?"  
  
"Not a clue," shrugged Pansy, "where's Harry and Draco...and Blaise and...um..." she remembered that Blaise and Colin still didn't want other people to know about their relationship so she didn't know what to say since Parvati was there.  
  
"Who?" she asked curiously.  
  
"Dumbledore's gonna hear about this!"  
  
"Who ever did this has one sick and twisted mind!"  
  
"Yeah, you!"  
  
"I repeat, I DID NOT SNEAK IN YOUR BED!"  
  
"Yeah right, what was with your shirtless self then hm?"  
  
"I do not fucking know! Would you get off my case!?"  
  
The argument continued and drifted away as Ginny and Neville walked past the Great Hall and towards the other side of the castle.  
  
"Wow...they're like some sort of old married couple," blinked Pansy.  
  
"So," Ron clapped, "breakfast?"

* * *

Draco woke up to find emerald eyes stare back.  
  
"_Gooood_ morning," Harry said cheerfully.  
  
"Sure is...not that I'm complaining, but how did I get here?"  
  
"Dunno," he shrugged, "hurray for Christmas vacation though."  
  
"Oh right, I forgot," the blond yawned, snuggling closer to the other boy, "so what do you remember?"  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"Well the last thing I remembered was us having a full out make out session in Honeydukes...unless that was a dream...a wet dream."  
  
"No I remember it too, see look, there's that hickey I gave you right there," he pointed to the fading mark under Dracos' ear.  
  
"Oh right...that felt good, do it again!"

* * *

(and here comes the unneeded switch of scenes...gosh I'm evil...)  
  
Ginny knocked on the oak door quickly.  
  
"Enter my visitor."  
  
Neville and Ginny blinked and hesitated to enter. When they entered the same thought ran through their minds.  
  
'Lord Jesus Christ, tell me Dumbledore's possessed.'  
  
"Hello children, sit and speak of your visit," Dumbledore said in an odd voice.  
  
There was a head band on his head with a peace symbol in the middle, he still had the same sunglasses, and his robes were replaced by a plain white shirt with a smiley face under a light brown vest and jeans. He still had the sandals on.  
  
His office had changed too, there were flowers everywhere along with signs saying peace or something like 'stop the hate!' of 'power to the people!'  
  
The desk was gone; the chairs were replaced by large overstuffed pillows, much like from Trelawneys classroom  
  
"Uh...sir?" Ginny sat on a pillow followed by Neville.  
  
"Dumbledore, man," the headmaster corrected.  
  
"..._Yeah_...see, something strange happened this morning. Neville ended up in my bed, and Parvati ended up in Hermiones' we don't know how it happened, but it might have happened to other people as well."  
  
"You guys are doing a strike for rights of sleeping in whoever's bed and nobody told me?" he sat up straight.  
  
"No, I don't think you understand, see we-"  
  
"No way man, that's awesome!" he stood up looking completely hyper, Neville looked at him in surprise, "we must take a stand to the man! Man!" he raised a fist.  
  
"The who?" Ginny blinked.  
  
"That's a cool band but I prefer Led Zepplin more," he walked to the door chanting some sort of freedoms rights thing, his fist punching the air.  
  
"Wait, where are you going?" the two teens stood up.  
  
"Joining in! I'm gonna go sleep with Mini!" and he left leaving both Gryffindors stalk still in shock.  
  
"Did he mean Mini...as in...Minerva McGonagall?" Neville looked at the red head nervously who nodded.  
  
"Crap...looks like were stuck with this by ourselves," Ginny let out a sigh, "come on, we'd better go tell the others."

* * *

(and back to our regularly scheduled program)  
  
"Oh god," Harry breathed out, his naked body sweaty not to mention one aching erection, "Draco, fuck me!"  
  
"Gladly," grinned the Slytherin, his hands ghosting around the boys' body. At the time he was hungrily ravishing Harry's neck and trailing down his chest.  
  
Seamus and Dean watched from their bed, eating popcorn and getting horny by the sight.  
  
"Do you think they'd consider the job of being porn stars?" Seamus whispered.  
  
"They probably are."  
  
Once Harry was stretched and ready Draco slid into him slowly, going in all the way before slowly sliding out.  
  
"Harder!" the raven head barely gasped out, holding the blond closer. He let out cries of rapture when Draco did as told, hitting the soft spot inside him in every beat making him cry out even louder in bliss.  
  
"You reckon they even know we're right here?" Seamus asked, stuffing him mouth with popcorn.  
  
"Nope...quit hogging all the popcorn, bloody bastard."  
  
He was going to come before the Gryffindor so the blond started pumping the boys' erection in the same beats as him, almost quickly going faster and harder.  
  
"Aw man, it's over," pouted the irish boy, watching as the couple came almost at the same time.  
  
"I did not expect Draco to do that..."  
  
"You called him by his first name."  
  
"Might as well, since he's with Harry and all...I need to take a shower..."  
  
"Let me join you!"

* * *

The same creepy stranger from the Hogs Head who jacked off sat in the shadows of the owlery, looking at some sort of map.  
  
"Mwahahahaha! They don't know what's hit them...HAHAHAHAHA!" he laughed to the ceiling only to be hit in the head by owl poop.  
  
A few owls hooted in a sort of laughter as he gagged and tried to wipe the stuff off.  
  
"Ugh! I gotta get a better hiding spot," he muttered.

* * *

The group that was still in the Great Hall froze in terror as the rest of the students arrived for breakfast.  
  
"I've died and gone to hell," Pansy said weakly.  
  
It was official, the entire school minus our main dudes and dudettes, have gone all hippie.  
  
Either in long dresses, jeans, or vests, there they were. Hippies from every corner and it damn near scared the bloody shit out of the nonhippies.  
  
"Please...if you have a heart, take me away from this horrible nightmare," Parvati fainted and Hermione caught her.  
  
"Why didn't you just drop her?" Ron asked, shrinking away from the Ravenclaws who were giving him peace signs and shout outs.  
  
"I dunno, she fainted," shrugged the brunette, "come on, before WE catch the bug."  
  
"Hi guys, how goes your morning?" Cho asked, giving them the peace sign.  
  
"Horrible," Pansy shrank away from the Ravenclaw.  
  
"Aw that's sad, come on guys!" she yelled to the student body at whole, "lets sing to them!" she whipped out a guitar out of no where and started singing Koom-by-a (ack! My spelling sucks) to the fearful group, other students singing along as well.  
  
"Oh shut the _FUCK_ up!" Hermione used Parvati as a bat and swung her body at the singing girl.  
  
WHAM!  
  
Cho flew across the Great Hall and landed on a bunch of food at the Slytherin table.  
  
In three quick flashes they left the Great Hall like a bunch of mini Speedy Gonzalez's...or giants...never mind.  
  
"What are you guys doing?" Harry laughed lightly, when his friends burst out of the Great Hall, pale as paper.  
  
"Don't go in there...it's...it's..._eeeeviiiil!_" hissed Ron, glaring at the doors.  
  
"Why?" Draco went in but in a second rushed out. "Oh..."  
  
"What?" Harry made to go in but the blond blocked the door shaking his head.  
  
"Hippies, all of them."  
  
"Those poor souls," the Golden Boy shook his head, "well," he put his hands together, "let us pray that we don't get affected."  
  
"Did Parvati die?" Ginny asked, walking to the group, Neville close behind.  
  
"No, she just fainted," shrugged Hermione.  
  
"Drat!"  
  
"Whatever, Harry!" the bushy haired girl jumped up and down, "can I please come with you and Draco to Honeydukes? I think I left my stash there!"  
  
"Your stash?" Draco raised an eyebrow, "you mean drugs?"  
  
"Not really, my gumballs!" she cried dramatically, "my babies! I couldn't find them when I woke up!!!"  
  
"Ok fine if it'll shut you up!" he covered his ears painfully.  
  
"We'll go too," Ron said immediately, "I am NOT staying here and be the next target to the hippie disease!"  
  
"We can ask around Hogsmeade about that prankster too, now can we please go," Pansy eyed the doors to the Great Hall in fear.

* * *

"Heheheheh! _Peeeerfect_," the mystery dude rubbed his hands together, still looking at the odd map.  
  
This time his hiding spot was in the Room of Requirement. There were strange gadgets everywhere, all seemed to be weapons, and on the walls were tv sets that showed every bedroom of the mans targets.  
  
"Damnit, I wanted a woman in here," he muttered, pumping himself until he came, "stupid room," he pouted, popping a gumball in his mouth.

* * *

"No!" cried Hermione when she searched through the shop, "my stash! My babies! They're not here!"  
  
"...She searched the place in like...a second," blinked Draco.  
  
"Whoever stole it," she growled menacingly making the two boys jump and cower a little, "shall pay with their miserable, dirty lives...now I have to make a new stash," she rushed over to the jars, still filled with gumballs.  
  
"I think I felt safer with the hippies," Harry whispered, Draco nodded in agreement and quietly rushed to the counter for safety.  
  
There was the sound of flurry from wings after the sound of the door opening.  
  
"You there! Owl! Did you take my gumballs!?" Hermione shouted, pointing accusingly at the owl. It hooted indignantly at her and proceeded to get to its destination.  
  
"Uh...thanks," Harry took the letter from the owl and it flew away without waiting for a reply.  
  
"Who's it from?" Draco watched curiously as Harry opened the letter and read what it said.  
  
"Leave it on for a few precious minutes, and blend with the crowd like everyone else."  
  
"Oh my god!" shouted Draco taking a step back.  
  
"What?" Harry felt a draft at his feet, he looked down and gasped, he was dressed like a hippie, "oh no! Oh dear god no!" he fell on his knees, "ack! My dignity! It's...it's...dying!"  
  
"Harry," Draco sniffed, hugging the boy tightly, "Harry don't leave me!"  
  
The raven head coughed. "Save yourself (cough) it's too late for me (cough) everything's going dark...(cough, cough)."  
  
"Harry no!" he hugged him even tighter, on the brink of crying.  
  
"I love you..."  
  
"Oh quit acting like a bunch of over dramatic babies!" Hermione interrupted, "just take the bloody clothes off and you'll be fine! God how dumb could you get," she turned back to her gumballs.  
  
Both sat up. "...Oh."

* * *

ok....review please? Heheh? 


	12. Sweet Week

Disclaimer: I don' own Harry Potter (munching on hot dog) yup

THANKS FOR THE REVIEWS!!!

**YamiYumes**: lol hey was wondering, am I stereotypical with the hippie thing?

**sexAy-iranian23**: lol lets switch schools then...(blink) uh you didn't need to know that lol, kidding heehee

**Lillei**: lol thanks!

**Inylan**: heehee, I might have put in some H/D pornstar thing in this here chappy...read and find out lol

**xXxIce.PrincessxXx**: every review counts! well...except flames lol soz if this took long!

**Psi**: hmmm....it _could_ be a disease....

**Shui-Wing0**: a trick? Hmmm....reading the story? Or waiting patiently? Lol that was weird lol

**Willowstar**: thank you!

**LaraBlack**: (gawk) ya lost yer cat!?

**WINk**: I sneaked in a love scene but it's barely detailed...

**yuranda**: lol I luv the peace sign too, thanks for reviewing!

**Sowen**: yay thanks!

**Eternal Spark**: randomness in the chapter, you might get what you wanted...lol

**The Kid In The Corner**: wow thank you! BIG ASS BEAR HUG!!!

**SlytherinGrlForever**: (starry eyed) maaan bye the end of this fic I'm gonna feel so conceited someone will shoot me lol

**heart and soul**: updated! thanks!

**speed2**: updating...now! (presses updating button) lol

**HOnEySky**: - hope you like the new chappy!

**Spidermonkey-Demon**: (sniff) thanks!

**Robin the bird**: I want gumballs too (pout)

**Kikirini-chan**: I won't switch scenes again (evil laugh) maybe...

**Swiftrunner**: Draco asked it out of curiousity, I think (eyes Draco who tries to look suspicious) anyway, soz I updated (hangs head) but in a way, I get two weeks off (me going to Venezuela in August...the horror) so we're sort of even...I think....

**oOWeasleyWizardWheezesOo**: yay (dances so badly it could mean apocalypse) hope ya like da new chappy!

**Falcon Zanbandia of Nightmares**: woohoo! Here's the update!

**JesPaiTha**: Heehee I made a longer scene with the mystery dude!

**coriander**: I do!? (shares gumballs) happy chewing! lol

**Chang Wumei**: Maybe I should draw Dumbly in those clothes (ponders) but I need to learn how to draw old people lol

**Ryan's-heart's-desire**: Tom Felton! (eyes turn into hearts) lucky (beep!) lol

**sennia35**: There's more randomness here!

**Angel-Wings6**: wow really!? BIG HUGGIES!!!!!

**The future Mrs Ja rule**: lol again with the long 'hahaha's lol here's the new chappy!

**PotionsPet**: thanks! lol

**thedarkside45**: yummy gumballs yurp! lol thank you!

**corae**: I have to finish it if there's gonna be a sequel...hee

**Isis-mystic**: yeah I think you spelt it right...but I'm kinda cruddy with spelling things lol

**Morwen and the little one**: lol ok Morwen's probably gonna torture me because the sex scenes in this chappy are barely detailed....(runs and hides)

**Beautiful Willow**: here's the update, enjoy!

(cries) Man I never thought I'd get so many reviews for this but (sniffs) thank you guys! Anyway, enough of my drama side here's da deal, THERE'S LOTS OF RANDOMNESS IN THIS CHAPPY! Enjoy! -

Todays Thoughts!

'blah' = Pansy's thoughts

'_blah_' = Draco's thoughts

'**_blah_**' = Draco's inner mind thoughts

* * *

Chapter Twelve: Sweet Week

* * *

**Tuesday**-NOW He Realizes It! (sigh)  
  
"Hey! Draco!" Harry called from the door of the basement.  
  
"What!?" the blond shouted, a bit mad at being interrupted from his small session of eating candy.  
  
"We need more of those gumballs! It's like a war up here!"  
  
"Alright fine," he whipped out his wand, and waved it to an open crate. A bag of gumballs floated out, he flicked the wand to the door and the gumballs flew into Harry's hands.  
  
"Thank you, buu," Harry walked away.  
  
"Yeah whatever," Draco proceeded to munch on a chocolate covered peanut bar. He froze when he realized what Harry said. "Buu?" he craned his neck to the door, shrugged and continued to eat his bar.  
  
He stopped again when he realized something else. He looked at his wand in shock and waved it to a crate, it floated.  
  
"HOLY SHIT!" he shot up and hit his head on a low ceiling. He ignored the blinding pain and looked at his wand with sheer joy, he could finally do magic in the basement! "WOOOHOOOO!!!! YEAH BABY!"  
  
Harry looked at the closed door that lead to the basement. 'Hm, he must be jacking off.' He proceeded to refill the empty jars.  
  
**Wednesday **(wow Tuesday went by quickly)-Shag Away!  
  
"It is finished mwahahahahaha!!!" cackled Blaise, raising the disk in the air.  
  
"Great, wonderful," Colin clapped sarcastically, "can we shag now?"  
  
"Yeah ok," he threw the disk behind him and dashed to the horny Gryffindor.  
  
"He's on the Daily Prophet!" Pansy burst in the bedroom and blushed like a cherry when she saw Blaise ripping the clothes off of Colin.  
  
"Who?" the Slytherin devoured his lovers neck.  
  
"U-uhm...what?" it was kind of hard for her to think straight with two good looking guys ready to fuck the blinking daylights out of each other were getting busy right in front of her.  
  
"Yeah..._ooooh!_...Who's _oooon_ the Pro-(gasp)-phet?" Colin barely got out since most of his attention was on the Slytherin rubbing himself against him.  
  
"Oh uh...it's the uh...guy! Who um switched those um-things!" she held the newspaper tightly in her hands to try and calm herself. 'Ack! Why am I acting like such an innocent little schoolgirl!'  
  
"Prankster?" Blaise asked before closing his mouth over Colin's erection, sucking on it mercilessly.  
  
"_OOOH!!!_" Colin cried out, arching his back.  
  
"Y-yeah..." she began to imagine herself and Ron in the same state, 'shit! I'm getting wet again!' her eyes were glued on the couple and she felt something wet crawl down her nostril, she touched it and examined it then ran away to get a tissue. She got a nosebleed.  
  
"Hmm," Blaise licked his lips and gave Colin a heated kiss, "wonder why she ran away."  
  
"Dunno," Colin undressed the Slytherin, "but I know I want you inside me," he grinned.

* * *

'Ok, now that I'm back to normal,' Pansy thought as she walked out of the Slytherin dungeons, the Daily Prophet clutched in her hand and her nose stuffed with a tissue, 'I'd better show this to the others.'  
  
_"Peace and love."  
_  
"What?" she looked around but didn't hear anything else, she shrugged it off and went on down the corridor.  
  
_"Stop the hate."  
_  
"Alright who's there?" she stopped again but didn't see anyone else.  
  
_"Power to the people."  
_  
"Professor Dumbledore?" she squeaked nervously even though she knew the voice did not compare to the headmasters. The voice was young and sort of deep not to mention insane.  
  
_"Save the earth."  
_  
"Eep!" she shrank in fear then bolted through the halls and out of the castle, hearing echoing laughter. 'Calm down, caaaalm down...I SAID CALM DOWN BITCH!' she stopped a few yards away from the school and breathed deeply, "ok," she then ran her ass off to Hogsmeade.

* * *

"Who is stealing my stash!" Hermione yelled to the common room that was barely full at all since nearly everyone left for Christmas that morning. Her second stash had gone missing.  
  
Ron calmly put down his book (yes he was reading), stood up, straightened his shirt and ran the bloody fuck out of Gryffindor Tower.  
  
"RON GET BACK HERE NOW!" Hermione ran after him.  
  
"NO WAY WOMAN!" he yelled, running through the corridor, hoping he'd make it to wherever he was going alive.  
  
"GIVE ME BACK MY STASH YOU ASS FUCKING MOLESTER!"  
  
Ron nearly stopped. "Molester!? WELL YOU'RE SO ADDICTED TO GUMBALLS; YOU'D CHEW ON THE BALLS OF A MAN!"  
  
"SO WHAT!? AT LEAST I'D GET SOME!"  
  
"ARGH!" the red head tripped over his foot and skidded across the hall. "YOU SLUT!"  
  
Hermione took out her wand and stood over him. "Give me my stash," she growled dangerously.  
  
"I don't have it!" he looked at the wand fearfully.  
  
"Then," her face fell and she looked like she'd go in hysterics, "why'd you make me chase you!?"  
  
"I wanted to get away from you before you'd blow up and grab the nearest thing to destroy," he pointed himself, "me!"  
  
"Oh...well...ok then," she walked away leaving a gawking Ron.

* * *

"Ah! Salvation!" cried Pansy, once she reached Honeydukes. She swung the door open and was surprised to see the shop full of jumpy giddy girls and boys.  
  
The Slytherinette raised an eyebrow when the girl next to her fainted, she went on through the crowd, wanting to know why so many people were here.  
  
"Oh...dear god," she breathed when she reached the front. 'My second dream come true!' she blushed brightly and felt her nosebleed start up again.  
  
Harry and Draco were on the counter, butt ass naked, shagging each other senseless. There were cries and begs coming out from each of them and a few more girls, maybe some boys too, fainted.  
  
'Harry and Draco the porn stars, I'm so proud,' Pansy thought amusedly, forgetting about the Prophet completely. She looked around at the audience and gaped when she spotted Theodore Nott right next to her.  
  
"Hey," he whispered to her, "d'you think they'd fancy a threesome?"  
  
Her eyes widened and jaw dropped almost literally to the ground mainly because Theodore was as straight as a stick and because he had a girlfriend.  
  
"Wow," she muttered, turning back to the shagging couple, "impressive."  
  
"Harder! Deeper!" cried Harry.  
  
**Thursday**-Drama Strikes Again!  
  
**Everyone must be on the look out for Jederkus Tye, an ex criminal gone back to crime. He has been last been seen in Hogsmeade where he has been secretly switching the Zonko's and Honeydukes orders. Aurors have searched Zonkos products and found hidden Heroine (a muggle drug) which must have been Tye's doing.  
He is wanted for illegal drug smuggling, murder, and use of illegal curses.  
**  
Below was a picture of the man, he was young, with brown slightly tamed hair, deep blue eyes, and a mysteriously insane face...pretty much a hot guy if you ask the author...  
  
"_Oooh_ so this is the guy who pretended to be a poor man," Harry said once he finished reading the newspaper. Draco walked over to the door and switched the sign from Open to Closed.  
  
"Now what?" he asked turning back to the group. "He's a murderer, there's no freaking way I'm chasing after him."  
  
"Yeah well, Blaise made this weird gadget that can help us catch him, he just needs to fix a few glitches on it because he threw it and it kinda broke," she blushed when she remembered about yesterday.  
  
"Oh...but I don't get it, what's the blokes' motivation? Why's he doing all this?" Ron asked curiously.  
  
"He's probably crazy," Hermione said from what she called 'Hermione's Area' which was where the gumballs were at.  
  
"OH! We can do magic in the basement now!" Draco piped happily, "I just found out a few days ago!"  
  
Harry blinked. "Took you long enough."  
  
"Whatcha mean?" the blond eyed him.  
  
**_'He means you're a dumbass.'  
_**  
_'I thought you left.'_  
  
'**_Neva did, I was too busy watching you two shag.'  
_**  
_'Oh...can you, like, shut up now.'_  
  
_**'....Cock sucking bastard.'  
**_  
_'Thank you.'_  
  
"We did magic down there when we first met that Tye person, he must have undone the deflecting charm," Harry shrugged.  
  
"Why didn't you tell me?"  
  
"I thought you knew."  
  
"Well I didn't."  
  
"Ok then."  
  
Draco was about to say something else but didn't and just contemplated on sitting on the boys' lap.  
  
"Ok...getting back on the subject," Pansy said, getting everyone's attention...well, maybe not Hermione, she was busy making a third stash. "I think this hippie thing's connected to Jederkus Tye."  
  
Everyone stared at her and laughed, then nodded as they thought about.  
  
"True...I almost lost my dignity from that letter...maybe it was from him..." Harry pondered. Pansy gave him the 'uh duh' look.  
  
"We'll have to be careful the next time that happens, I for one am NOT gonna let myself get tricked, distracted, or become a human bat like Parvati!" Ron eyed Hermione but she was too busy with her gumballs to notice. Pansy sighed, conjured a porn magazine and let it hover before him. "Porn magazine! Mine!" he snatched it and glued his eyes on the pictures.  
  
"Hey look," Draco pointed amusedly, "he's getting hard."  
  
"He's what?" Pansy looked at the growing bulge on the oblivious red heads pants; she didn't take her eyes off it.  
  
"So anyway," Harry finally spoke, "we know who the guy is, he's somewhere here in Hogsmeade, and Blaise has this thing that'll find him...what do we do now?"  
  
"Wait for Blaise to fix his blasted thingy," shrugged Hermione, blowing a large bubble with her gumball.  
  
An owl swooped through the door and dropped a letter on Harry's lap and left. Draco and the raven head looked at the letter fearfully.  
  
Harry held up the letter and shakily read out loud, "'Dear Mr. Potter and Mr. Malfoy, in a few days the Ministry of Magic will be sending over a group of aurors,' oh god! 'for an inspection due to the criminal, Jederkus Tye. Sincerely Cornelius Fudge.'"  
  
"Oh what horrible news!" Draco said dramatically, on the point of fainting.  
  
"Burn it! Burn it and bury it!" Harry threw the letter to the floor.  
  
"Oh god," Hermione sighed exasperatedly, "you sons of bitches are the most dramatic pair I've ever met, grow up!"  
  
**Friday**-Snape A Hippie!?  
  
The mysterious...ok not so mysterious, man sat in his chair enjoying a blueberry muffin, watching the tv screens while taking care of his joystick...once again.  
  
"'Orny ba'tards, 'ey are. Hm! An' on Chist'as 'oo!" he said through his stuffed mouth, watching as Colin and Blaise went through an orgasm, he looked at a different tv.  
  
This one had Pansy opening her presents happily. The man took a closer look and pumped himself faster when he notice exactly what Pansy got for Christmas.  
  
He swallowed his food. "Damn! Either her family's sex crazed or her friends are helping her get lucky...maybe the latter...yeah," he took another bite of his muffin. "Mmm..._gooood_."  
  
He looked at another screen. His eyes widened when he saw Harry and Draco doing naughty things with the Christmas presents they gave each other.  
  
"Whoa! Too strong even for me!" he looked away then glanced back; he was pretty much staring at the couple for what seemed to be hours before he came back to his senses. He looked down and realized he was harder than ever. "NO! NO, NO NOOO! I like women! Naked women!" he forced himself to look away.  
  
The next one was barely as interesting as the one from before, it just had Ron napping, he looked like he was clutching something that wasn't really there.  
  
The next one had Hermione searching the dorm desperately for her third missing stash.  
  
"Bwahahahahaaaa! Keep searching sweet cheeks!" he laughed, patting three small bags full off gumballs on his right, "you'll _neeeeva_ find 'em."  
  
He came unexpectedly. The man blinked at his deflating size then cleaned his hand with a napkin that lay on his desk.  
  
"Well then," he said, taking a quill and dipping it in ink. "Potter didn't work out very well so the next shall be," he looked down at his list of victims then at the tv screens, he grinned and circled a name, "her...ahahahahahaaa-ehhhh it's not that funny..."  
  
He looked at one of the screens and whipped out his wand, he flicked it on a tv and it changed uh...channels...  
  
"Lets see how the greasy haired git is doing," he grinned looking at the screen. "...Lord kill him now..." he breathed when he watched Snape check himself out in front of a mirror.  
  
What scared any future boners off him was that Snape was dressed in hippie clothes, flashing peace signs at his reflections. "I wonder..." the potions professor said to himself, turning and looking at the reflection of his bum, "do these pants make my arse look too big?"  
  
The man fell off his chair in a dead faint.

* * *

Soz if it was short or...something else...I had I bit of a writers block for this one, but now I have a pretty good idea for the next chapter! Review please! 


	13. Fallen Warrior

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry....I sounded professional...or something lol

THANKS FOR DA REVIEWS!

**Inylan**: yup they are...and this chappy is killer weird for me lol

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**Shadow Psi**: chain me to a desk? 0.0 COOL! But I updated anyway heehee

**DavePotter**: thank you (curtsy) yup I never really planned on making Hermione gumball obsessed but it came out...now fear the ending of this chapter lol

**JesPaiTha**: WOOOOOOHOO! (dances) YAAAAY! ok lol, calming down, the mystery dude comes up more in this chappy hope you like!

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**fish057**: ah yes the ending might leave you wanting for more...I think lol

**thedarkside45**: lol Snapes booty lol

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ok the ending of this chappy might freak you out...probably not but oh well, I guess the **warning** here is that there still some sexual situations and now a bit of drug use (lol that sounds so much like those things on the ratings) it's the first time I actually put drug use use in a fic so it might not come out right...I got inspired by it from a IM chat with a friend lol it was way too funny

oh and say Happy B-Day to me sissy she's now twelve years old! TEEHEE! Ok now onto fic!

* * *

Chapter Thirteen: Fallen Warrior

* * *

"How was your week?" Mrs. Honeydukes asked, taking off her winter coat along with Mr. Honeydukes's.  
  
"Good," Draco and Harry said together, grinning at Wednesday's events.  
  
"Oh, a couple of Aurors are gonna come and inspect the shop in a few days," Harry spoke up, remembering the letter.  
  
"Inspecting?" Mr. Honeydukes blinked.  
  
"The prankster put some muggle drug in Zonkos products and they think it's in our stuff too," Draco shrugged.  
  
"Muggle drug? What kind of drug."  
  
"Heroine...right?" the blond looked over at the nodding Gryffindor.  
  
"The prankster did it right?" Mr. Honeydukes asked, both teens nodded, "THEN HE'S THE BLOODY GIT WHO BROKE MY FUCKING LEG!"  
  
"Hank!" Annabelle glared at her husband.  
  
"Well it's true! That Jerderkus Tye bastard pushed me down the stairs and I broke my blinking leg on one of those bloody boxes!"  
  
Mrs. Honeydukes sighed, "Hank if you're mature enough I'm hoping you can work today?"  
  
"Not with that bastard in my head! He almost made me lose my own limb! I'll get him if it's the last thing I do! Rip him apart with my own bare hands!" Harry and Draco made faces when foam started coming out of the mans mouth, "break his bones and tear his lungs!"  
  
"Oh...dear god," Mrs. Honeydukes shook her head, "come on, we're going back to St. Mungo's. Sorry dears," she turned to the disgusted boys', "looks like you'll have to watch over the store for a while longer." She grabbed her husbands' hand and they both disapparated.  
  
"..._Soooo_..." Harry grinned, turning to the blond, "now what?"  
  
"What I just witnessed was the most disgusting thing I've ever seen," Draco said, touching his stomach as if he was going to vomit.  
  
"You haven't met my cousin Dudley then."  
  
"...I don't wanna know."  
  
"So anyway!" he sat on the counter, "now what?"  
  
The Slytherin Prince grinned mischievously, "I have an idea," he sat on the counter and gracefully (as always) sat on the raven heads lap, "you interested?"  
  
"All the time," Harry leaned forward, planning to capture the boys' lips if SOMEONE hadn't opened the door and interrupted the moment!  
  
Pansy and the others walked inside the shop, Hermione fuming because her latest stash was stolen again.  
  
"Hey guys, how's it goin'?" Pansy said, sucking on a lollipop. Draco pouted and buried his face in Harry's neck.  
  
"Ever learn when to knock...or look through a window to check if we're busy or not?" Harry asked grumpily.  
  
"You weren't so mad about it a few days ago," she crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow with the lollipop in her mouth giving the effect that she looked like she was smoking.  
  
"They paid for the show," Draco defended, looking up at the girl.  
  
"Paid?" Ron blinked, "wait a minute...are you telling me you shagged in public and was paid for it?"  
  
"Yep, we made so many galleons that I lost count!"  
  
"...Hmm...ok so you're both, like...porn stars?"  
  
Harry thought about it for a moment then nodded happily. "Tis a fun job!"  
  
"Having twenty orgasms a day...what fun...wait that is fun! You lucky bastards!"  
  
"Thank you!" they both said.  
  
"...Don't do that...please...you remind me of Fred and George."  
  
"So?"  
  
"It's creepy."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"We just came here for a little inspection," Pansy smiled widely, taking out her wand.  
  
"What for?" Harry eyed the wand.  
  
"To check if there really is heroine in the candies...and because I'm curious..."  
  
"Of what?"  
  
"Uh...how it's like...I mean I've heard a bunch of people say it makes you feel good so..." she left the sentence hanging.  
  
"Oh, ok then," the raven head shrugged and took out his wand. "DESTINATION! BASEMENT!" Everyone stared at him, "what?"  
  
"You guys go on and get high, I need to make a FIFTH stash now," Hermione walked lazily to the gumball filled jars.

* * *

The masturbating guy watched one of the tv's amusedly, he was watching a cartoon about three kids who scam on the children who thought them as losers, todays episode involved the leader of the three boys going crazy because-  
  
"Oh...heehee, wrong channel," the man blushed lightly and switched the channel with his wand. Now he was watching Harry and the others looking through the crates in the basement. "What the bloody hell are they doing?"  
  
After seeing Snape in a hippie outfit the guy didn't masturbate for the rest of the day and todays morning. But now that he saw Harry and Draco he remembered what he saw yesterday. To his horror his manhood became alive again and shot up, hard as ever.  
  
"All this time!" he said dramatically, unzipping his pants and pumping himself, "all this time I thought I was straight and NOW I get horny by watching two guys do the nasty! Oh the horror..." he shut up and continued to watch the teens search through the boxes.

* * *

"I think I found something," Draco said, opening the wrappers to chocolate frogs, the frog looked a lighter color, like a powdery color.  
  
The others rushed over to the blond and his discovery. "He must have combined the drug and chocolate frogs together with a spell," Pansy said, studying the chocolate frog.  
  
"Or," Ron suggested, "he probably went into the chocolate frog making factory and dumped the stuff in the mix."  
  
"Oh right," she blushed lightly, "that's even more possible."  
  
"Well, go ahead and try it."  
  
"What?"  
  
"You said you were curious, so try it," Harry said, everyone else nodded.  
  
"Ok...you guys sound like those people in those muggle commercials where they pressure someone to try drugs," she stepped back a little.  
  
"Muggle commercials?" Draco blinked, not know that Pansy owned a television.  
  
"Don't ask...just...don't," she looked at the frog, "uh...bottoms up?" she took a bite of the frog.  
  
Everyone watched in baited breath as the Slytherinette slowly smiled goofily and fell to the floor.  
  
"The frog killed Pansy," Ron picked up the bitten frog and shook a fist at it, "you bastard!"  
  
"Ron you sound like that guy from South Park," Harry said, twitching a little in his effort to not laugh.  
  
"South Park?" he asked curiously.  
  
"Muggle show...funny one too..."  
  
Their attention returned to Pansy as she rolled over on her back, the goofy expression still on her face, she hugged herself and closed her eyes in joy.  
  
"So...how is it?" Draco stood over the girl.  
  
"It's the best! Try it!"  
  
Ron handed the bitten frog to the blond but he jumped away in disgust. "Ew! No it's been bitten!" he missed the finger the redhead sent him when he turned away to get a different chocolate frog.

* * *

The man blinked at the screen and laughed his little butt off so hard that he fell off his chair. "OH GOD!" he shouted, "I NEVER THOUGHT I'D SEE THE DAY WHEN HAHAHAHAAAAA!!! HARRY POTTER AND HIS FRIENDS BECOME DRUG ADDICTS!!!!!! HAHAAA!! TOO FUNNY! TOO FUCKING FUNNY!!!!"  
  
He looked up at the group of teens on the tv and laugh again when they were all on the floor, practically writhing in pleasure of the drug.  
  
"Aw crud," he pouted when he became hard again after seeing Draco and Harry on top of each other doing things that even in their sane minds they wouldn't even think of doing.  
  
As he pumped himself again he looked at a different screen and saw Hermione sitting on the ground against the shelves, holding a small bag of gumballs close to her, she had an insane face that just screamed 'touch this and you'll be sent to oblivion'.  
  
"Hmm..." he grinned and came, spilling his hand with his cum, _"victim, victim, how lonely you stand,"_ he sang, "or sit," he cackled in evil laughter.

* * *

The group of high teens crawled their way up from the basement, laughing their cute lil bums off from who knows what.  
  
"Oh hello Hermy-ninny!" Ron said in slurred words.  
  
"Shut it!" she held her treasure close to her, "he's coming!" she hissed.  
  
"Coming who's?" Harry said in backwards fashion, Draco fell down, pulling him with him. "Hello, my name is...uh...heehee I forgot!"  
  
"Me too!" they proceeded to kiss rather sloppily, hands exploring each others bodies and already breathing heavily.  
  
Pansy sighed happily and lay her head on Ron's lap. "Me tired," she said in slurry quietness.  
  
"He's close," Hermione hugged her fifth stash so tightly it might as well have merged with her, "so very close," she hissed in a whisper.  
  
"I think I left my teddy home, mommy," Ron murmured in his sleep. His hands found Pansy's sleeping form, "oh no wait...I have it...snuggly soft."  
  
The door opened and Colin and Blaise burst in. "He's coming here!" Blaise shouted, holding up his disk gadget. Colin looked at everyone in the shop.  
  
"You guys had a party or something?" he raised an eyebrow at the sleeping duo and the shagging couple.  
  
"No they're just high," Hermione answered shortly, darting her eyes around the shop, "he'll be here...AND I'LL FIGHT HIM! MWAHAHAAA!"  
  
"Uh..." Colin turned to his boyfriend, "_riiight_..." he took out his wand and waved it to the high teens, after muttering a spell Pansy and Ron woke up.  
  
"Oh! Jeeze!" Ron's face resembled his hair as he shot his hands back, he had woken up to find his hands on certain spots they should not have been on a girls body.  
  
"Sorry!" Pansy sat up quickly, blushing madly. After a few seconds of embarrassment they realized they had a splitting headache. "Ow...ow...ack somebody kill me-I wasn't serious!" she added seeing Blaise take out his wand.  
  
Colin looked at his wand in confusion, "huh?" Harry and Draco were still shagging.  
  
"Wow they're good," Blaise grinned, watching as Draco quickly dominated Harry and started going in and out of him.  
  
"More!" the raven head pulled him closer.  
  
"Quidditch does wonders to the body," Colin commented, seeing the prefectly toned muscles on both boys'. "I wonder why my spell didn't work on them," he looked at his wand and checked if it was broken.  
  
"No, that's just what they usually do," shrugged Blaise.  
  
"Oooh...I heard they became porn stars."  
  
"You don't say."  
  
"Yeah, Luna told me, she says they did a bit of a show here a few days ago."  
  
"Cool."  
  
The door opened but they ignored it.  
  
"How long do you think their career will stay?" Blaise asked.  
  
"Until they've stopped being hot."  
  
"Ah...good point."  
  
"Hum-hum!"  
  
"AH IT'S UMBRIDGE! EVERY MAN FOR HIMSELF!" shouted the dark haired Slytherin.  
  
"No it's me!" said the person. Everyone turned to him.  
  
"Who?" Ron asked, standing up.  
  
"You know, the prankster guy," he shrugged. Hermione's pupils turned really tiny in anger, she stood up, anger flaring so dangerously you could have sworn her hair blew in her fury.  
  
_"You!"_ she said menacingly, pointing a finger at him.  
  
"Yep, me," he grinned, crossing his arms, he spotted Harry and Draco and his stick became alive again.  
  
"You stole my stashes! Give them back before I-"  
  
"Hold that thought," he looked around and hid behind a shelf. Everyone blinked but waited patiently until he was done with his jack off session. He returned zipping his pants and wiping his hand with a handkerchief, "now," he pocketed the handkerchief, "what were you saying?"  
  
"Huh?" Hermione blinked then remembered what she was supposed to say. "Oh right. GIMMIE BACK MY STASH BEFORE I RIP OFF YOUR FUCKING PENIS!"  
  
His hand went to his manhood protectively, "no," he said nervously.  
  
"Then suffer the consequences," she pulled out a humongous kitchen knife from her robes.  
  
"You carry that around with you!" Ron jumped in shock.  
  
"Yeah so?" she steadily walked to the man with the knife raised. "Everyone out! This is between me, him, and my gumballs!"  
  
"Dra-Drake," Harry managed to get out.  
  
"Hmm?" the blond was busy sucking on one of Harry's nipples.  
  
"'Mi-Mione's gotta big ass-_oohh_-kitchen knife...w-we should _goooo_ now."  
  
"Awww!"  
  
They stood up, dressed themselves and ran with the others out of the shop.  
  
"What's going on?" Parvati asked, seeing the group run out of the shop.  
  
"The prankster's in there and Hermione's gonna cut out his cock," Colin answered calmly. Parvati's eyes widened.  
  
"With _what!?_"  
  
"A kitchen knife."  
  
"Oh...oh my god what's happening?" she said in a rush. The windows of the shop began to darken to black; the last thing everyone saw was Hermione raising her knife to Jederkus.  
  
"Guess we'll have to wait," shrugged Blaise, hugging the shivering Colin. It was winter, what'd ya expect.  
  
"Not that I care or anything," Parvati said nervously, "but what happens if she dies? The guy's a murderer!"  
  
"You're not a good actress," Ron said dully, "you _liiiike_ her."  
  
"Shut your face!" she received murderous glare from Pansy, "what?"  
  
"What's going on? Honeydukes closing down?" Ginny asked, walking to the group.  
  
"Nope, Hermione's fighting the prankster," Harry answered.  
  
"Oh cool...now...who is the prankster?"  
  
It must have been hours of waiting out in the cold winter snow, everyone was beginning to shiver and huddle together. Eventually the group became a crowd, everyone waited for the victorious person to walk out of the store.  
  
Through their wait Harry and Draco told everyone about the next show they'd be doing soon which everyone was excited to hear.  
  
Oh and they also heard shouts and threats coming from the shop like "Back away you crazy bitch!", "give me back my gumballs you masturbating git!", "gumball whore!" and "I'll give you until the count of three to hand over my gumballs safely or say goodbye to mister happy broomstick, one...two...three! Alright you asked for it!"  
  
There was silence for a long while, the smoked windows started to fade away slowly and everyone could see a figure running to the door only to be pulled back. Parvati gasped, even though she tried to hold it down.  
  
Finally the door opened and the windows went back to normal. Everyone gasped.  
  
"Oh my god," breathed Draco.  
  
"I don't believe it," Harry rubbed his eyes and looked again.  
  
"It can't be..." Ron took a step back.  
  
"Bloody hell," gasped Pansy.  
  
There was a thud, a few people looked down and saw that Parvati had fainted, they looked back that the person.  
  
"Her-Hermione?" Ginny asked a bit fearfully.  
  
(turn the camera to Hermione)  
  
There she stood, in a long white dress and sandals, a peace symbol hung around her neck and there was a head band on her head.  
  
"Peace and love to you all," she gave them the peace sign, few there who were hippies returned the peace sign, but our main people, one by one, fainted from shock.

* * *

lol, I couldn't resist, but anyway, sorry if this took a while! Review please! 


	14. He's Arrested? Wow That Was Fast

Disclaimer: mwahahaha I don't own Harry Potter....haha...right....

THANKS FOR THE REVIEWS! (cries)

**thedarkside45**: oh heehee I forgot to mention that in this chappy so it'll be answered on the next one hee...

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**RootbeerFloat**: thanks, oh and just as requested I made a detailed D/H moment...but I'm not really sure with how it turned out (shrugs)

**Jaded Winter**: I bet they'd let you watch, they always love an audience heehee

**CrazyLake42**: lol really? Wow awesome! (dances)

**Taekrsbass**: yes! she must survive! but we don't see her usual self in this chappy lol

**Isis-mystic**: gumballs!? YAY!!! I WOULD DEFINITLY SETTLE FOR THAT!

**HOnEySky**: who knows, Hermione can be very violent sometimes, just look at what she did to Draco on third year, the poor boy lol

**Swiftrunner**: ....maybe...- but who knows! lol

**Nichole08**: they might....heheheh but you'll find out on the next chappy

**Kikirini-chan**: lol, yes she has lost it

**afichicka**: okeedoky (takes sharpie and signs butt) Without permission's too long so I'll settle for...W...p...yeah! lol

**Ryan's-heart's-desire**: lol, yes thank bloody god he's not gay, lol thanks! (returns hug)

**JesPaiTha**: lol so would I...and about the mans stick (looks down at chappy) he does some _weeiiirrrd_ shit...

**oOWeasleyWizardWheezesOo**: yep, the poor guy...lol thanks!

**reflectivelvet**: lol thank you!

**xXxIce.PrincessxXx**: who knows, here's the update! AND YOU LUCKY (beep) YOU HAVE THE SOUNDTRACK! Damn, I really need to find a cd store around here...lol

**DavePotter**: heehee soz 'bout the drug part, I was in a weird zone so...yeah...anyway, thanks!

**Shadow Psi**: heheh she probably did...lol

**Beautiful Willow**: lol she'll come back...SHE HAS TOO (looks nervous) heheh and more D/Hness on the way!

**Ovens=friends**: continuing....(presses button) now!

**corae**: number one? (cries) THANK YOU! HUGS!! Hermione fucking the prankster (ponders) how...interesting lol

**Sara**: uh thanks, who's Jessica? (blink)

**anoniminimus**: WOOOHOOO! thanks!!

**SlytherinBaBe**: lol thanks!

**Willow Earthflame**: SCARY HIPPIE!? (shrinks away but presses update button) uh heheheh...

**Lyndsay-Marie**: lol yes they are...at least for that chapter lol

**Chang Wumei**: lol, the Prankster dude is one very odd character...but yeah, he's rude..

**Eternal Spark**: a lot of random things lol...by the way (blinks) what's RMAOL? heheh, curse me brain

**sexAy-iranian23**: a lot of stuff here would probably make people make a double take and go 'whaaaa?' lol thanks!

**Morwen and the little one**: heheh soz Morwen but now you've got yer detailed shagging, oh and yeah I suddenly realized how lonely the dude was hee....he's kind of an oddball really lol

(chewing blissfully) I finally got a gumball! Except it's got nerds inside not cherry ooze (shrugs) it's still good though (continues to chew) Soz this took a few days but I was getting horrible writers block...sadly though, the last chappy will be the next one, on the lighter hand you'll all get your sequel!  
  
**Warning**: as you all wanted, or a few of you I guess, I wrote in a detailed smut scene between our main dudes, I hope you like it! I still don't really know what I did really...  
  
Draco: Ignore her and just read the fucking story goddamnit!  
  
Harry: Draco! Such language!  
  
Draco:...shut up, lets shag  
  
Harry: 'kay

* * *

Chapter Fourteen: He's arrested? Wow That Was Fast

* * *

Our main dudes and dudettes woke up from their faint seconds later and stared up at the hippie Hermione who whipped out a pair of sunglasses with round lenses and put them on.  
  
"Hermione," Ron said, standing up, "you're pulling our leg aren't you?"  
  
"Pulling your leg?" she cocked her head to the side, "why would I do that?"  
  
Blaise crawled away from the shocked group and went inside the shop with Colin.  
  
"He left," he muttered, looking around the empty yet trashed shop.  
  
"Look, he left a note," Colin took the piece of paper taped to the window, his boyfriend walked over and they read the note.  
  
**_ Haha! One down, nine to go!  
_**  
"What is he trying to do? Create and army of hippies or something!?" Blaise exclaimed.  
  
"Probably," Colin shrugged before turning to the shop, "haha, Draco and Harry have a _lot_ of work to do."  
  
"Look," Blaise picked up the kitchen knife that lay on the ground, "she did it," there was blood stained on the blade, realization caught on them, "UGH! GROSS!" he dropped the knife and they exited the shop.  
  
"We'll bring her back to Hogwarts," Ron said, nodding his head to Hermione who was having an exciting conversation with her fellow hippies about S.P.E.W.  
  
"Uh...right, whoa! No need to hurry," Harry said, letting himself get pulled by the blond Slytherin.  
  
"Look at this mess," Draco said angrily, gesturing to the thrown sweets and papers everywhere. "If I ever see that Jerderkus guy I'm gonna push right in front of a dementor and force it to give him a kiss."  
  
"Right, of course you will," the raven head said dully, pulling out his wand and waving it to the thrown candies.  
  
"You know I will," Draco pulled out his own wand and helped Harry clean up the mess, "EW!!! THAT'S DISGUSTING!!!"  
  
"What is? My ass?" he wiggled it teasingly before facing the blond, "OH YUCKIES THROW THAT IN THE TRASH!"  
  
Draco, in his disgust, jabbed his wand in a different direction sending the knife flying out of the store. There was a pause then a loud painful shriek that belonged to Zacharias Smith.  
  
Harry blinked and tried to hold back a laugh. Draco looked horrified and paled; he turned back to the raven head. "We mention this to no one."  
  
"Right, sure," he said in his shaky attempt to not laugh.

* * *

"Stupid, scanky little BITCH!" the man murmured, working his hands quickly on the products that lay before him, "thank fucking god she's a hippie now!"  
  
The door creaked open but he ignored it.  
  
"Ouch! It burns!" he howled. The door slammed shut and he looked over at it. "Shit," he muttered.

* * *

"Now lie down and try to remember your old bitchy self," Ron soothed, pushing Hermione on the sofa.  
  
"But I need to tell everyone else about S.P.E.W.," she protested.  
  
"Crud," he sighed, turning away, "ok, news flash girlfriend, nobody cares about spew! The house-elves like being slaves!"  
  
"Ron, don't anger her, you know how she gets," Ginny muttered.  
  
"She's not gonna kill me, she's HIPPIE remember? You know, opposing the violence," he muttered back.  
  
"What? I meant S.P.E.W. as in Stop Pollution Engulfing the World!" Hermione said, making the two Weasleys a bit confused.  
  
There was a pause and Ron walked out of the common room, "god I need a bottle of firewhisky."  
  
"Ronald Wheezy, sir!" Dobby bumped into the redhead.  
  
"Wheezy? It's Weasley...whatcha want? And do you happen to have a bottle of firewhisky?"  
  
"No sir, Dobby has found a stranger in room of requirement, sir!"  
  
"Who?" Ginny rushed over, "was it a guy with brown hair?"  
  
"Yes Miss, Dobby saw him!" he jumped, almost making the stack of hats on his head fall, "Dobby saw him when Dobby was taking Winky to rest."  
  
"Uh...where IS Winky?" Ron asked, noticing the absence of the drunk house-elf.  
  
"She-" he stopped and his eyes quickly went tiny as realization dawned on him, "Dobby will show you the stranger."  
  
Both Weasleys ran after the dashing house-elf leaving Hermione to talk to the other Gryffindors, convincing them about her version of S.P.E.W.

* * *

"Oh thank god," sighed Draco, collapsing on his bum. The shop was spick and span clean, glittering before them, "now if I have to do this again, the next person I see in the future will be murdered muggle style."  
  
"You like getting you're hands dirty don'tcha?" grinned Harry, sitting down next to him.  
  
"No, but if it deals with violence or revenge than I don't mind at all."  
  
"Oh, good for you," he clapped lazily, "heh, we're stuck here alone again, have you noticed that? We're always here alone."  
  
"Yep, another thing I don't mind at all," he leaned closer, whispering into the boys' ear, he could feel him shiver. "You?" he smirked.  
  
"Nope, don't mind either."  
  
"Good," his voice went husky. He trailed his hands against the raven heads body, sliding down to his favorite spot just below the waist. He smirked again when he gripped Harry's growing erection and caused him to groan aloud.  
  
He snaked a tongue out and licked a spot on the Gryffindors neck, making tiny circles before he started sucking. His other hand slipped under Harry's shirt, feeling the warm smooth skin as he moved up and down, making sure he'd stop at the boys' sensitive spot where he'd arch his back in pleasure.  
  
"Like that?" he whispered, pushing the raven head down so that he could lie on top of him.  
  
"Obviously," Harry breathed out, pulling the blond closer, their erections collided causing heated ecstasy to vibrate through their bodies, "oh god..." he groaned, pulling Draco closer again, wanting to feel the pleasure again.  
  
"You-_ooohhh_-say that all the ti-_mph!_" he was stopped by a mouth captured his own. He quickly took charges to his own and sucked mercilessly on the raven heads bottom lip before dipping his tongue in his mouth, wrestling with it, neither won so they just settled to soothing the others mouths.  
  
The need of oxygen became too great, they separated and quickly disrobed themselves, not caring of a few people outside walking by saw them stark naked, that is, if anyone ever thought of looking through the window.  
  
Once they were in their naked beauty Draco started rubbing his erection against the other boys' in a rhythmical motion. Harry fell into beat, moaning in pleasure at the feel of skin rubbing against skin. He whined lightly when the blond suddenly stopped. Their heat caused them to sweat and pant from their recent activities.  
  
"Don't...stop," Harry panted. The Slytherin grinned mischievously before lowering himself and closing his mouth over the Gryffindors' hard nipple, his tongue circling around it as he sucked hard, he brushed his fingers against the other nipple causing Harry to arch his back at the feathery touch and groan.  
  
The blond grinned and dragged his tongue to the nipple that was brushed; he loved making these reactions to the teen.  
  
Harry fluttered his eyes closed, his back arched again and his mouth was slightly open, he wanted more now, and the pain from his throbbing happy stick was becoming to much for him.  
  
"Oh, Draco, fuck me," he almost cried out, half realizing that he was the one that always said that.  
  
"With pleasure," he kissed him again and spread the begging boys' legs by sliding his hands up from the Gryffindors' inner thighs. He trailed his kisses to Harry neck, planning on giving him a hickey that would last until tomorrow night. Meanwhile the raven head reached for his wand and summoned a small container of lube.  
  
Draco had to admit, for a second he thought he'd be hexed but Harry set down his wand and went to covering the blonds' erection with the lube, very much enjoying the Slytherin sucking on his neck.  
  
"Ok," he said, getting the blond off his neck so that he could position himself before entering him.  
  
Thanks to the lube Draco slid into the other boy easily, both groaned slightly as he went all the way, hitting the soft spot in Harry, he arched his back once again and let out a moan. The blond smirked and went out all the way to the tip before going back in, going faster and harder, knowing how Harry liked it.  
  
The shop was filled with cries of blissful ecstasy as their beat became faster. Draco slowed their pace when he knew he'd come soon, he gripped the raven heads erection and pumped at the same pace, gripping harder when he came inside him.  
  
_"Draco!"_ Harry cried before he came and spilled his cum over their stomachs. The blond extracted himself from him and licked the cum from the Gryffindor's stomach.  
  
"So?" he said breathlessly, panting as much as the other teen, "what should we do for our little show on Tuesday?"

* * *

"There, thank bloody god for body repair products," sighed the man, standing up and shaking his hips to try out his fixed uh...manhood...  
  
The door opened the second time making him jump.  
  
"Oh my god," Ron paled and turned a shade of green as he covered his mouth with his hand.  
  
"Whoa," Ginny blushed lightly, "nice size..."  
  
"Thank you, it's beautiful isn't-what are you doing here?" he walked to them, not bothering to pull up his pants.  
  
"Arresting you of course, Jerderkus," Blaise appeared next to the two redheads, his arms crossed and Colin by his side. He held the disk in his hand that was finally working perfectly.  
  
"Oh for Merlin's sake pull up your fucking pants!" Colin said in disgust, he suddenly froze as well as Blaise.  
  
"Wait-you-Hermione-knife-UGH! THAT IS DISTURBING, DISGUSTING, REPULSIVE AND JUST RUDDY GROSS!" the Slytherin shouted.  
  
"Whatever," he rolled his eyes, "besides, you can't arrest me, what are you gonna do? Whip out handcuffs and turn me in the ministry?" and that's exactly what they did, the handcuff thing at least, "bloody hell..."  
  
"Could sir get out now? Winky needs her rest," Dobby said nervously, pointing to the unconscious house-elf on the floor.  
  
"You'll never take me alive!" shouted Jederkus, pulling up his pants and running to a window. One problem though, he tripped over one of his many Wicked Witches magazines.  
  
"Um...ok then," Ron and the others walked over to the fallen criminal and cuffed him.  
  
"Ow...not so tight that hurts," he pouted as he was roughly pulled up.  
  
"We have a few questions though," Ginny said, walking with the group as they headed towards Dumbledore's office, "what the fuck was with the hippie thing? I mean come on that shit just freaked me out to no fucking end." The teens and criminal looked at her in surprise, "what? So I swore, is that a problem?"  
  
"My innocent little sister," Ron said tearfully.  
  
"Oh shut up, you know I'm not innocent anymore. So anyway," she looked at Jederkus, "what was with the hippie thing?"  
  
"I wanted to create an army of hippies," he said in a low voice, "TO CONTINUE ON VOLDEMORTS FOOTSTEPS!"  
  
"Oh...well you do realize that hippies oppose war right?" Blaise raised an eyebrow at the man.  
  
"Yeah so? Peace and love is what I was going for."  
  
"That wasn't what You-Know-Who was going for," Colin blinked, "you're out of your bloody rocker."  
  
"Cherry gumballs," Ginny said to the stone gargoyle, it stepped aside and the group walked up to the spiraling staircase which now had music from Led Zepplin in the background. "Hey they're not bad," the redhead said as she listened to the music.  
  
"Oh no, she's turning into a hippie!" Ron jumped away from her, almost falling off the stairs.  
  
"Just because I said I liked music from when hippies were alive does not mean that I am turning into one," she glared at her brother.  
  
"Dumbledore!" Blaise said, knocking on the door, "we caught him!"  
  
"Come on in dudes!"  
  
They opened the door and they stepped inside, Cornelius Fudge was sitting on one of the pillows along with Tonks and Kingsley. The three of them were reading a few papers with a lot of interest.  
  
"Those poor animals," Tonks said sadly, "how dare they!"  
  
"Tye!" Fudge had looked up and found Jederkus standing between the teens handcuffed, "you kids caught him?"  
  
"Yup! Do we get a reward?" Ron asked, smacking the arrested man in the back so that he'd stumble forward to the minister.  
  
"Of course!" Fudge looked like Christmas had come early.  
  
"My army will save me!" hissed Jederkus, struggling to take out something from his back pocket, the teens surrounding him quickly pulled their wands out. "Aha!" he took out a silver remote and pressed a button.  
  
Nothing happened; everyone looked around expecting hippies to jump out from the walls and windows.  
  
"What button did I press?" Jederkus asked dully.  
  
"Um..." Ron looked behind the man to where his finger was still on the button, "the blue one."  
  
"AW FUCK!" he shouted, dropping the remote and smashing it with his foot, "I should have never put that button there!" he kept stomping.  
  
Like the dumbass bad guy he was, he had added the Hippie De-Activating button.  
  
"Come on, Jederkus," Fudge said standing up. "I know a cell in Azkaban that has your name written all over it."  
  
"No wait, I'll make a deal!"  
  
"No."  
  
"I was possessed I swear! Some horny weird spirit went in me and made me do all the stuff I did! I swear to god!"  
  
"Right sure."  
  
"Peace and love! It's all I was trying to do! Seriously!"  
  
"By possessing other students, Tye?" everyone looked at the headmaster, he stood up and walked over to the handcuffed man.  
  
"Yes-no! I was just making them see the light!" Jederkus argued.  
  
"By forcing them with illegal spells and curses?" Dumbledore raised an eyebrow.  
  
"You were possessed?" Ron asked suddenly.  
  
"What? No way dude," he turned back the Jederkus who was quickly racking his thoughts on how to slip out of being sent to Azkaban, "REPEAT AFTER ME!" he boomed making the young man jumped and quiver. "This world!"  
  
"Th-this wo-"  
  
"I said repeat after me! This world is..."  
  
"This world is," he almost fell from his shaky legs.  
  
"THIS WORLD IS MADE OF PEACE AND LOVE!" he held up a peace sign making Jederkus fall flat on his ass.  
  
"Right on!" shouted Tonks and Kingsley, raising their fist.

* * *

Ok....heheh soz if this took long...AND BEFORE I FORGET! That lil scene with the 'repeat after me' thing, I snatched that lil snippet from Trigun, I couldn't help it, it was my favorite part! Review please! 


	15. It's All Solved Out

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter (blink blink...cries)

Thanks For the Reviews!

**Psi**: Ok lol

**Jaded Winter**: lol yes poor Zacharias, thanks!

**Isis-mystic**: glad you like it!

**harleythekat**: yup this is the last chapter, but I'm writing the sequel! heeehee thank you!

**Nichole08**: thank you, updated now! lol

**oOWeasleyWizardWheezesOo**: the story's over, but there's still the sequel!

**DavePotter**: thank you!

**PotionsPet**: really? COOL! Yippee! lol

**Ryan's-heart's-desire**: hurray for the Psycho!Tom lol thanks

**sexAy-iranian23**: yup I'm doin' da sequel (points to file that has sequel written on it) yup

**heart and soul**: A genius? COOL!!!!!!!!!!

**Krissy**: I fixed it up...I think...if I didn't then oopsy again

**YamiYumes**: YES VASH! I've just started seeing the series and I already luv him! He's so adorable lol

**reflectivelvet**: not much action here but there will be in the sequel (hint hint)

**xXxIce.PrincessxXx**: your mum was behind you, man that had to be hard to read with the parent behind ya lol

**plaintosee**: uh heh...well this is the last chapter soo....yeah...

**SpazMcG7**: yup, heehee LONG LIVE VASH!

**Crimson Colored Cloaked Figure**: yay an overly large teddy bear! (hugs it tightly) thank you!

**thedarkside45**: lol, yup I put the gumball thing here happy readings!

**Jax**: yes it is hee

**Lyndsay-Marie**: yeah, poor Jederkus, may the H/D pornstar thing continue! But in the sequel heheh, i forgot to add a bit of that here...

**Lillei**: no, that wasn't but this is (cries)

**RootbeerFloat**: yes this is the end, but there's a sequel so don't worry

**SlytherinGrlForever**: Yes wonder what it means...wait for the sequel though 'cause I didn't mention him here...hee oops

**CrazyLake42**: thanks here's the update!

**bleuvalentine**: thank you! HUGS!

**Yana5**: thank you!

**Chang Wumei**: lol, soz, it's stopped though so...yeah lol

**Shui-Wing0**: woohoo here's the chappy! Glad you're likin' it

**Empty**: (sniff) THANK YOU!!!

**darkangelfire**: yeah I know it was love and peace but I wanted to switch it since Dumbly kept saying Peace and Love and stuff so...yeah thanks! I inspire you (snff) wow, and yeah I kind of am working on a book but I need the money to publish it...oops lol

**darkmoon56**: here's the update! thank you!

I'm not really happy with how this chappy turned out but hopefully the sequel will turn out better. The last chapter has come at hand (cries) but the sequel is just around the corner!

Todays Thoughts:

'blah' = Pansy's thoughts

* * *

Chapter Fifteen: It's all solved out...sort of

* * *

"Move it along there Tye!" shouted Fudge, pushing the handcuffed man into the hall of cells.  
  
"Alright! Jeez, son of bitch," he muttered, he walked down the hallway saying random 'hi's' to a few friends. "Oh wait, can we stop right here for a mo'?" he asked innocently.  
  
"Fine," the minister huffed.  
  
"Merci," he turned to the occupied cell, "yo Malfoy!"  
  
"'Ey Tye!" the silver haired man stepped out of the shadows, he would have given Jederkus a big ass bear hug but the hexed bars stopped them.  
  
"Hey man, how's it going?"  
  
"Not too bad, service here's shit though, and the fuckin' dementors won't stop gliding about practically sayin' 'you have no life, you are shit, let me give you a French kiss' fucking loonies if you ask me."  
  
"Right, right," the murderer nodded in understanding.  
  
"So I see you got yourself arrested," he crossed his arms and looked at Jederkus' cuffed wrists, "what a shame."  
  
"What can I say?" he shrugged, "Potter and his freak of nature friends found me out."  
  
"Hippie thing didn't work out?"  
  
"Naw, naw, it worked fine but I put a fucking de-activating button on the freakin' switch. I think I was smoking weed when I was making the stupid switch."  
  
"You always are man," he shook his head, "so how's Narcissa and my gay ass son?"  
  
"Oh they're fine," he nodded, "you're wife's off in, what was it, Japan? And Draco's turned into a porn star with Potter."  
  
"Ah yes, the beautiful days of fifty orgasms a day for forty galleons an hour," his eyes sparkled as he put his hands together, "so how 'bout the drugs? Did that work at all?"  
  
"Yup, hid 'em in all the products. Draco and his friends tried 'em out...he ended up shagging Potter for like the hundredth time..."  
  
"...You ain't gettin' horny...are you?" he eyed him suspiciously.  
  
"...No..."  
  
"What the fuck do you call that!? I bone over your dick!?" he pointed to the mans' erection.  
  
"No, I'd call that a boner," Fudge suddenly said, looked at the bulge. He noticed the silence and looked up to see two incredulous prisoners. "Oh sorry," he turned away whistling.  
  
"So anyway, you didn't get to take over," Lucius shook his head, "fucking bugger."  
  
"Oy! I got the whole school to be hippies; shoot, even Dumbly-Wumbly became one! But I pressed the wrong BUTTON!"  
  
"Sure, whatever, you got any other plans?"  
  
"Not at the moment, but I want my bloody revenge!" he held his fist close to his face, "that Granger bitch nearly chopped off my fucking penis!"  
  
"Ouch man, haha! The mudblood almost chopped off your happy wand!?" he fell into a fit of laughter.  
  
"Halfway...BUT I GOT IT FIXED! See look," he uncuffed his wrists and unzipped his pants.  
  
"Uh-huh," Lucius tapped his chin as he examined the fixed dick, "looks almost brand new."  
  
"Yup," he pulled up, zipped his pants and recuffed himself. There was a pause, "...I just uncuffed myself and then recuffed myself didn't I?"  
  
"Sure did."  
  
He tried to uncuff himself again but failed. "AW SON OF A BITCH!"  
  
"Must've uncuffed yourself when you were paying attention to something else," he crossed his arms and nodded, "well since DA PLAN Didn't work, I'll be seein' ya," he waved him goodbye and walked back in shadows.  
  
"Yeah, sure. Au revoir as they say," he turned to the Minister, "point me to my death my good man."

* * *

"Oh Hermione!" Ron rushed over and hugged the unsuspecting girl tightly, "the bitch is back!"  
  
"Let go of me before I go all kun-fu on you!" screeched the brunette, prying the redhead off of her.  
  
"Yes! She is back! Thank you god!" he wiped a fake tear, "for listening to our prayers!"  
  
"Our?" Colin raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Ok mine, but you have to admit, seeing Hermione as a hippie's fucking crazy."  
  
"Hippie? Oh gag!" she looked at herself and found herself still dressed like a hippie, "MOVE AWAY COCKSUCKERS!" she pushed through her friends and a group of dazed and confused Gryffindors and towards the girls dorms.  
  
"Um...guess she didn't know she was a hippie," blinked Colin.  
  
"Oh well," Ron shrugged, "I'd better go meet Pansy, she said she needed to tell me something important."  
  
"Good luck," he waved him off.  
  
"For what?"  
  
"Uh...nothing?"  
  
"Ok," he walked off out of Gryffindor tower.  
  
The fire blew up and two people rolled out of the fireplace. Covered in soot and coughing lightly from swallowing ash.  
  
"What are you guys doing here?" Colin asked slowly, amused as the two boys stumbled to stand up.  
  
"We heard that Tye guy was arrested," Harry coughed.  
  
"I am NEVER traveling by floo powder ever again," Draco complained, "look at my clothes, do you have any _idea_ how much it cost? And it was made only for me too," he dusted himself, trying to get his expensive clothes clean. "Oh right, the Tye guy," he said immediately, seeing the look on his boyfriends face.  
  
"He was already sent to Azkaban. Blaise found out a whole bunch of things after we caught him," Colin replied, sitting down on one of the sofas.  
  
"So this is what Gryffindor looks like," Draco said looking around, "the red's a bit over used don't you think? Oh no," he spotted the other Gryffindors still in hippie clothes, "hippies! Hide me," he squealed hiding behind Harry.  
  
"They're not hippies anymore, they don't even know what happened, neither does Hermione," Colin assured.  
  
"Oh...so what's Blaise found out?"  
  
"Well it true that Jederkus put the drugs in the candies and Zonko's products, it's probably the reason why Hermione's been so addicted to gumballs, they had some drug in them too...can't remember what kind ? Heroine? Uh...and wasn't there that one that was called crystal or pot or something?" he tapped his chin then realized that the two soot covered boys were still listening, "oh any questions?"  
  
"That's it?" Draco nearly sputtered out.  
  
"Yeah, the rest was obvious, he wanted to create a hippie army and take over the world, y'know with peace and love and all...but in a creepy way."  
  
"Ah..." Harry nodded, "good thing you stopped him."  
  
"Yep, wouldn't want to see hippies everywhere, that's too scary," Draco shuddered, "what's even scarier is that Hermione actually got to cut off Tye's dick, that thing was way too happy and needed to die."  
  
"He put it back on, we caught him when he finished fixing it," sighed Colin, shuddering at the memory.  
  
"UGH! OH THAT'S DISGUSTING!" Harry gagged and pretended to throw up.  
  
"Yup, thank god he's in Azkaban now, where he'll rot his perverted ass and die or get a kiss from the dementors," there was a weird glint in his eye that made Harry and Draco take a step back and worry for the boys' sanity.  
  
"Did you find out whatever happened to Hermione's stashes?" Draco asked, wanting to change the subject.  
  
"Oh, yeah, Tye stole them, we found a lot of weird stuff in his hide-out, it was the room of requirement," he added seeing the boys confused looks.  
  
"What weird stuff did you find? They weren't whips or chains or any sexual objects and stuff there were there?" Draco asked curiously.  
  
"Oh, some were," the young Gryffindor quickly answered, "we found out he was watching over us through cameras or something, he even had a list of names on a paper, he was planning on turning us into hippies, freaky guy, he is."  
  
"That's why you got dressed in hippie clothes," Draco said turning to Harry, "that letter was from him, if you'd have left the clothes on any longer then you'd have mentally turned into a hippie."  
  
"Thank god I took 'em off then," the raven head sighed in relief, "what else did you find out," he asked the other Gryffindor.  
  
"Oh right you weren't there!" Colin realized this and went on a full on explanation about the device and how Dumbledore wasn't possessed but the whole school was.

* * *

"Ok, I'm here, what'd you want to tell me?" Ron said, stopping at the lake and looking at the girl with curiosity.  
  
"This is gonna be really hard to say," she kept her gaze to the ground and blushed lightly. "See, I...I-I..."  
  
_ "Pansy," Ron said softly, "it's ok, I know how you feel."  
  
"You do?" she looked up, hope in her eyes.  
  
The redhead nodded, "I feel the same way too, I always have," he stepped closer and put his hands on her shoulders.  
  
"You have?" she said softly, leaning closer to him. "Oh Ron..."  
  
"Pansy," he leaned closer until there was no space between them.  
_  
"Pansy?"  
  
The Slytherinette blinked and looked up at Ron. 'AW CRUD IT WAS ONLY A DAYDREAM!'  
  
"You got a leaf in your hair," he laughed lightly, pointing to the leaf that had fallen in her hair from the beech tree. Pansy blushed even more as Ron gently pulled it out.  
  
"So what's this important thing you needed to tell me?" he crossed his arms and waited patiently for her answer.  
  
"Um...heh..." she fiddled with her shirt, 'fuck this!' she took a step closer lay her lips on the shocked Gryffindor. She kept it that way for a few seconds before stepping back and running off to the castle.  
  
Ron watched her take off like no tomorrow; he lightly touched his lips and grinned. "I knew it," he said before walking back in the castle whistling to himself.

* * *

Days were passing...as usual. After the events of the hippie trance everyone felt like going all retro and stuck with the hippie clothes, much the our main dudes and dudettes distress. Harry and Draco still needed to work in Honeydukes, but like the good porn stars they were they still had their lil night shows.  
  
And Hermione, the gumball addict was still addicted to gumballs and had to go to rehabilitation everyday after classes, along with Parvati, who claimed she was addicted to seeing naked girls...right...

* * *

"Maybe there should be a bar installed here," Harry said idly as he wiped the counter with a damp rag.  
  
"Why a bar?" Draco asked, biting in a chocolate frog. The day was over but they still stuck around until their bosses returned from the Ministry of Magic. They and the Zonko's owners had to go on trial against Jederkus.  
  
"I dunno," shrugged Harry, "it could be open at night and when Honeydukes usually closes. Or it could be open day and night."  
  
"New business idea?" he walked over and leaned against the counter. "Interesting."  
  
"Yeah, in the day it's open for children and stuff while in the night it's open for adults."  
  
"Oh, I see where you're getting at this," Draco grinned, "but where would the bar be put?"  
  
"We could make the place big enough for a bar to be installed somewhere where the chocolates are at," Harry tapped his chin, "yeah, it'll be cool."  
  
"Sounds really interesting, but we need to ask Mr. and Mrs. Honeydukes about it," Draco was more than interested in the idea. "I'm liking the idea though, really intriguing."  
  
"If they say yes we can be able to get it installed next year," Harry continued to wipe the counter, "maybe Ginny could get a job here as a bartender, I heard she was pretty popular at the Three Broomsticks."  
  
"But she's already working with them," the blond frowned slightly.  
  
"Only on Saturday's," the Gryffindor shrugged, "besides if she works here then she could probably attract customers."  
  
"Ah," Draco tapped his chin and pictured the idea, "what should the bar look like?"  
  
"Dunno, but it could also be like a small restaurant, for tired customers who need a break and a snack," his mind was working quickly on the idea; he put away the apron and walked over to Draco.  
  
"Hmm...how about also adding an inn?" he let himself get embraced from the back. "Nah, there's probably too many inns already."  
  
"One more wouldn't hurt," he gently nipped and kissed the boys' neck.  
  
"I'm never gonna get tired of this," Draco barely said, leaning against the boy and craning his neck so Harry could get better access.  
  
The doors blew open and in rushed Pansy, Ron, Colin, Blaise, and a trailing Hermione.  
  
"GUYS YOU WON'T BELIEVE THIS!" shouted Blaise holding up the Daily Prophet.  
  
"How many times have they interrupted us?" Draco pouted.  
  
"I lost count," Harry answered sadly.  
  
"He escaped! Look! The Tye guy, he escaped!" Blaise ranted showing them the front page of the newspaper to them.  
  
"Oh great!" sighed Draco, he read the article out loud. "'The recently arrested Jederkus Tye has escaped from Azkaban once again.' He escaped before...oh wait, never mind 'People, muggles and wizards alike must be aware that he is armed with a wand he's stolen, aurors are on the look out for Tye as well as the muggle Police (muggle version of aurors).'" He read on in his head with Harry looking over his shoulder.  
  
"Ok...he's escaped...now what?" Harry looked at the others.  
  
"We're gonna try and find him that's what," Ron said as if it were the obvious; "if he escaped then he's probably gonna attempt the hippie thing again."  
  
No one noticed Hermione take out a small bag from her pocket and stuff it with gumballs. Then again they probably didn't want to notice.  
  
"Oh. Well whatever, that means I can ask him why he put us all in beds together that day," Draco said almost carelessly, "it had to be him that did it right?" he turned to Blaise.  
  
"I dunno, don't look at me," he said quickly, "if he did it then it was probably for fun."  
  
"Right...well we first need to wait and see if he's done anything at all before we try and capture him," Colin spoke up, "see in the next Prophet if he's done anything."  
  
"Ok then...hey! Hermione what the flying fuck are you doing!?" Harry finally spotted the stealing girl.  
  
"Nothing," she answered quickly, hiding her bag of gumballs.  
  
He narrowed his eyes at her suspiciously then lightened up. "Ok!"  
  
"You guys interested in getting jobs?" Draco suddenly said.  
  
"Jobs?" Pansy blinked, through the whole conversation she was trying not to blush at Ron because she was standing next to him the whole time.  
  
"Yeah, Harry and I were thinking of installing a bar, inn, lil restaurant, or all of them put together."  
  
"That sounds cool," Ron said cheerfully, "have you asked Mr. and Mrs. Honeydukes about it?"  
  
"Not yet," Harry sighed, "but they'd better agree or I'm whipping out my tommy gun!"  
  
Everyone looked at him blankly. "..._Riiight_..."  
  
"Mweheheheh," Hermione laughed quietly, stuffing her mouth with gumballs, "without the drugs but still fucking good," there were tears of joy in her eyes.

* * *

Jederkus stood in the shadows of the alley across the street. He had been watching everyone's movements with silent laughter. He spotted Hermione and glared angrily at her direction.  
  
"I'll get you," he muttered, "nobody every tries to slice of my happy wee wee and lives to tell the tale!"  
  
"'Ey, Mr. Darkhooded figure who's mumbling shit to himself, get out of the fucking way!"  
  
"What?" he turned and faced a pudgy man with a garbage bag in his hand.  
  
"What are yeh waitin' for? Move it! You're standing in my trash can!"  
  
Jederkus looked at where he was standing, "aw crud," he was standing inside the trash can...uh...barrel more like. He stepped out and grouchily walked away. "I'd better start searching for a good hiding spot...again," he muttered.

* * *

Well...that's the last chapter; keep an eye out for the sequel! You can go check my bio, there's a small summary on the sequel there, SMILES AND HUGS AND REVIEW PLEASE! 


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